今天发生了两件事。第一件让我有很多的感触。第二件事让我有感恩的心情。
今天早上，我很早就到了公司。当时还没人到。不久后，Gabriel就进来了。当我们开始说话时，我发现他很自然的看了Jaena的座位。然后他告诉我他们两已经分开了。我们就坐着开始了这个话题。Gabriel很坦然的说是他的错。说着的时候，眼眶红了。在这时候，我仿佛感受得到他的无奈和他对Jaena的爱。之后，他告诉我他曾经结过婚。婚姻维持了两年半就离婚了。我很惊讶他会这么坦白说出他的过去。毕竟我们不是很好的朋友或同事。不过，我也很高兴他这么的信任我。我就接着这个机会问他是否很想有女朋友。他说一切愿上帝安排。
不久之后，Fun就进来了。Gabriel也和Fun说了分手的事。Fun就邀请他和我们去吃煮炒。然后我们就去了devotion。
上完了devotion, Ps Beatrice就和我们讲解关于2012年的好成绩。我们每个员工将会拿到$1，100。这件事让每个员工都感到很惊讶，不知所措。我很感谢上帝的恩典赐给我。谢谢您，耶稣。我不会乱花钱的。
愿上帝保佑我们弟兄，Gabriel，让他能挣戳起来。谢谢您的保佑和恩惠。冯耶稣的名祷告，阿门。
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
A friend gone
On 29 Dec 2012, a friend had gone to be with The Lord. Her name is Wong Kim Hong. She was 55 years old. She had been battling with breast cancer since last Sep.
I first met Kim Hong when I started working in this company. Se always put on a smile and was never angry or impatient. Not long after knowing her, I found out that she had stage 1 breast cancer. She was very brave. She kept relying on God for strength and never lost her focus on God. When she went for chemo, she went on her own. After she recovered, she came back to volunteer. She loved volunteering so much that she told me that she had fully recovered, she would definitely come back. Whenever I saw her, Poh Sim and Huang Ling together, I always teased them that they were going for mahjong session. Then Kim Hong would always laughed loudly while Huang Ling would say something else.
When Kim Hong had her relapse, I did not know at all. I thought that she was recovering at home and would get better. However, her situation went worse. When I visited her on last Fri with Michelle, Sharon and Dawn, she had just finished her final round of radiotherapy. Doctor mentioned that her condition need to be monitored for the next few days. Though she was asleep when we visited her, at least she had some sleep. According to niece, Justina, she had problem sleeping at night. On Saturday, when Geok I'm and Ann went to visit her, she was feeling pain in her head. After doctor gave her morphine, she was sleeping. But she never woke up from the sleep.
She had told her cell leader that she was not afraid of death. She just wanted to before from pain. Tomorrow, 2 Jan 2013, is her last day on earth. I hope that I can send her off her final journey.
Kim Hong, till we meet in our Father's house. Will always miss you.
I first met Kim Hong when I started working in this company. Se always put on a smile and was never angry or impatient. Not long after knowing her, I found out that she had stage 1 breast cancer. She was very brave. She kept relying on God for strength and never lost her focus on God. When she went for chemo, she went on her own. After she recovered, she came back to volunteer. She loved volunteering so much that she told me that she had fully recovered, she would definitely come back. Whenever I saw her, Poh Sim and Huang Ling together, I always teased them that they were going for mahjong session. Then Kim Hong would always laughed loudly while Huang Ling would say something else.
When Kim Hong had her relapse, I did not know at all. I thought that she was recovering at home and would get better. However, her situation went worse. When I visited her on last Fri with Michelle, Sharon and Dawn, she had just finished her final round of radiotherapy. Doctor mentioned that her condition need to be monitored for the next few days. Though she was asleep when we visited her, at least she had some sleep. According to niece, Justina, she had problem sleeping at night. On Saturday, when Geok I'm and Ann went to visit her, she was feeling pain in her head. After doctor gave her morphine, she was sleeping. But she never woke up from the sleep.
She had told her cell leader that she was not afraid of death. She just wanted to before from pain. Tomorrow, 2 Jan 2013, is her last day on earth. I hope that I can send her off her final journey.
