My crafts

When I was looking through my things, I suddenly realized how many crafts that I had done. Well, I had done cross stitching so much that I was left with so many. I am thinking of giving them away as Christmas gifts, but not sure whether anyone will appreciate it or will criticise it because of my shobby works. So before I do so, here are some of the finished works. Some of the works are not done properly because I was learning then. But as I get to do more, the skills improve. And I am proud to say that I manage to teach the elderly to do cross stitch. Can't wait to see their end products.

Then I move on crochet. To tell you the truth, doing crochet was alot more difficult than I think. As I have not been doing crochet for a while, I find that I cannot remember how to do some simple steps. When I decided to teach the elderly on crochet, I suddenly could not remember how to do a simple worm bookmark. So I quickly searched through the internet. Thank God for the information on the internet. Not only did I find the correct way of doing it, I also found how to end the crochet neatly and was able to show with the elderly.

My latest craft that I did was to do a simple box using plastic canvas. Actually, I just did it today and managed to finish it. Though this is my first try in doing this, I think the end product looks alright to me. I hope that I can teach the elderly to do this so that if they are able to finish this product, then I can teach them to do a bag. High ambitions! God, please give me more brain juices and creativity and help me to find cheap materials.

Feeling helpless!

This evening, I suddenly felt very helpless. I have only 2 weeks left to handle the items to be purchased for the Combined Christmas celebration. Yet, it seemed that everything seemed to be on the stand. I need volunteers but so far only 4 volunteers can confirm their availability. I need money to purchase the items for this event, but I am cash-tight. I really don't know what to do.

I remember what Pastor Wilson shared this morning. In times of doing things, especially during difficult moments at work, do we see Jesus in there? Lord, I need thee to guide me how to handle this event. I need thee to teach me how to prioritise my work and my finances. I need thee every moment to guide me and lead me in the right direction. Teach me Your ways Lord. Let me be a blessing to the people around me. Let me not burst my anger when things don't go my way. But grant me the serenity and guidance and wisdom. In Jesus' name, Amen.

My first Singapore Flyer Outing

On Thursday, our elderly in LKCC finally went to Singapore Flyer. It was supposed to be a happy outing until something unpleasant happened.

Well, what happened was the driver who was picking us at LKCC was very unco-operative. When I met him to let him know that the elderly would be alighting the bus soon, he said in a very rude tone to quicken the pace as the place had a very narrow 2-way road. Then when all the elderly and volunteers went to the bus, he commented that there were so many people, if anything happened, insurance could not pay etc... While he was grumbling at us, we were discussing on whether our driver volunteer should drive some elderly instead. Finally, we decided to and I checked with my colleague about this. While she was choosing the elderly, the driver kept looking very impatiently. Then after the selected elderly had gone to the van to sit, my colleague was still doing a count. This was when the driver kept chasing us to be fast. Not only that, my colleague did not inform one of the group leader that there was a replacement. So, there were some confusion going. Finally, the situation got into me and I asked my colleague whether she would be taking the bus or the van and I kept chasing her to get on the bus after that. This was the first horrible thing that happened.

When we reached SF, another horrible thing happened. This had never happened in any of the outings I had with the elderly. There were some elderly still in the bus, waiting to be alighted and one elderly was just about to alight to the pavement when the driver suddenly drove. We shouted for him to stop and some of the volunteers who were in front overheard him saying that we were so slow. What did he expect? Elderly leh, not normal young gals. Thank God no one was injuried.

The third horrible thing that happened was when we were counting the group members, suddenly one volunteer told us that she had not registered or paid for this trip. I was so shocked how she could manage to join us in this trip when all moved according to their groups allocated. Thank God there were some elderly who did not turn up or else I would have to ask her to take taxi to go home.

Though there were hiccups in this trip, I was glad to hear that the elderly enjoyed it. I actually felt quite bad when I thought of how I mishandled the situation when the first horrible thing happened early in the morning. I let the situation control me instead of the other way round.

