Down by 2

This month, I encountered 2 persons who had passed away.  They left quite a deep impression on me.

1) Serene Lee Ying: She is my cousin from my eldest auntie.  At age 57, she died of cancer.  Her death came quite a shock.  First, we were told that she had lost all her hair and had gone to Beijing 101 for treatment.  The next thing we knew, she was admitted to hospital due to breathlessness while attending serivce.  While in hospital, 2nd auntie and mom went to visit her.  They realized that she was very blotted.  However, Wendy assured them that there was nothing wrong with her.  Then one day later, her death news came.  It was only on her funeral service that we came to know that she had died of cancer.  What was surprising to us was the Pastor in her church knew about her condition much earlier than ours.

2) David Tan Chow Heng: He was one of the elderly in our SAC.  Though he had registered with us since 2009, he did not join our activities.  It was only March 2011 that he came to our SAC requesting for financial assistance.  At first, I thought that he might be one of those elderly who claimed that they were very poor and just wanted the easy way out for help.  But as I went to his house to do a further interview with him, I realized that I was wrong.  Here was a man, with little to spend and had to slog to have some money for food.  This is often taken granted of by many people.  He told me that when he was much younger, he had his taste of folly by committing adultery and did not take care of his children.  When he broke up with his mistress in Malaysia, his children refused to have anything to do with him.  This was especially so when his wife passed away.  Only his daughter managed to forgive him as years passed by.  He knew in his heart that what he did was wrong and there was no way to make amendments.  So I tried to apply financial aid for him via the welfare fund.  Thank God that the welfare fund helped him paid up one of his arrears in Town Council.  But he still had problems meeting the other arrears.  His god-daughter from Malaysia (from his ex-mistress' daughter) would come to Singapore once a while to help him pay off his arrears.  However, he did not mind.  He woke up every day to go to Geyland Serai to sell his barang barang.  When the Town Council there threw his things away while he was in hospital, his loses were great.  But he did not give up.  Instead, he told me that he would slowly regain his barang barang business back.  His health by then had taken a toll and he needed a pacemaker for his heart condition.  He was worried about the cost, but I told him to look for the social welfare officer in TTSH who definitely could help him.  After the pacemaker was implanted in his heart, he felt itchness and sometimes breathlessness.  Though we had helped him financially and in whatever way we could, he did not take things for granted.  He thought one colleague and many elderly how to make paper butterflies.  Many elderly felt that he was so talented, being able to make sure of recycled items to make something so beautiful.  Not only that, he made a good friend, Robert Wang at the SAC.  Both of them were always sitting side by side, enncouraging each other.  When he was admitted to hospital on 11 Nov, he took the trouble to call us and inform us that he would be absent from the activities at SAC.  This was how responsible he was.  However, that was the last I heard from him.  When volunteer, Eric told me that he was discharged on Saturday, I was quite puzzled as to why he did not call to 'take leave' from SAC.  So in that Saturday afternoon, Maikal went to visit him but there was no one at home.  Today, I called him twice on his handphone to remind him of the outing tomorrow.  However, the line was engaged.  I remembered that the 2nd time I tried calling him, a voice spoke to me that he had passed away.  But I was thinking, 'Impossible! He did not have any major illness.  Morever, Eric checked with the nurse in TTSH and confirmed that he was discharged.'  When I told Maikal that David's handphone line was still engaged, he called TTSH and confirmed that he had passed away on 15 Nov. 

It was sad to see him leaving this world.  But then I know that he will be happier with God now.  Though our meet-up was only a few months, yet he left a very deep impression on me.  This is the uncle which I will definitely miss, especially when I go to Merpati the next time round.

Uncle David, may you rest safely and peacefully in God's hands now.  See you in heaven.

Logbook 15 Jul 2011

Dear Lord

Today began with much frustrations in my heart.  In the morning when I woke up, I could not help but kept feeling frustrated.  Did not know why.

When I reached office, I was surprised to see Maikal.  He was supposed to be on full day OIL but he came in the morning.  Then before our activities began, I went to the multi-media room and was shocked to see the dirty floor.  I asked Jess whether she checked the cleanliness of the centre before letting Chik Yee went home.  She said she did.  So I asked her why she did not notice the dirtiness in the room.  She just said that Maikal did scold him yesterday.  Sigh!