Kim Hong, till we meet in our Father's house. Will always miss you.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
14 March 2012
Dear Lord
Today is a very exciting day for me.
First of all, during the meeting, I was asked to present what I need to renovate on the Satellite Centre. There was critics in some of the things that were being mentioned. What was more upsetting for me is that every time, nothing concrete is being finalized. Don't know what is the point of meeting!
Then back at centre, I realized that every task in the centre will fall upon my shoulder; from admin to prgramme planning to volunteer management to home visits, etc. Lord, as KH shared, I should think that I was looked upon as someone who could handle the load. Yes, I think it is but Lord, I need Your strength to carry on. I need Your wisdom. Though I face objections or negative remarks, I rebuke that in Jesus' name, because I know that I am set apart for You.
Lord, please teach me. I am starting to feel the pressure and my shoulders are very tight again. I need You to help me. I surrender the renovation, the purchasing of items and the co-ordinations unto Your hands. I know that Your plans are to prosper me and not harm me as what You have mentioned in Jeremiah 29:11. I claim that in Jesus' name. Help me to grow in You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Today is a very exciting day for me.
First of all, during the meeting, I was asked to present what I need to renovate on the Satellite Centre. There was critics in some of the things that were being mentioned. What was more upsetting for me is that every time, nothing concrete is being finalized. Don't know what is the point of meeting!
Then back at centre, I realized that every task in the centre will fall upon my shoulder; from admin to prgramme planning to volunteer management to home visits, etc. Lord, as KH shared, I should think that I was looked upon as someone who could handle the load. Yes, I think it is but Lord, I need Your strength to carry on. I need Your wisdom. Though I face objections or negative remarks, I rebuke that in Jesus' name, because I know that I am set apart for You.
Lord, please teach me. I am starting to feel the pressure and my shoulders are very tight again. I need You to help me. I surrender the renovation, the purchasing of items and the co-ordinations unto Your hands. I know that Your plans are to prosper me and not harm me as what You have mentioned in Jeremiah 29:11. I claim that in Jesus' name. Help me to grow in You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
29 Feb 2012 - Wednesday
Dear Lord
Sorry that I missed writing to You for the last ten over days.
These days, I have feeling tired and unable to concentrate in the mornings. Not sure whether it is time for me to go and see a TCM. In the meantime, I am just going to depend on You.
Yesterday, I had taken MC and was not sure of what happened in the centre until A told me this evening on our way home.
On 27 Feb, A found out that one elderly had been telling lies about her condition. Her daughter whom I had seen and talked to before called me but I was not in the office. So A spent time talking to her and finding out from her what really happened to this elderly. First of all, A was shocked to find that the elderly lied about her mother staying in her brother's house when in fact, she was staying with this daughter. Then another thing that shocked A was when she found out that this elderly's psychiatric appointment was today and not some time ago like what she first told A. When I heard that, I told A that I found it fishy when that elderly mentioned that she could not take care of her mother as per doctor's advice. From what I understand, if a person has depression and someone has been staying with her for a long period of time, the doctor will not ask the depressed person to let that someone move to stay with some other people. Also, I told A that this daughter of the elderly was very filial and loves her mother and grandmother a lot. A told me that she could sense from the conversation she had with her and said that this daughter even broke down several times during the conversation.
Then yesterday, an elderly and a volunteer were shouting because of some craft papers. This elderly was so angry that even after A talked to him and that volunteer, he told A that he was already very unhappy when A told all elderly to sit with other elderly whenever they came to the centre. He could not understand why he could not sit with his friends. When A told him why he did not voice out during the feedback, he claimed that he had to do what he was told in order to join the activities here. Then he exclaimed that he would not be coming to the centre anymore.
For that volunteer, she got worked up when A told her that she was wrong to raise her voice and should instead showed grace. She was so upset and told A off. Then she went to another volunteer's house to complain. When she came back, she shouted at A and said that even this volunteer felt that she should stop volunteering in the centre. So I told A that as long as someone stayed too close to that volunteer whom she complained to, this kind of situation would occur.