God, please help me to change. Don't let me be controlled by the situation around me anymore but let me learn to control the situation. I pray for Your strength and wisdom to be mine during such times. Let me know how to handle this kind of situation in the future. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Personal glory vs God's glory

This weekend, I have been thinking through what one of mentors had told me regarding one of our gathering. Whatever we do, we must do it for God's glory. However, some people had been doing things to glorify themselves. For example, some people give money to charitable organizations so that they can show to the world that they are being kind to the underprivileged. Some give money to their spouses so that they can look good in front of their congregation. What a pity! Are looks more precious than our hearts?

God looks into our hearts. Nothing can escape from Him. At times, I tried to bargain with God. But I know that I lose. Nothing can hide from Him. I can deceive the whole world but not Him. When other people criticize us that we do not give to the church or the underprivileged, God knows our exact situation. He does not judge us like what the world judges us. If we give and do things to take note of what others are looking at us, we are a loser. And a terrible one.

As I remembered the scene about Money No Enough 2 where the mother was pulling through, the daughter-in-law and the sons were tugging the bag of blood meant for the mother. What is important in one person's eyes may be secondary to another person's eyes. When we are at our desperate ends, do you think God looks at our giving more than our hearts? Doing things that others will approve of us is more important or doing God's work is more important? I believe with all my heart that God looks more at our hearts. No matter what we have done wrongly previously, He still loves us and He understands what we go through. In God have I put my trust, I will not be afraid. To God be the Glory!

You Raise Me Up

As I listen to Selah's song, You Raise Me Up, many memories came back. How God has shown me His love, grace and mercy when no one shown me even the simplest thing on earth. What a wonderful God I have! Someone I can call my Friend.

Indeed, when things don't go my way, He is there to support me. When friends don't understand me or have no time for me, He is there to be with me, knowing every situation that I am in. He knows it like no other has known it.

I feel very treasured whenever I think of the times when I am being upheld by Him. When I am praying over certain situations and circumstances in my life, He is telling me things, ensuring me that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He shows me what I can be in Him when others show me what I can't only.

Yes, Lord. Because of You, I am alive! Many times of sufferings, abuses, accusations have been cleared because I have You to walk with. Though these times leave memories, I don't feel sad anymore. BECAUSE OF JESUS, I AM ALIVE!

Are we near end times?

Are we in end times now? Some may agree with this while others may just ignore it and say that we are just being paranoid.

Whatever our answer to this question is, the main thing to ask ourselves is, 'Is God living in our hearts?' Like what today Pastor Wilson shared, we are a temple of the Holy God. God lives in us. How? When we invite Him into us, when we said the sinner's prayers.

I remember when I first received Christ into my life. Things were alright at first. I rose up in faith but it quickly went down very fast, just like Simon Peter. I thought I was doomed. A failure Christian. But God did not give up on me even when I gave up on myself. He quietly set things right. He showed me the way back to Him. Even though I do not have the right way of doing things at times, He still shows me His grace, His mercy and most of all He shows me His love. No love is greater than this that He laid down His life for His friends. We are His friends. May we never, ever forget God's goodness!

Lord, I pray that Your grace will continue to abound in us. Holy Spirit, move freely among us to guide us through this life with Christ as our Vessel. Let us be focused and not shift our focus to something temporal. Lead us in Jesus' name, Amen.

Reviews of Apocalypse, Revelation & Tribulation

Today, I was going through my collection of DVDs and VCDs when I found a set of VCDs which I have not seen for quite some time. So instead of lazying around doing nothing, I decided to take out this set and watched it again.

In the first story of Apocalypse, it talked about how people, Christians, were suddenly disappeared. The anti-Christ then appeared and claimed that the aliens had gotten hold of them. Then there was a promise of peace. During this period of time, people began to look without their spiritual eyes. They began an attitude of seeing is believing. Until one lady, Hannah, a journalist, remembered what her grandmother used to tell her about Christ. In her grandmother's processions, she found 2 video tapes and began to read about them. They were tapes of people asking about the rupture and what this meant. Hannah managed to kneel before God and accepted Him as her Lord. But there are her beloved ones who still have not loved God. One of them is her husband. She tried hard to explain to him but he could not believe. Until one night, he decided to go to his father's grave and began to ask him what made him believe God till the end. There was light shining on his father's grave tomb. There was a bible verse written there: 1 Thessalonians 4:15-16. He went back to the car and flipped the bible to this verse. Then he decided to dig his father's grave to see whether what the bible said about those who were dead would be ruptured first. What he found was only his father's clothes, ring and bible. Not even his father's bones were inside the coffin. That's when he believed. Then came many accusations from the anti-Christ and began to prosecute those who believed in God. Finally, there was evidence to prove that the anti-Christ was a deceiver.

