Mixed feelings!

Nowadays, I am really feeling very vexed and at the same time, I am reviewing what I am supposed to do.

At my full time workplace, I find myself having to do so many tasks while my other colleague is only suggesting things. I feel very drained. I want to visit more elderly to get to know them better but in Macpherson area, I have to find a volunteer to go with me. Usually, this volunteer can only make it after 4pm. By the time he arrives, we can only visit one elderly and that's it. In the other centre, I am able to combine the efforts of 2 volunteers who are able to go with me for visitation whenever they are free. But I feel that they are being taken for granted by my colleague, just like she takes advantage of the driver volunteers. Certain things which can be done earlier have been pushed to the last minute and that's when she will start arrowing people to do. Sometimes, she will just order people to do things instead of asking. Well, these few days she arrows me to do certain things and in the end, she suggests postponing some things to next year due to Chinese New Year. I feel very tired to do things so last minute. I share these experiences with my elder brother and he suggests that I speak to her with my new superior. But I know my character too well. If I will to speak up, it will be too direct. Afterall, I am a thinker, not a feeler!

Just when I am thinking about my whole episode in this company, my friend who introduces me to be part-time property agent called me and told me about the new things that were coming up in the company. After hearing from him, I really want to jump at the suggestions and start doing what he suggests. At least that will give me the opportunity to know whether I am cut to do property or not! If God wills, I really hope that I can do some sales. It is very tiring to do paper work and be stuck in the office all day long. I want to meet people, to apply what I have learnt in Psychology and see how I can motivate and perceive people.

Lord, should I just jump the wagon now? I know this is too soon. I have made a hoo-haa when I decided to come back here to work. Now, leaving will really mean leaving, no turning back this time. I pray for Your guidance Lord. I need You to tell me what to do. I want to earn more money to alleviate my family's financial situation but with my current pay, I can only default payment, something which I have not done before. Weighing the pros and cons of staying, I seem to have left with more cons than pros. Lord, what should I do? Please teach me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.