Today is really a very frustrated day for me.
First, I got a call from a vendor to ask me to collect the items which they intended to give to us on my own. I was not told in the first place or else I would have taken another different route to collect the things first. Besides, I need to quickly rush to work to do shifting, moving and carrying of things.
Secondly, I got a rude shock when I went to work this morning. Things were messed up and I was not informed. What's worse was that I was alone doing all the carrying, moving and shifting. Thank God for some sisters who helped me to shift the things, or else I would have delayed their programmes.
Then, when I was distributing the things, I realized that there were duplications. When I called someone to verify, I was shocked to know that this person knew about this but did not bother to inform me either via sms or email.
Sigh! Sometimes, I really think that I was taken for a ride in work. That places me in a difficult light when I want to change something or implement something. I feel like a redundant person where I am just following someone else wishes to do things than what I really want to do. That's why when my friend asks me to do certain things, I hesitate for quite a while. While yesterday, I can sense that he may be angry that I keep asking him to repeat what he says. But I really cannot hear what he says. Whatever it is, I feel very trapped.
Why do I have to be in this cross-road again Lord? What is the thing You want to do in me? What do You want me to learn from this? How can I see You working in my life now? Lord, I am in distress. I need Your guidance. Teach me Your ways Lord. PLEASE!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Mixed feelings!
Nowadays, I am really feeling very vexed and at the same time, I am reviewing what I am supposed to do.
At my full time workplace, I find myself having to do so many tasks while my other colleague is only suggesting things. I feel very drained. I want to visit more elderly to get to know them better but in Macpherson area, I have to find a volunteer to go with me. Usually, this volunteer can only make it after 4pm. By the time he arrives, we can only visit one elderly and that's it. In the other centre, I am able to combine the efforts of 2 volunteers who are able to go with me for visitation whenever they are free. But I feel that they are being taken for granted by my colleague, just like she takes advantage of the driver volunteers. Certain things which can be done earlier have been pushed to the last minute and that's when she will start arrowing people to do. Sometimes, she will just order people to do things instead of asking. Well, these few days she arrows me to do certain things and in the end, she suggests postponing some things to next year due to Chinese New Year. I feel very tired to do things so last minute. I share these experiences with my elder brother and he suggests that I speak to her with my new superior. But I know my character too well. If I will to speak up, it will be too direct. Afterall, I am a thinker, not a feeler!
Just when I am thinking about my whole episode in this company, my friend who introduces me to be part-time property agent called me and told me about the new things that were coming up in the company. After hearing from him, I really want to jump at the suggestions and start doing what he suggests. At least that will give me the opportunity to know whether I am cut to do property or not! If God wills, I really hope that I can do some sales. It is very tiring to do paper work and be stuck in the office all day long. I want to meet people, to apply what I have learnt in Psychology and see how I can motivate and perceive people.
Lord, should I just jump the wagon now? I know this is too soon. I have made a hoo-haa when I decided to come back here to work. Now, leaving will really mean leaving, no turning back this time. I pray for Your guidance Lord. I need You to tell me what to do. I want to earn more money to alleviate my family's financial situation but with my current pay, I can only default payment, something which I have not done before. Weighing the pros and cons of staying, I seem to have left with more cons than pros. Lord, what should I do? Please teach me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
At my full time workplace, I find myself having to do so many tasks while my other colleague is only suggesting things. I feel very drained. I want to visit more elderly to get to know them better but in Macpherson area, I have to find a volunteer to go with me. Usually, this volunteer can only make it after 4pm. By the time he arrives, we can only visit one elderly and that's it. In the other centre, I am able to combine the efforts of 2 volunteers who are able to go with me for visitation whenever they are free. But I feel that they are being taken for granted by my colleague, just like she takes advantage of the driver volunteers. Certain things which can be done earlier have been pushed to the last minute and that's when she will start arrowing people to do. Sometimes, she will just order people to do things instead of asking. Well, these few days she arrows me to do certain things and in the end, she suggests postponing some things to next year due to Chinese New Year. I feel very tired to do things so last minute. I share these experiences with my elder brother and he suggests that I speak to her with my new superior. But I know my character too well. If I will to speak up, it will be too direct. Afterall, I am a thinker, not a feeler!
Just when I am thinking about my whole episode in this company, my friend who introduces me to be part-time property agent called me and told me about the new things that were coming up in the company. After hearing from him, I really want to jump at the suggestions and start doing what he suggests. At least that will give me the opportunity to know whether I am cut to do property or not! If God wills, I really hope that I can do some sales. It is very tiring to do paper work and be stuck in the office all day long. I want to meet people, to apply what I have learnt in Psychology and see how I can motivate and perceive people.
