Fireproof!

Marriage is not a sprint but a maranthon. Many people know this but how many people actually practise endurance and patience like that in a maranthon.

When I saw the movie, 'Fireproof', a few key things made me reflect:

1) God is working in our lives even though we have not given Him the invitation. There was a part in the movie where Caleb and his father walked to a place where a big cross stood. Caleb was complaining to his father about the insensitivities of his wife, no matter what he tried to do. As he was complaining, his father walked to the side of the cross. Then Caleb asked, 'How could I keep on loving her when she keeps rejecting me?' WOW! Powerful words. At that, the father directed him to God's love. It's the same for us. God did not stop loving me since the day I was born. But He keeps loving me, despite the fact that I do things that hurt Him and betray His trust. When I went on ways that were rebellious and kept rejecting Him, He did not stop loving me less. Rather, He love me even more. His love is ever increasing but never decreasing. He worked in my life even though I had not invited Him in yet. What a wonderful God He is! Thank God for Your love for me.

2) Don't speak negatively to your loved ones. Seem easy; maybe only when things are going alright. But when things start to get messy, when the whole world seems to be crushing down and the pressure of this world weighs on us, do we still speak positively to others, especially our loved ones or do we vent our frustrations on them? I am guilty of speaking negatively to my family when I feel the pressure of this world. Constantly, I am in the position where financial strain seems to be always with me. It's like my 'best' friend now. No matter how I try to pay back, it keeps coming back. Because of that, my temper went berserk. So much so that I say words that hurt, rather than edify. May God help me to be slow to speak, slow to anger.

3) Do one unexpected gesture. Well, be it in a marriage or not, I think it is good to receive some unexpected gesture at times. However, not many people do that. I remember during my teens, I read in Teens Magazine about the ways of trying to keep a relationship going. One of the ways happen to be this. Unexpected gesture can be a gift being sent once in a while. The gift need not be expensive. It's the thought that counts. I tried that to my friends before and it really worked. To my family, well, maybe I have taken them for granted. So this is done rarely. May God help me in this area.

4) Do something for the person to let him/her know that you are thinking of him/her. Hmmm.... This is a big thing for me. If do on someone in the opposite sex, he may get the wrong impression. Use with caution. Hahaha...

5) Call to see if he/she needs anything. Well, sometimes, when I see how many couples call each other during lunch time, it is more like asking whether the person is eating, what food they eat, where they eat. Maybe it will be good to ask whether they need anything near their workplace. Hmmm... will I get to do that for my life-long partner if I have one???

6) Listen with your ears. This is difficult for someone who always give orders. Often times, I find that people around me listen with their mouths. How they do it? Well, they speak words which they want to hear rather than what they hear. May God help me in this area too. In my line of work, I need to listen with my ears and be sensitive to the underlying issues/problems which my beneficiaries may be facing. Like a current case that I have. How to listen to them Lord? How to help them? Please help me God.

7) Study the person. This is very interesting. In the movie, Caleb's colleague mentioned that when a person started courting, he/she would start studying the person; what the other person likes, hates, dislikes, wants, needs, etc. But when the marriage starts, the study stops too. Even in friends, this happens. How many of us can safely say that we know our friends very well? Do we study our friends or let them study us? Lord, from this day forth, let me study my family, friends and colleagues to know them better.

8) Be a friend. Many people that I know seldom treat their spouses as their friends, their family members as their friends or their neighbours as their friends. That is very sad. If we don't treat them as our friend, we push them aside, not wanting to have anything to do with them when they need help. A friend stands with you no matter what the situation is. Just like God. No matter what the situation is, He is always there guiding us, leading us to safe pastures. It is up to us whether we want to follow Him.

9) Love with God's love. Many people love with their hearts. But hearts can be deceiving. We may love something and someone today and tomorrow, it's gone. However, when we love with God's love, we begin to accept that everyone is different. We have more grace to accept the other person's weaknesses. May God help me to love with God's love.

10) Destroy parasites. Parasites are things that eat up our lives and take away everything that we have. Parasites can be addictions to gaming, video, money, pornography. What we do on the outside may not show whether we have parasites or not. For example, we can hide our addictions for pornography. When we are at home and there is no one around us, we look at pornography websites, watch pornography videos and think that no one knows. However, God knows. It hurts Him to see us this way. I must get rid of my parasites. Though it is not easy to do, but I believe that God helps those who help themselves. That at the end of my road in this earth, I can say with all my heart that I have done my best to get rid of my parasites.

'Fireproof' is about living your marriage to be fireproof. I don't know whether I will ever get married but if I do, I hope that I will be able to use the lessons learnt to keep the marriage. Marriage is not a sprint but a maranthon. It requires stamina, endurance, patience and understanding. Without these, the marriage fails. Marriage is sacred. Let nothing that God has made sacred become something that is dreadful. In the meantime, I will use the lessons learnt here.