Lord, I pray for Your covering upon each staff that we will not be the sandbag of such ridiculous rumors. Whatever these people try to scheme against us, I pray that no weapon formed against us will prosper. Also, I pray for Your covering upon this centre and the Satellite centre as well, that You will send committed volunteers who have Your heartbeat. I pray for those volunteers and elderly who are there to swing us down, that they will be slapped by You, not physically but spiritually that they will know the truth and acknowledge their wrongs. I pray that as staff and their friends, we will show grace to the volunteers and elderly in all we do. For those who oppose us for the sake of opposing us, I pray for Your protection and discernment to be upon us. Grant us the wisdom to handle such situations and let the words that will be spoken be from You.
I also commit the Satellite centre to You. Let the elderly who have been longing for this centre be glad to join the centre and to enjoy the activities there. Let them be grateful for the many opportunities that they can have in enjoying such activities and may they not engage in any gossips. I also commit SAC unto Your loving hands that the elderly will not take us for granted, but in everything to give thanks to You. May Your spirit of peace be with us. Also, I pray for this coming Mission Weekend that we will see many more volunteers who can give their time on weekdays and or Saturdays to bless the elderly. Let the volunteers have the discernment to what they hear and to clarify with staff when in doubt. I pray that You will continue to send miracles to happen.
In Jesus' name I commit these unto, Amen.
Sorry that I missed writing to You for the last ten over days.
These days, I have feeling tired and unable to concentrate in the mornings. Not sure whether it is time for me to go and see a TCM. In the meantime, I am just going to depend on You.
Yesterday, I had taken MC and was not sure of what happened in the centre until A told me this evening on our way home.
On 27 Feb, A found out that one elderly had been telling lies about her condition. Her daughter whom I had seen and talked to before called me but I was not in the office. So A spent time talking to her and finding out from her what really happened to this elderly. First of all, A was shocked to find that the elderly lied about her mother staying in her brother's house when in fact, she was staying with this daughter. Then another thing that shocked A was when she found out that this elderly's psychiatric appointment was today and not some time ago like what she first told A. When I heard that, I told A that I found it fishy when that elderly mentioned that she could not take care of her mother as per doctor's advice. From what I understand, if a person has depression and someone has been staying with her for a long period of time, the doctor will not ask the depressed person to let that someone move to stay with some other people. Also, I told A that this daughter of the elderly was very filial and loves her mother and grandmother a lot. A told me that she could sense from the conversation she had with her and said that this daughter even broke down several times during the conversation.
Then yesterday, an elderly and a volunteer were shouting because of some craft papers. This elderly was so angry that even after A talked to him and that volunteer, he told A that he was already very unhappy when A told all elderly to sit with other elderly whenever they came to the centre. He could not understand why he could not sit with his friends. When A told him why he did not voice out during the feedback, he claimed that he had to do what he was told in order to join the activities here. Then he exclaimed that he would not be coming to the centre anymore.
For that volunteer, she got worked up when A told her that she was wrong to raise her voice and should instead showed grace. She was so upset and told A off. Then she went to another volunteer's house to complain. When she came back, she shouted at A and said that even this volunteer felt that she should stop volunteering in the centre. So I told A that as long as someone stayed too close to that volunteer whom she complained to, this kind of situation would occur.
Lord, I pray for Your covering upon each staff that we will not be the sandbag of such ridiculous rumors. Whatever these people try to scheme against us, I pray that no weapon formed against us will prosper. Also, I pray for Your covering upon this centre and the Satellite centre as well, that You will send committed volunteers who have Your heartbeat. I pray for those volunteers and elderly who are there to swing us down, that they will be slapped by You, not physically but spiritually that they will know the truth and acknowledge their wrongs. I pray that as staff and their friends, we will show grace to the volunteers and elderly in all we do. For those who oppose us for the sake of opposing us, I pray for Your protection and discernment to be upon us. Grant us the wisdom to handle such situations and let the words that will be spoken be from You.
