Feelings of sadness and worries!

Today, I was quite chippy and happy at first. But then in the afternoon, suddenly the mood changed. I don't know why.

This morning, I got a call from my cell leader's friend who was also an eye specialist. He had gotten my handphone number from the cell leader and came to know about my eye condition. So he was willing to let me see him earlier than my supposed appointment date in SNEC. Thank God! Else, I don't know what I am applying to my eyes and whether it will cause any problem if I am not a glaucoma patient. I smsed my cell leader to inform him of this status and requested that the cell members to pray for me.

Then when I was having my lunch, suddenly, I felt a little pain on my left eyes. I tried to use my left eye to focus on things and the pain was there more often. During my part time job meeting, suddenly, my vision went blur. I was feeling irritated by that. I don't know what is wrong. Lord, what happened? You said through Pastor Dom that this year would be a year of prosperity. I claimed on that, but from the beginning of this year, all I received were bad news. My bills went up, I had zero amount in my bank account, I had not have any closed cases in refinancing, I had no leads for property sales, my eyes' condition seemed to be getting worse. What's wrong Lord??? Am I meant to be in debts till the day I die? Am I meant to have lost my vision? Lord, what is going on? Please tell me. I am feeling terrible inside and there is no one whom I can share this with. Lord, please help me. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Where should I turn Lord - Part 2

Yesterday, during my meeting with my boss, she suddenly told me that she found it a surprise that I could stand on stage during the Christmas Combined Celebration and Ra-Ra the elderly in the activities. She thought that I was the quiet, shy type as that was the 'me' she saw when I was in the office.

Then during lunch, she announced it to my other colleagues who were sitting in the same table as us. When she mentioned that, I kinda felt embarrassed. Frankly speaking, it is really by God's grace that I am able to stand in front of 50 over elderly each week twice and saying something in front of them. If I were to do that a few years back, I don't think I have the ability and courage to do. Thank God for Your provision.

And that brought me to think through whether I should venture full-time into property. Well, a few days ago, my friend had joined the property industry as a full-time property consultant. I actually encouarged her to do so as I find that this industry is something worth venturing into. Then her manager who is also my friend, asked me whether I had the intention to join full time. Being a part-time property consultant is alright for me, but venturing into full time, well? A lot at stake! First of all, the thing that I am constantly worried about was my family and my financial situation. Going into full-time property consultant means that I may not get money every month, unless this is something which God wants me to do. I still remember what Pastor Beatrice told me when I resigned from Trinity Christian Centre. 'Go to a new place because God is asking you to go there and His presence is going with you. Don't do it because of someone else.'

So Lord, should I venture into full-time there or here? Where to head to Lord? I need You to guide me and teach me Your ways. I have wasted some of the time doing my own things before. I don't want to do that anymore. Teach me what to do. Show me the clear specific direction. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Where should I turn Lord?

I have thinking about my tasks in life and what I have gone through and what I will be going through since the beginning of December.

Life has been great by God's grace. I was able to face an audience without trembling or having butterflies in my stomach. I was even able to come up with programs to excite the elderly and conquer the fear of doing crafts. In fact, it is very encouraging when the elderly see the final product that they make and exclaim what a beautiful thing they have done.

Apart from this, finances seem to be on the downturn. Every though I try to handle and plan the finances to be spent in the most correct possible way I can think of, I still owe much money. My credit bills keep increasing and I am unable to pay them. What's worse is that I have taken another credit advance for payment of another credit card bill.

In the midst of all these, I went to work part time as property agent. I begin calling clients who may be interested in refinancing their loans since this is the hot topic now. At first, it was met with much disappointment. But I managed to put through. Today is already the third day. I believe I can convince some owners to consider this scheme and agree to meet bankers and close the deal. I AM DESPARATE FOR MONEY! Iwant to earn money in the legal way. There is a lot of hard work but I am willing to do the extra.

However, the next question that comes is whether I should do full time instead of just part time. Though now I have not earned my first pay cheque there, I believe that by this month, I will be able to get some money through this scheme. Lord, I really need Your help. PLEASE GIVE ME $3,000 TO PAY MY LOANS, BILLS, DEBTS, EXPENSES AND STILL HAVE MONEY TO SAVE FOR RAINY DAYS BY THIS MONTH. I boldly ask this in Jesus' name. With my own strength, a lot of things cannot be done. But with Your help, I believe I can do much more. Please show me whether I should go full time to this area. Lord, I want to hear Your voice in this. Let me know the direction I should go.

I commit all these to You in Jesus' name, Amen.