In Revelation and Tribulation, it talked about different people having different experiences and came to know God. In Tribulation, there was also the beast code being introduced. Many people did not believe God even when there was transmission on TV to show that God indeed existed and Jesus came to die for our sins and that the anti-Christ was a deceiver. However, there was also many who believed.

As I saw these movies, I began to wonder: will I be one of them who will rupture? God says in His Word that those who believe in Him will be ruptured. However, there will also be some who will be left behind. There was one scene which showed that those who ruptured have their clothes that they were wearing nicely folded. I wonder whether it will really be so.

Are we already prepared for God's return? Like the movie, Storm of the Century, these movies showed that satan could use our family members to threaten us. Can we stand up for Jesus? Or do we fall into satan's trap by renouncing God? As I saw the gallow equipment in the movie, I was reminded of the actual one which I saw when I was in Vietnam. I remembered going to one of the war museum. There was a real cell with writings on the wall and the gallow machine, rusty and tall. When I reached the room where the gallow machine was, I saw many people walking away without entering or looking. I plucked my courage to go in. As I did that, my legs were trembling. The gallow machine was tall, just like the many movies I saw regarding the end times. Somehow, there was a prompting whether I was prepared to lay there for Jesus' sake or to see my family members there. I have not stopped asking myself this.

Lord, will I stand for You till the end? I pray that I will. Grant me strength to carry on even when the environment tells me otherwise. I also pray for my family members that they too will be protected by You. It's not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of Hosts. Open the eyes of Your people to see You as the true God. Cut off all ungodly ties we, the Tan family has. I pray that You will break every curses and bondages. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Decision To Be Made

Yesterday, a brother-in-christ told me a proposal for me to earn more cash. I don't know whether I can do it or I am doing it according to what God has installed for me.

Getting a part-time job where I can earn extra cash is definitely on my cards for quite some time. However, I need a part-time job that is flexible and does not affect my full-time job. So being a part-time sales personnel sounds good to me. However, I am not sure whether I can do it or whether it is right to do. Am I in accordance with what God has planned for me if I were to do it?

Oh Lord, please give me some directives. If it is Your will for me to take this part-time job, I pray for obvious signs so that I can start doing it. If it is not Your will for me to take this job, then let there be many people telling me not to do it. Lord, please show me what I should do.

Review of movie 'Storm of the Century'

Yesterday, I watched a DVD borrowed from my younger brother's friend. The director is Stephen King who directed this film based on his book.

The story started with a old lady at home enjoying her time watching TV program when suddenly, there was a knock on the door. The visitor is a stranger, completely never heard before in a small town. When the old lady opened the door, the stranger killed her with his tungka. His tungka is not an ordinary one. It has the head of a snake and the head is in silver color. Then came the story where the storm ranged heavily on this town and how this stranger killed the people in this town. He even had the power to plant dreams into people. Whenever he killed someone, he would write on the wall, mirror or any surface, urging the people to give him what he wanted and he would leave them.

Finally, the night came when he revealed what he wanted. He wanted a child to carry on his 'trade'. So the people all gathered in a town hall and voted whether they should believe what this stranger said. Only one man, a constable, stood on his belief that no children should be sacrificed and even gave the consequences of such actions. However, every one did not want to believe in him, not even his wife. Finally, the vote came to decide which child should be given to this stranger. The stranger called all the wives of the children, a total of 8 of them. They were to pick up a stone from a black bag which this stranger had. Only the one parent with the black stone will the child be taken. Well, it seemed that this stranger had already arranged in advance. The constable's child, Ralph, was to be the one to carry on the stranger's target. No matter how the constable objected, the people let this stranger took the child away.