I also commit the Satellite centre to You. Let the elderly who have been longing for this centre be glad to join the centre and to enjoy the activities there. Let them be grateful for the many opportunities that they can have in enjoying such activities and may they not engage in any gossips. I also commit SAC unto Your loving hands that the elderly will not take us for granted, but in everything to give thanks to You. May Your spirit of peace be with us. Also, I pray for this coming Mission Weekend that we will see many more volunteers who can give their time on weekdays and or Saturdays to bless the elderly. Let the volunteers have the discernment to what they hear and to clarify with staff when in doubt. I pray that You will continue to send miracles to happen.
In Jesus' name I commit these unto, Amen.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Thursday - 16 Feb 2012
Hi Lord,
Today is another exciting day. Though I had migrane (again!), I thank You that it did not prevent me from doing what I was supposed to do. Thank God for the strength.
This morning, LYL had bruises on her left eye. Her daughter told me that she was puzzled why there were bruises on her mother's body for no apparent reason. However, LYL told me that she was beaten by her daughter again. Should I investigate this further before reporting this? Is it hallucination on LYY's side or is it that her daughter was trying to cover her acts? Lord, please grant me the wisdom to know.
In the afternoon, TCT & WAL stayed behind to do the cross stitches. TCT kept making mistakes on the work. When I asked her what happened, she told me that she could not sleep well last night. She kept waking up at night and could not sleep after that. I pray that she woill be able to sleep well tonight.
When I got back home, I realized that dad was drunk again. Lord, please remove his alcohol addiction and replace it with the desire to read Your word.
Well, tomorrow is another exciting day for me. In the morning, there will be exercises (I will be 'torturing' the elderly again), lunch from the nearby coffee shop and then maybe do some cross stitch again before going for home visits.
May You give me the strength to complete the work tomorrow and go to cell at night.
Thank you Lord for everything.
Today is another exciting day. Though I had migrane (again!), I thank You that it did not prevent me from doing what I was supposed to do. Thank God for the strength.
This morning, LYL had bruises on her left eye. Her daughter told me that she was puzzled why there were bruises on her mother's body for no apparent reason. However, LYL told me that she was beaten by her daughter again. Should I investigate this further before reporting this? Is it hallucination on LYY's side or is it that her daughter was trying to cover her acts? Lord, please grant me the wisdom to know.
In the afternoon, TCT & WAL stayed behind to do the cross stitches. TCT kept making mistakes on the work. When I asked her what happened, she told me that she could not sleep well last night. She kept waking up at night and could not sleep after that. I pray that she woill be able to sleep well tonight.
When I got back home, I realized that dad was drunk again. Lord, please remove his alcohol addiction and replace it with the desire to read Your word.
Well, tomorrow is another exciting day for me. In the morning, there will be exercises (I will be 'torturing' the elderly again), lunch from the nearby coffee shop and then maybe do some cross stitch again before going for home visits.
May You give me the strength to complete the work tomorrow and go to cell at night.
Thank you Lord for everything.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Wednesday, 15 Feb 2012
Hi Lord
I told You that I would be writing to You every day but I forgot for the last few days until last night while I was in bed, I suddenly remembered. Sorry Lord
Today, during staff devotion, we had Ps Darick Yeo to teach us about from Fear to Faith. Indeed, many times, we tend to maximize our problems so much so that we missed what You have installed for us. Using the example of a coin and putting it right in front of one of our eyes, it magnifies the coin till we cannot see what is behind it. But when we put it further away, we are able to see the whole environment. Lord, whatever I am going through now, I pray that I will trust in You. I will leave the problems to You and not magnify it, thus causing self-fear.
After the devotion, I walked back to the centre. It was a slow walk because I was still feeling giddy after the migrane attack. In fact, as I am writing this blog now, my left side of my head is painful; it is pounding. Don't know why this has been happening quite often now. Anyway, once I reached the centre not long after, TCT was there. She was also eager to learn something new. As Charmaine sent the lunch packs to the centre, I gave her the cross stitch that had been made for her. Not long after, the whole gang came to learn the computer games. They were playing the new game on making burgers. They found it very fascinating.
Then Jane came to the centre. She was there to see how Jessica was doing. I told her that generally she did a good job. Not today, she seemed to forget to stack up the chairs first before cleaning the floor. When Jane went to ask Jessica, she admitted that she had forgotten. Then when she got the cheque from JP, she told JP and Jane that she would be giving this cheque to her bf. They advised her against it. Before she left, she came to say goodbye to me and again I told her to give her mother the cheque instead of her bf. Little girl!
