Today, my mood was haywired. First thing in the morning, I was taken aback when someone came instead of another person whom I had expected. So I told myself, 'It's ok, as long as the task is being done.' Then the second thing happened that took my energy away.
During one program that I did on playing tambola, I had told the participants not to gamble using this game as I knew of some CCs which promoted gambling in this area. Then when all had gone for the next session of the program, someone rushed to me and told me that the food was not delivered and they had forgotten to inform me as they were busy talking. That was already noon time. So I called the company in charge. To my horror, the boss of this company told me that she was informed by her mom that they would be no food delivery. I found this absurd as I had not too long ago sent her an email, informing her the dates where there would be no delivery. I was assured that the food would be delivered by 1:15pm latest. So I quickly informed the participants so that they would be prepared.
Most of the participants and volunteers took this time to interact, building bonds. I could see that they treasured this time where they could just get to know their weekly friends more. However, as the time passed by, they became quieter. So I called the company again. This time, the reply they gave me was that they were unable to get a response from the driver. So at 1:30pm, I called the company again. They told me that they finally managed to get the driver and he would be coming in 5 minutes' time. Thank God that we had cakes and biscuits today. So the participants were able to have some of these to fill their stomachs. Imagine if we run out of cakes and biscuits, these poor participants would be so starving.
Then during one of the visitations, the feelings of not being able to help much set in again. This elderly had been living in dire financial crisis. She envied those Chinese elderly parents who have children to support them. For her, it was a far cry. When she asked her children for money, they would scold her and argued that they were not banks. As she talked about the situations that she was in and how she would suffer hunger panks, tears began to fall.
This is such an irony. When one elderly who have the support of rich relatives but have no children is able to get financial help from the government agencies, another elderly who has many children but none of them rich enough is unable to get any financial help from the government agencies. The only place this elderly can turn to is her god. Like what she says in her own words, 'No need to tell others. They would not understand. Even if they would, how do you expect them to help you? Only way is to tell Allah. Only he will know how I live.' Whenever her neighbours ask her whether she has eaten, she will always answer she has but in actual fact, sometimes she does not have any food laid on the table. She feels very paiseh to tell others that she is penniless.
Lord, how come this world is so unfair? Where is the loophole that this group of people cannot receive the help that they need? When will the eyes of others begin to see the real situation and step up the process to help them and to lift up the restrictions and redtape? I pray for help to come to this group of people soon.
Then when I came home, another episode of event happened. Dad was angry with mom for cooking things that he could not eat. Mom, as usual, defended her actions by saying that we would suffer when she died because we would not have any food to eat. When will mom understand that food and the way it is cooked can kill people sometimes? This is so tiring. Why can't they appreciate each other like what they did when they were courting? Is menopause setting in for dad that every little thing will agitate him? When can I be release of such situation? I find this very tiring. Once home, I wish that I can just lay down and pass on. But time is not up yet. Sigh! God, how long to suffer?
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