What struck me most in this movie was the last part when all the people were faced with the possibility of losing their child for the sake of the small town. It's like God asking me and everyone out there, that when face with difficult situations, how do we react? God knows what is important to us. So do satan. Most of us will view our family members as the most important thing in our lives. If one day, satan will to use our family members to threaten us to deny our faith in God, will we do that?

Lord, please help me to resist the devil till the end. Even when he threatens me with my family members, may I never be shaken but to stand firm in You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Reviews of Rose Red

Today I have watched the DVD of Stephen King's Rose Red. For those in other countries like USA or Canada, they may have heard of this story.

Rose Red is a haunted house which existed in this world. Haunted because some people claimed that people were missing while in this house or found dead. This is especially when Dr Joyce, a paranormal psychologist found Ellen's diary.

In this story by Stephen King, a paranormal psychologist gathered a group of psychics and psychokinetics to this house called Rose Red to investigate and document whether there was any paranormal activities there. However, strange things started to happen and some of the people in that group died or went missing.

After watching this show, it dawns on me whether there is such a thing as psychic. Some say that they are able to read the minds of those whom they touch; some say that they are able to predict what is going to happen to the people around them. Frankly speaking, I do not believe in this. Rather, I believe that the devil wants us to believe so that he can control our minds the things that prevent us from seeing. For eg, mind readers may tell someone that he/she will meet a good opposite sex partner and they will live a wonderful life if they continue to do something. When such things are said, the receiver will somehow lock this in his/her mind and make it happen without realizing it. This is the same as fortune tellers. They tell you your 'future'; then you lock the 'future' in your mind unconsciously and make it happen. So when it happens, you will say that this fortune teller is very accurate. What we are doing here is exposing ourselves to things that can be quite dangerous. Just like what Stephen King said when he was interviewed for Rose Red. Things can be very unexpected in life and if we are not careful, we will fall into the devil's traps. Besides, another thing I have learnt from this show is that sometimes, we are so pre-occupied in getting what we want, that we lose focus on what is really important to us. Dr Joyce was so pre-occupied in trying to get the results of paranormal activities, that she could not care less of any of her group members' lives. When each one went missing or died, she was only curious on whether the findings were documented in her equipment. When she was confronted by Steven, she justified her actions by saying that there was no such thing as dangerous and that some of them deserved to die. How sad!

May we never end up pursuing our own interests and forsake the lives of our loved ones or any one around us. May God guide us and keep us pure. Help us to have the wisdom to accept things around us and to discern what is from You and what is from the devil. Keep our feet strong and steady in You, Lord so that we can stand up firm on the greatest mountains. We may not receive any reward on earth for doing that, but I know that our reward is already in heaven. Thank you Lord for everything You have done and are doing and going to do in our lives.

Mess!!!!!

The past one week was a really mess week for me! Every thing started not as I thought it to be. Then last Saturday, I was left to handle the work with the elderly alone, without knowing that I was supposed to be the only one doing. That creates a bit of frustration. We have limited volunteers. In fact, on that day itself, there were only six volunteers. To get them to help in teaching the elderly to do art & craft was worse. The volunteers were not told what we were supposed to do, two volunteers were asked to do packing and two volunteers were doing the health checkup for the elderly. So basically, I was left with two other volunteers and we had to do everything in a short time. Then came another shock. My colleague announced that we would be giving some containers when the elderly were singing. Everything was a mess!!!!!! Then when one of the elderly was singing, she talked to another elderly so loudly that this elderly could not continue.

I really hope that I can do it better the coming week and do it according to what I have already planned. If not, it will be another messy time. In fact, some of the elderly were so restless. Everything was so draggy. Lord, please grant me the ability to encourage the elderly and let them do something useful, that they will not be so restless during their time with us.