At around 6:05pm, AL told me and JP to standardize on two procedures. One is the time to stop giving breakfast which we agreed animously to be 10am and another is when to give out the breakfast. I told her that it would be better to give out only when all elderly have taken the seats so that it would not crash into them. AL then shared that she received feedback on last Thursday that there was conflicting instructions from me and JP. JP insisted that she was the last one to come to the centre after the exercise which was why she started serving breakfast. But I told her that there were many movements at that time. AL also shared that her version was not what she heard. However, after agreeing on these procedures, we happily went home.
While talking to AL during the train ride, my head started pounding again. Don't know why. I pray for total healing on my eyes and head. I am committing every thing in my body to You Lord.
Thank you for hearing me. In Jesus' name, Amen.
I told You that I would be writing to You every day but I forgot for the last few days until last night while I was in bed, I suddenly remembered. Sorry Lord
Today, during staff devotion, we had Ps Darick Yeo to teach us about from Fear to Faith. Indeed, many times, we tend to maximize our problems so much so that we missed what You have installed for us. Using the example of a coin and putting it right in front of one of our eyes, it magnifies the coin till we cannot see what is behind it. But when we put it further away, we are able to see the whole environment. Lord, whatever I am going through now, I pray that I will trust in You. I will leave the problems to You and not magnify it, thus causing self-fear.
After the devotion, I walked back to the centre. It was a slow walk because I was still feeling giddy after the migrane attack. In fact, as I am writing this blog now, my left side of my head is painful; it is pounding. Don't know why this has been happening quite often now. Anyway, once I reached the centre not long after, TCT was there. She was also eager to learn something new. As Charmaine sent the lunch packs to the centre, I gave her the cross stitch that had been made for her. Not long after, the whole gang came to learn the computer games. They were playing the new game on making burgers. They found it very fascinating.
Then Jane came to the centre. She was there to see how Jessica was doing. I told her that generally she did a good job. Not today, she seemed to forget to stack up the chairs first before cleaning the floor. When Jane went to ask Jessica, she admitted that she had forgotten. Then when she got the cheque from JP, she told JP and Jane that she would be giving this cheque to her bf. They advised her against it. Before she left, she came to say goodbye to me and again I told her to give her mother the cheque instead of her bf. Little girl!
At around 6:05pm, AL told me and JP to standardize on two procedures. One is the time to stop giving breakfast which we agreed animously to be 10am and another is when to give out the breakfast. I told her that it would be better to give out only when all elderly have taken the seats so that it would not crash into them. AL then shared that she received feedback on last Thursday that there was conflicting instructions from me and JP. JP insisted that she was the last one to come to the centre after the exercise which was why she started serving breakfast. But I told her that there were many movements at that time. AL also shared that her version was not what she heard. However, after agreeing on these procedures, we happily went home.
While talking to AL during the train ride, my head started pounding again. Don't know why. I pray for total healing on my eyes and head. I am committing every thing in my body to You Lord.
Thank you for hearing me. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
11 Feb 2012 - Beginnings
Hi Lord
Today, I've decided to keep you posted of every things that happen to me every day by writing to you daily. So, let me share with you what happened today.
This morning, there was a call in the morning. Mr Teo called to say that he would not be going to SAC because he had no strength at all. Then he mentioned that he would most likely go to hospital. At first, I thought his daughter would be bringing him there. But he said he would be calling ambulance to go on his own. When I heard that, I was very sadden. I could hear his tears in his voice. Lord, I don't know what happened to him. But I pray that You would keep him in Your arms.
Then I helped WAL to fill up form for the application of enhanced PCPS. As more information was needed, I went to her unit to gather more things. At the same time, I went to see another elderly and asked why he decided to stop the delivery of lunch. Though not much was said, I could sense that someone could have told him something. So I encouraged him to accept the lunch sponsored by CW. He agreed. That would have helped him to save some money.