Then came the time for activities.  After Andrea shared the news, I did the announcements.  At first, I was thinking of letting Jess do it but felt that I should do it instead.  As I mentioned about the lunch on Wednesday, 20 July 2011, there were only 11 elderly who wanted to go.  Then Andrea asked Jess what would happen to her Current Affairs since the elderly might be having the lunch sponsored by a temple.  Jess looked very blur and said that they could do it first after their lunch.  Apparently, she did not even notice that the lunch time coincide with her activity.  Then Maikal halted us and asked how many elderly were needed for this lunch.  I told him that Lye Chee had reserved 20 seats for our elderly, it was organized by a temple and the food would be vegetarian.  Maikal was shocked that the sponsored lunch was from a temple and mentioned that he did not know that.  So I asked Jess what was conveyed to Maikal.  She said, 'Yea, I told you, Maikal, that it was from non-Christian organization'.  Immediately, Maikal's and my reaction were: 'You should mentioned it was from a temple'.  So Maikal disapproved of this and the invitation was canceled.

During our Chinese strokes session, I did a blessed draw with the elderly.  The 4 gifts were supposed to be for the whole assembly of elderly today.  But I was very pissed with Pech Ying and Phee Chin.  First, Pech Ying wanted to change the elderly's t shirt because it was too long for her.  But I told her that she should not look at the length but the size.  But she insisted on changing to smaller size.  So I told her to hold on first.  Then she approached Andrea and requested the same thing.  Andrea showed her a L-size and the length was about the same.  So she kept the original size.  Then Phee Chin mentioned that she did not know whether she could wear the t shirt.  Andrea told her that it was measured according to her size.  At that, I was so pissed that I commented that even if we gave free things to you, you would not appreciate it and kept making noises.  So I withdrew the 4 gifts from them and let those who are studying since they made the effort every week to come for lessons.

Then in the afternoon, after lunch, Lye Chee came to ask about the lunch.  So I told her that Maikal had disapproved it.  Lye Chee was so mad that she stormed off.  But she called me at night and asked for the reason.  I told her that Maikal said that since it was from temple, we should not offer to the elderly.  But I told her that I was following instructions.

Sometimes I wonder which angle we are looking at when people offer things to the elderly via our company.  Like in this case, the temple is giving free food to the elderly.  They are not promoting anything.  Just lunch and goodie bags without offering to their idols.  While I understand that Maikal may be afraid that it would cause confusion to the elderly, I feel that maybe giving the elderly a chance to choose may be better.

Whatever it is, I hope that this incident will not send a wrong message to the elderly.

Lord, tomorrow, as we are going to Jurong Central Park, I pray for good weather, Your protection upon each of us and a great time doing the pinwheel and other activities.  Even for the sharing by me to the home visits team in the afternoon, I pray for Your presence to be with me as I speak forth what is required.

In Jesus' name I commit all these to, Amen.

Logbook on 13 July 2011

Dear Lord

Yesterday was an eventful day.  I thank God for all that had happened.

1) Early in the morning, I went to office, wanting to adjust the upstairs air-con controller.  However, there were too many brand codes to choose from.  So I had asked Jess to give me the instruction sheets which I had asked her to keep.  But she could not find it and said that I should be the one holding them.  So I left it as it is.

2) Then we had meeting with Maikal.  He asked me about the outing for this Saturday, next Tuesday and 30 July 2011.  All have been confirmed except for 30 July 2011.  As we need to arrive very early on Saturday, I told him that we need to be early on 30 July 2011 as well.  He advised us to look out for the meals on Tuesday before committing on whether we want to have another meals there in August.

3) He also mentioned about the corporate t shirts for volunteers and staff.  As a rule, we should not be giving volunteers who are on ad-hoc basis the t shirts since they come once in a blue moon.  Also, they should not be given the zip t shirts as that were reserved for staff only.  If volunteers forgot to wear the corporate t shirts for any events, they should not be given another one but to wear the volunteer's tag.

4) Next, we mentioned about the craft session.  According to Jess, she could not find her second IC.  But she would still look.  Also, I informed Maikal that Trindy had decided to try out CareHut because someone had told her that Elderly department had too many volunteers.

5) In the afternoon, I went to visit Janap to give her the rations.  But she was not in.  So I went to see Achutan to inform him of his changed appointment.