Thank God that the donation for the elderly items was received with good response. In fact, thank God for Anne for coming up with the idea of moving to the crowds instead of let the crowds come to us. In less than an hour, most of the items were sold, so we left some for the Sunday event. On Sunday itself, though some were reluntant to give and some were thinking that we were 'begging' for money, there were also some who willingly give that little bit. I remember one lady (don't really know whether she is a Filipino or Indonesian) who gave one dollar for an item when all her friends looked away and pretended that they never saw us. May God bless those who willing give and though the amount may not be great, may You continue to bless them greatly.

Really after God's heart?

Today, I went to This Fashion - Special offer store and found out that they were playing worship songs in the shop. I don't know whether to be happy in hearing that or sad. Happy - because more people are beginning to recognize who God really is. Sad - because maybe they are playing this song not knowing what it really means. Much publicity has been given to the recently released Worship album which we can hear in TV commercial. Do people really listen to the lyrics or do they just play the album because it is popular now?

Whatever the motive, I pray that the Holy Spirit will do a marvelous work in all those who listen to this Worship album. May their spiritual eyes be opened and see the real God in their lives.

God is Good!

Today, I received some news that some volunteers felt that we have been very unfair to certain people. During an outing sponsored by companies, a group of them felt that they were being neglected and it was always the 'usual' ones who got to go for such trips. This group suddenly disappeared and expected us to know that something was wrong. I really hope that there is a way to make these volunteers talk to us first before the disappearing act. However, I must acknowledge that not many people will do that, especially those who feel that they are able to do so much more. It's always the self ego that makes them feel that they have done much more than anyone else.

Maybe I can separate the volunteer groups into 2: one to be in charge of food and the other group to be in charge of befriending the elderly and any other adhoc tasks. There must also be a briefing before each week's activity starts, just like in any outing. I pray that God will help us to open our eyes to solve this situation and help us to have the wisdom to encourage the elderly and the volunteers.

Lord, give Andrea and I the wisdom to speak love to the elderly and the volunteers. Let there be open communication and not bad-blood. Let them be transparency so that there will not be any misunderstanding. Lord, give us strength when it seems so hard to convince the elderly or volunteers on our good intention. As they give us constructive feedback, please help us to improve. In Your Name, let these be done with Your Agape Love!

A weekend well-spent

Last Friday, I went to JB with my new colleagues for Staff Summit. It was a very fun time spent not only with them but also with God. In this Summit, there was no restriction on our ranks or what we do. Rather, it was a corporative Summit. I must say that this Summit really helps me to do what other departments are doing. Now at least, I can tell people what other departments are available and what other things they can volunteer in.

As each day was closed with fun and enjoyment, something which Pastor Beatrice said kept repeating in my mind. Don't let the distractions keep you away from what you are called to do. Indeed, I have let distractions keep me away from what God wanted me to do previously. I MUST NOT do that again! Though there may be problems, hardships or other enticements, I must recognize these and ask God for strength. With my own might, I can falter very fast. But with God, all things are possible. Also, I should not judge others. But to know that God sees all our hearts and we are all Work-In-Progress while on this earth.

Thank God for this organization! May you continue to do marvelous things among us. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Exciting memories!

On Thursday, 14 Aug 2008, we had our outing to Qian Hu Fish Farm. My first outing with the elderly in Leng Kee Community Centre. It was very tiring and one elderly tried to 'devalue' us by calling us names for not picking her up when she was late. However, the overall outcome was great. Every one had fun.

Today, 16 Aug 2008, we had another outing to Qian Hu Fish Farm. This time, it was with the elderly in Macpherson. There were also some volunteers from a financial planner company who sponsored this outing. Every one in that company was so sincere in spending time with the elderly. We shared our jokes and as usual, one of our regular volunteers cracked jokes. He even shared with me the things I can do whenever I am out in a coach with the elderly. Then we invited the elderly in that coach to sing. Only one uncle dared to take up the challenge. He was so spontaneous and funny. Then he profusely thanked all volunteers for doing this trip and made the elderly feel so happy.

During lunch, there was also a big singing session. That same uncle who sang in the coach was the first to sing, followed by another uncle, a lady and then an auntie. We had so much laughter.