When the activities started, Jess was teaching the elderly to do craft work. I did not know how to do so I went around. Also, ET & FC were doing the medical checks. So I went to see how they were doing. To my amazement, JP did not arrange the files according to the number that was given out by her. So I went downstairs with the files and sort them up, before taking them to them again.
FC was a great help. After he had done the recording, he would help to keep the files. May God bless his humble heart. He was so willing to do so many things, just to show that because he has been blessed, he will bless others.
In the afternoon, I went to that same elderly's home again. This time round, his wife was sitting in a sofa, but in a very weak situation. His daughter and son-in-law were also there. I gave the rice, underpants and body wash to him. According to him, he has to spend almost more than $200 to buy these items every month. May God help them in their finances. Also, I pray that there will be more sponsors or donations for this so that we can help to ease their burden as well.
Then I went to TCT's house. She had a laptop from her son. So I showed her how to use it and after that, told her how to do the new cross stitch. She was very excited.
Though some unhappy things have made the relationship between TCT, SL, THL and YSH, I pray that God, You will reveal the truth to them and may they reconcile.
I commit these people unto Your hands. I pray that tomorrow, I will wake up early to go to service and also to Chinatown for window shopping. May You help me not to overspend my budget.
Thank you and may Your peace be with my family members.
Today, I've decided to keep you posted of every things that happen to me every day by writing to you daily. So, let me share with you what happened today.
This morning, there was a call in the morning. Mr Teo called to say that he would not be going to SAC because he had no strength at all. Then he mentioned that he would most likely go to hospital. At first, I thought his daughter would be bringing him there. But he said he would be calling ambulance to go on his own. When I heard that, I was very sadden. I could hear his tears in his voice. Lord, I don't know what happened to him. But I pray that You would keep him in Your arms.
Then I helped WAL to fill up form for the application of enhanced PCPS. As more information was needed, I went to her unit to gather more things. At the same time, I went to see another elderly and asked why he decided to stop the delivery of lunch. Though not much was said, I could sense that someone could have told him something. So I encouraged him to accept the lunch sponsored by CW. He agreed. That would have helped him to save some money.
When the activities started, Jess was teaching the elderly to do craft work. I did not know how to do so I went around. Also, ET & FC were doing the medical checks. So I went to see how they were doing. To my amazement, JP did not arrange the files according to the number that was given out by her. So I went downstairs with the files and sort them up, before taking them to them again.
FC was a great help. After he had done the recording, he would help to keep the files. May God bless his humble heart. He was so willing to do so many things, just to show that because he has been blessed, he will bless others.
In the afternoon, I went to that same elderly's home again. This time round, his wife was sitting in a sofa, but in a very weak situation. His daughter and son-in-law were also there. I gave the rice, underpants and body wash to him. According to him, he has to spend almost more than $200 to buy these items every month. May God help them in their finances. Also, I pray that there will be more sponsors or donations for this so that we can help to ease their burden as well.
Then I went to TCT's house. She had a laptop from her son. So I showed her how to use it and after that, told her how to do the new cross stitch. She was very excited.
Though some unhappy things have made the relationship between TCT, SL, THL and YSH, I pray that God, You will reveal the truth to them and may they reconcile.
I commit these people unto Your hands. I pray that tomorrow, I will wake up early to go to service and also to Chinatown for window shopping. May You help me not to overspend my budget.
Thank you and may Your peace be with my family members.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Sleepy Day
Today, I had taken urgent leave. Was feeling very sleepy in the morning that my mind could only think of sleep. Lord, please let this be the last time for me to act this way. It's not glorifying You with this action of mine.
Many things have happened over the last few days. Some things really surprised me. First, it was S who told me about the struggles she faced at home. Then she told me that she had to go for operation for her kidney stones. After that, E told me that she resigned from her job again. She wanted to know how to hear from God correctly. She said that sometimes she could not understand why God opened a door but the situation became tough for her after some time. It was only just now when I heard K Love who talked about a door being opened. When God opens a door, He does not guarantee that it will be an easy route. In fact, most of the time, it is a difficult one, especially when we have not fully surrender ourselves to Him. So God uses the situation, the people around us to mould us. When I think about the work that He puts me in and the colleagues, I find this to be true but hard to follow. When I am in situation that I feel is frustrating because no body is lifting a finger to help or draw so many boundary lines, it is hard to know that God is trying to mould me. I get frustrated most of the time even though I try to hand the situation to God's hands. Lord, teach me Your ways. I know that with my own abilities, this is a limit to what I can do. With You helping me, I can do much more imaginable. Just like the crochet work that You showed me. Lord, let me have faith when faith seems weak. Let Your presence be more real to me in such situation. Lord, I need You every second, minute and hour of my life. Help me Lord.