6) After that, I was having some free time where I checked my personal email and also played Gardens of Time.

7) At 6:45pm, I went for dinner and waited for Eric to do our night home visits.

8) At 7pm, we started our home visits.  I thank You for the open doors which You had shown us.  The willingness of the elderly and residents to talk to us really warmed my heart.  One elderly even wanted to give us drinks.  May You bless this elderly's heart and that he and his wife will come to SAC to register for the activities.

9) When I came home, I was still wide awake.  So I listened to my portable media and played some more games.

Thank God for the time of relaxing.  May You continue to open doors for me to share Christ with the elderly and residents in Merpati.
In Jesus' name, Amen.

Reflections on Church Camp 2011

On 6 June 2011, a group of Trinitarians boarded the plane to Bangkok then headed by coaches to Pattaya. It was my 2nd church camp. We arrived safely with no hiccups.

The first day was quite relaxing. The hotel was not very facinating but I thought it was God's word that was more important. That got me wrong on that day. Before we headed for dinner, we decided to take a bath first. Afterall, we had a long day, waking up so early in the morning. Then the nightmare began. Mom was the last one to have her bath. When she had finished, suddenly there was a loud sound on the bathroom door. I thought that maybe she could not open the door. However, she fell down due to the wet floor. We were not sure how the wet floor came about. As we were strolling to the dining area, we heard from several Trinitarians that they were upgrading their rooms to the Ocean wing. So we decided to do the same. There was a long queue and the staff there did not seem to be able to handle the things well. Finally, we had the new room key. After dinner and before service time, we packed our things and headed to the new room. Though it was not the best room, it was at least better than the previous one.

The first service started with Pastor Dominic giving us some headstart on what to expect for the next few days. The committee were also very patient with us. After our first night, we were totally tired. We just headed straight to bed.

The next day's activities were also jam-packed. But the morning sessions were filled with God's presence. The sermons being preached were very down-to-earth and really asked us to experience a breakthrough. The rest of the camp was just so relaxing and refreshing. I could really hear God speaking to so many people. Never did I know that on the day of leaving Thailand was the day where our faith was being tested.

On 9 June 2011, we were supposed to take a flight from Bangkok airport at 9pm, Singapore time. However, just when we were about to board the plane, there was a thunderstorm. The rain was heavy and thunder could be seen and heard many times. As we boarded the plane, we were all very anxious. Within minutes, the pilot announced that due to security reasons, the plane could not take off. Pastor Tat Leong began to call Trinitarians to pray since we had experienced breakthrough during the church camp. At 10pm, the pilot was finally given the clearance to load the baggages to the plane. This meant that we could be flying within minutes. However, after the baggages were put into the plane, the rain started to fall heavily again. But the pilot took a great risk to take off.

As the plane flew to higher grounds, something happened. It was like minutes before the plane took off, I began to see huge white clouds flying around the plane. In my heart, I exclaimed, 'Oh no'. The ironical part was when mom said that we would be going home, a voice said to me that we would be going back to heaven's home. That's where I said no, not time yet. I'm not sure whether it was God's saying this or the devil trying to weaken my faith. Then within seconds, the plane shook. At first, it just shook slightly but as it flew to higher heights, it shook so greatly that the plane dropped twice. Some screamed, some exclaimed that we were like sitting in a roller coaster. But what I heard too was God telling His people to pray and trust Him. Finally, God gave insight to the pilot to fly the plane at a lower height. The height was so low that I could see the lights below us. Throughout the journey, we experienced a few more turbulences but it was not as great as the one which we had experienced during take off.

Finally, we arrived at Singapore one and a half hour later than scheduled. Everyone was just relieved. In fact, Melissa told me that she was so frightened that she screamed and prayed at the same time.

Reflections: sometimes, during such incidences and events that are beyond my control, it is very easy to trust in logic than in God. However, through this eventful experiences, I know and affirm that the God whom I trust can bring me through whatever circumstances. He will never leave me nor forsake me. Where He leads me, I will follow. Lord, I give myself to You again. I am nothing and I have nothing. Everything I own in this world belongs to You. Where You lead me, Lord I will follow. Let my faith and focus always be in You. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.

Excitment!