Lord, should I just jump the wagon now? I know this is too soon. I have made a hoo-haa when I decided to come back here to work. Now, leaving will really mean leaving, no turning back this time. I pray for Your guidance Lord. I need You to tell me what to do. I want to earn more money to alleviate my family's financial situation but with my current pay, I can only default payment, something which I have not done before. Weighing the pros and cons of staying, I seem to have left with more cons than pros. Lord, what should I do? Please teach me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
My first enjoyable experience with a child
This week has been a very busy week. Not only do we have Christmas celebrations in Leng Kee CC, we also had our combined Christmas celebrations at Macpherson. In both celebrations, the children were so adorable and obedient. Of course there were the few 'black sheeps', but the overall experience were good.
Yesterday, our little volunteer also came to help us. In fact, she helped us for these two Christmas celebrations. She is none other than one of our volunteers' daughter, Chiara. When I first met her, she was very quiet. Till today, she is but at least she opened herself yesterday.
After helping out at the Christmas celebration, I brought her to Orchard Road. I was very surprised to see how happy a child was in going out to the street. In fact, when I told her that I would be bringing her to Orchard Road, she did not believe. But after she confirmed it with her father, she was so happy that she played around the Christmas decoration. Then I brought her to my eye specialist appointment. There, she opened herself more. She told me that her father used to cane her but now, the occurence was much lesser except when she had done something wrong. When I told her that I would be bringing her to see movie, eat dinner and then shopping around, she looked at me in disbelief. Only when she called her father did she believe me. When her father agreed, her eyes lightened up so much that it seemed like she had not gone to see a movie for a long, long time. When I asked her, I was shocked to learn that I was right. A child her age should be given much more. But due to the working standards of her parents, she was often left alone at home with her two younger brothers and maid. During her free time, she will read or play games herself. Sometimes, her brothers will play with her. But most of the time, she is alone, doing her things.
Yesterday, I managed to get to know this little girl better. She is not only a very obedient child but I notice that when she is in a new environment, she seems very anxious that she keeps rubbing her hands. Also, she is like me in a way; her hands will be very cold the minute she goes into an air-con room. At the very mention of her father, she seems to be very afraid. All she does, she must get her father's approval. The way she talks, it seems that she does not seem confident enough. May God be with this child that she will overcome her social anxiety. Lord, guide her heart towards You daily. Help her to see Your plans in her life. I pray for protection and peace to be with her. When she is in a new environment, I pray that You will guide her and let her not be anxious or scared. I pray for Your guidance to be on her. Within my means, I pray that I will be able to bring her out more often so that she can be exposed to more things around her.
May You be with her. I commit her in Jesus' name, Amen!
Yesterday, our little volunteer also came to help us. In fact, she helped us for these two Christmas celebrations. She is none other than one of our volunteers' daughter, Chiara. When I first met her, she was very quiet. Till today, she is but at least she opened herself yesterday.
After helping out at the Christmas celebration, I brought her to Orchard Road. I was very surprised to see how happy a child was in going out to the street. In fact, when I told her that I would be bringing her to Orchard Road, she did not believe. But after she confirmed it with her father, she was so happy that she played around the Christmas decoration. Then I brought her to my eye specialist appointment. There, she opened herself more. She told me that her father used to cane her but now, the occurence was much lesser except when she had done something wrong. When I told her that I would be bringing her to see movie, eat dinner and then shopping around, she looked at me in disbelief. Only when she called her father did she believe me. When her father agreed, her eyes lightened up so much that it seemed like she had not gone to see a movie for a long, long time. When I asked her, I was shocked to learn that I was right. A child her age should be given much more. But due to the working standards of her parents, she was often left alone at home with her two younger brothers and maid. During her free time, she will read or play games herself. Sometimes, her brothers will play with her. But most of the time, she is alone, doing her things.
Yesterday, I managed to get to know this little girl better. She is not only a very obedient child but I notice that when she is in a new environment, she seems very anxious that she keeps rubbing her hands. Also, she is like me in a way; her hands will be very cold the minute she goes into an air-con room. At the very mention of her father, she seems to be very afraid. All she does, she must get her father's approval. The way she talks, it seems that she does not seem confident enough. May God be with this child that she will overcome her social anxiety. Lord, guide her heart towards You daily. Help her to see Your plans in her life. I pray for protection and peace to be with her. When she is in a new environment, I pray that You will guide her and let her not be anxious or scared. I pray for Your guidance to be on her. Within my means, I pray that I will be able to bring her out more often so that she can be exposed to more things around her.
May You be with her. I commit her in Jesus' name, Amen!
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