Many things have happened over the last few days. Some things really surprised me. First, it was S who told me about the struggles she faced at home. Then she told me that she had to go for operation for her kidney stones. After that, E told me that she resigned from her job again. She wanted to know how to hear from God correctly. She said that sometimes she could not understand why God opened a door but the situation became tough for her after some time. It was only just now when I heard K Love who talked about a door being opened. When God opens a door, He does not guarantee that it will be an easy route. In fact, most of the time, it is a difficult one, especially when we have not fully surrender ourselves to Him. So God uses the situation, the people around us to mould us. When I think about the work that He puts me in and the colleagues, I find this to be true but hard to follow. When I am in situation that I feel is frustrating because no body is lifting a finger to help or draw so many boundary lines, it is hard to know that God is trying to mould me. I get frustrated most of the time even though I try to hand the situation to God's hands. Lord, teach me Your ways. I know that with my own abilities, this is a limit to what I can do. With You helping me, I can do much more imaginable. Just like the crochet work that You showed me. Lord, let me have faith when faith seems weak. Let Your presence be more real to me in such situation. Lord, I need You every second, minute and hour of my life. Help me Lord.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Down by 2
This month, I encountered 2 persons who had passed away. They left quite a deep impression on me.
1) Serene Lee Ying: She is my cousin from my eldest auntie. At age 57, she died of cancer. Her death came quite a shock. First, we were told that she had lost all her hair and had gone to Beijing 101 for treatment. The next thing we knew, she was admitted to hospital due to breathlessness while attending serivce. While in hospital, 2nd auntie and mom went to visit her. They realized that she was very blotted. However, Wendy assured them that there was nothing wrong with her. Then one day later, her death news came. It was only on her funeral service that we came to know that she had died of cancer. What was surprising to us was the Pastor in her church knew about her condition much earlier than ours.
2) David Tan Chow Heng: He was one of the elderly in our SAC. Though he had registered with us since 2009, he did not join our activities. It was only March 2011 that he came to our SAC requesting for financial assistance. At first, I thought that he might be one of those elderly who claimed that they were very poor and just wanted the easy way out for help. But as I went to his house to do a further interview with him, I realized that I was wrong. Here was a man, with little to spend and had to slog to have some money for food. This is often taken granted of by many people. He told me that when he was much younger, he had his taste of folly by committing adultery and did not take care of his children. When he broke up with his mistress in Malaysia, his children refused to have anything to do with him. This was especially so when his wife passed away. Only his daughter managed to forgive him as years passed by. He knew in his heart that what he did was wrong and there was no way to make amendments. So I tried to apply financial aid for him via the welfare fund. Thank God that the welfare fund helped him paid up one of his arrears in Town Council. But he still had problems meeting the other arrears. His god-daughter from Malaysia (from his ex-mistress' daughter) would come to Singapore once a while to help him pay off his arrears. However, he did not mind. He woke up every day to go to Geyland Serai to sell his barang barang. When the Town Council there threw his things away while he was in hospital, his loses were great. But he did not give up. Instead, he told me that he would slowly regain his barang barang business back. His health by then had taken a toll and he needed a pacemaker for his heart condition. He was worried about the cost, but I told him to look for the social welfare officer in TTSH who definitely could help him. After the pacemaker was implanted in his heart, he felt itchness and sometimes breathlessness. Though we had helped him financially and in whatever way we could, he did not take things for granted. He thought one colleague and many elderly how to make paper butterflies. Many elderly felt that he was so talented, being able to make sure of recycled items to make something so beautiful. Not only that, he made a good friend, Robert Wang at the SAC. Both of them were always sitting side by side, enncouraging each other. When he was admitted to hospital on 11 Nov, he took the trouble to call us and inform us that he would be absent from the activities at SAC. This was how responsible he was. However, that was the last I heard from him. When volunteer, Eric told me that he was discharged on Saturday, I was quite puzzled as to why he did not call to 'take leave' from SAC. So in that Saturday afternoon, Maikal went to visit him but there was no one at home. Today, I called him twice on his handphone to remind him of the outing tomorrow. However, the line was engaged. I remembered that the 2nd time I tried calling him, a voice spoke to me that he had passed away. But I was thinking, 'Impossible! He did not have any major illness. Morever, Eric checked with the nurse in TTSH and confirmed that he was discharged.' When I told Maikal that David's handphone line was still engaged, he called TTSH and confirmed that he had passed away on 15 Nov.