Today, news about Ps Gerald Tan leaving TCC has been confirmed. He would be Senior Pastor of Calvary Assembly of God church next week. Though it was hard to let him and his whole family go, I believe that it is for the extension of Your Kingdom that needs him to move on.

In 2 weeks' time, the church camp will be here. I am excited about it and at the same time, I am expecting something. What that is, I am not sure. Something inside me seems to be asking me to expect something. So Lord, I pray that You will help me to understand what You want me to expect. May Your will be done.

I thank You for all the good things that You have blessed me with. May I never take it for granted. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

First acupuncture and cupping experience

Today, I had my first experience of doing acupuncture and cupping.

Why I did that? Simple, I had been thinking of trying to improve my blood circulation. However, it was to no avail. It is very frustrating. Then I thought of TCM. I tried before in Ma Guang. However, after a while, the effects of the medicines worn off. So to try something new, I thought that maybe going to the shop at my place downstairs would be good. Afterall, if the physician did not do a good job, I can easily go to his shop and complain. Plus, I do not have to spend on transport. So there, I went this morning after taking urgent leave.

The physician advised me to have acupuncture, followed by massage. So I tried. According to what the physician shown my mom who was with me, I had one leg shorter than the other due to the heavy things I carried on one of my shoulders. Plus, I had very stiff muscles on my left side of the body, thereby causing migrane on that area most of the time.

How the experience was like: First, I was asked to lay on a massage bed, facing down. Then I heard plastic bags being torn. The physician told me to relax so that there would not be so much pain when the needles were inserted. I actually did not know that he had started poking me until I left a slight pain on my right neck. Then slowly, the needles were poked onto my body and legs. After that, there was a light sending warmness to my body. I had to lay on my front for about 15 minutes. Then the needles were taken off me and the physician began to massage my body. He also did a few cupping. He told me that there were red marks on my body, showing that I was always very tired. After that, I paid for a discounted price for the session.

Whether this will remove my migrane, I am not sure. I have to go back again to do the whole process. But I must say that after I have done this, I feel sleepy now. But it was a good experience. At least, I do not see the needles, or else I may faint or get scared.

Hopefully, God, this is the physician You have sent to me to heal me of my migrane, giddiness and tightness in my shoulder area. I also want to go for shoulder massage. So Lord, please help me to keep track of my finances and not go overboard with it. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.

Frustration!

Beginning of this year, when I went back to work, things started to pile up and I found to my horror that certain things were not done correctly. But I kept telling myself that I should be more tolerant. I must train on my EQ.

Then today, frustration came back again. At 9:30am, I told my colleague to start the program as it was getting late. She simply did not follow instructions. At 9:40am, I went ahead to do the things I asked her to do. Then during news update, as usual, she would start talking to volunteers and not paying attention or give due respect to the one speaking. So I continued with my programs and told myself to keep cool.

Then during news update, she was talking to one volunteer about the sending of items which I assigned her to do this afternoon. She called me and told me that since some of the elderly were there, she would pass the items to them. At that remark, I told her iterally, ' Do you know what is the meaning of sending the items to the elderly's house?'

During the announcements, as I need recycled papers, I told her to bring me some. She was at the office for quite some time which I found it very puzzling. So I went in. To my horror, she was opening the cabinet where the files were and asked me where the papers were. I told her off! I showed her the place where the papers were and told her that I had shown her where they were put when she asked me on Wednesday.

Then when we were going to have birthday celebrations, I told her to do the necessary by opening the cake and announcing the elderly's names. When she called the elderly's name, she just told the elderly to stand to the front without specifying where. In the end, my boss had to do the showing of way to the elderly.

When I thought that everything was over, I realized that she did not send the items to all the elderly. She came back with the volunteers at 4pm and there was still time to send the other 6 packs to the elderly who were staying opposite our centre. So after my meeting, I did the sending. When she saw my boss, she asked whether she was needed to go with me. I just told her, 'No need'.

Sometimes, I really felt that she did things based on what she thought it was instead of following instructions. I tried to write the instructions by sending one instruction in one sentence and still she could do them wrongly.

Lord, how to work with her? Please show me. I am really up to my neck with so many things to do. Instead of helping me to do the assigned things, she created more work for me. Lord, how? She even keep so many things that are unnecessary. Lord, please teach me how to work with her?

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.