Though this job requires alot of strength and planning, yet I can feel so happy and enjoy myself totally. Boy! I can't wait to meet these elderly again next week. They are so cute and adorable!

New Beginnings!

Today is the 4th day in my new job and tomorrow no need to work due to National Day! Yes!!!

Not that I don't like this job. But I was very tired. Yesterday, I had the honor of going to Leng Kee CC to see how the elderly programme was runned there. The volunteers there are really on auto-pilot mode. They know the elderly people there and will get them to the proper places first before doing any other things. Yesterday's experience was a bit long though. My colleague, Andrea and I were not told that the MP for this area would be joining us for the lunch which was sponsored by the CC. So we went with our activities and when we were about to cut the birthday cake for those whose birthday falls on this month, the person in charge of the CC told us to wait till the MP came. That really caught us by surprise. What is ever worse is that some elderly asked my colleague where there would be ang bao given to them. We thought, "Not Chinese New Year, where got ang bao?" But we were wrong. There was really ang bao given, to celebrate National Day. Though the event went well, it was very tiring. We ended our session there and reached office at 4pm.

Then we rest for a little while before moving to our hospital visitation. The person whom we visited had a heart operation. Though he had the operation only on Monday or Tuesday, he had most of the wires removed for him. In fact, I was so happy for him that he recovered so fast. He looked so healthy and energetic that you would not suspect that he was a patient in SGH. Besides, his recovery is so fast that he can be discharged tomorrow. Really thank God for His hand protecting this elderly and given him such speedy recovery.

Working in this organization really gives me a sense of hope, belonging and makes me squeeze my creative juices to come up with suggestions. Though I don't know some people yet and some of them look like they are really scared talking to me, I pray that through the days to come and the retreat, we can break the ice and be a team, working towards a common goal. As we are going to bring the elderly to an outing next Thursday, I pray that everything will go on smoothly and every one including the volunteers will enjoy ourselves. On 15 Aug 2008, the Mayor for our district is coming to visit our organization. I also pray that on that day, every thing will run smoothly.

Thank you Lord for everything!

Finally got some $$$

Thank God! The things which I sold in eBay after so many years finally can sell off. I just met a buyer for a Information Technology book which was used during my course for Advanced Diploma in Commerce. Though I sold at a very very small price, but at least I have money to give offering later when I go church.

Thank God for the provision!

THE Day to sign the Letter of Appointment

FINALLY! The day has come for me to sign the letter of appointment. Officially, I will be joining Care Community Services Society on 5 Aug 2008. After a long long wait.

Boy, I can't wait to go today to work. But then must tahan first. While I am happy to do something I like, I am sad to hear the news that one of my ex-colleague cum mentor cum friend cum big sister is resigning. So sad! We used to spend time talking about the work there, the pressures that we faced and the kind of treatment we as admin staff got. Then now, she will be gone on 16 Aug 2008. Before she goes, I must really get a good chance to talk with her.

Though I am sad, I think if it is God's will for her to venture into another aspect of journey, it will be better for her as well. May God bless this sister who is always so considerate and helpful and cheeky!

More waiting!

I thought that I can finally go to work again next week. However, another week to wait.

Somehow, I was quite disappointed. Why? No one was informed about the delay in the letter of appointment for me until I raised it up. Sigh! I just wanted to start early so that I can get things on hand first and then get myself fimilarize. Of course, I need money to go through this period of time. But no problem. Just trust G0d. Like the message which Pastor Dennis shared today. Our God is a God of more than enough. He will not let me be so financially trapped that I cannot get out of it. Of course, I must be responsible too. I think I have not thought through the process well enough, so I have been unemployed for coming to a month. But since it has happened, I only have to pick the pieces and move on. NO point dwelling over what has happened. May God give me more money to tide over the months to come.

What is Life built on?

Love means risk, but the payoffs outweigh the investment. Behind every success story you'll find people who once felt so discouraged they wanted to quit, who fell and needed lifting when someone stepped in, picked them up and helped them to keep going. Life is not built on acquisitions and accomplishments, it's built on relationships. So keep yours in good shape!