It was sad to see him leaving this world. But then I know that he will be happier with God now. Though our meet-up was only a few months, yet he left a very deep impression on me. This is the uncle which I will definitely miss, especially when I go to Merpati the next time round.
Uncle David, may you rest safely and peacefully in God's hands now. See you in heaven.
1) Serene Lee Ying: She is my cousin from my eldest auntie. At age 57, she died of cancer. Her death came quite a shock. First, we were told that she had lost all her hair and had gone to Beijing 101 for treatment. The next thing we knew, she was admitted to hospital due to breathlessness while attending serivce. While in hospital, 2nd auntie and mom went to visit her. They realized that she was very blotted. However, Wendy assured them that there was nothing wrong with her. Then one day later, her death news came. It was only on her funeral service that we came to know that she had died of cancer. What was surprising to us was the Pastor in her church knew about her condition much earlier than ours.
2) David Tan Chow Heng: He was one of the elderly in our SAC. Though he had registered with us since 2009, he did not join our activities. It was only March 2011 that he came to our SAC requesting for financial assistance. At first, I thought that he might be one of those elderly who claimed that they were very poor and just wanted the easy way out for help. But as I went to his house to do a further interview with him, I realized that I was wrong. Here was a man, with little to spend and had to slog to have some money for food. This is often taken granted of by many people. He told me that when he was much younger, he had his taste of folly by committing adultery and did not take care of his children. When he broke up with his mistress in Malaysia, his children refused to have anything to do with him. This was especially so when his wife passed away. Only his daughter managed to forgive him as years passed by. He knew in his heart that what he did was wrong and there was no way to make amendments. So I tried to apply financial aid for him via the welfare fund. Thank God that the welfare fund helped him paid up one of his arrears in Town Council. But he still had problems meeting the other arrears. His god-daughter from Malaysia (from his ex-mistress' daughter) would come to Singapore once a while to help him pay off his arrears. However, he did not mind. He woke up every day to go to Geyland Serai to sell his barang barang. When the Town Council there threw his things away while he was in hospital, his loses were great. But he did not give up. Instead, he told me that he would slowly regain his barang barang business back. His health by then had taken a toll and he needed a pacemaker for his heart condition. He was worried about the cost, but I told him to look for the social welfare officer in TTSH who definitely could help him. After the pacemaker was implanted in his heart, he felt itchness and sometimes breathlessness. Though we had helped him financially and in whatever way we could, he did not take things for granted. He thought one colleague and many elderly how to make paper butterflies. Many elderly felt that he was so talented, being able to make sure of recycled items to make something so beautiful. Not only that, he made a good friend, Robert Wang at the SAC. Both of them were always sitting side by side, enncouraging each other. When he was admitted to hospital on 11 Nov, he took the trouble to call us and inform us that he would be absent from the activities at SAC. This was how responsible he was. However, that was the last I heard from him. When volunteer, Eric told me that he was discharged on Saturday, I was quite puzzled as to why he did not call to 'take leave' from SAC. So in that Saturday afternoon, Maikal went to visit him but there was no one at home. Today, I called him twice on his handphone to remind him of the outing tomorrow. However, the line was engaged. I remembered that the 2nd time I tried calling him, a voice spoke to me that he had passed away. But I was thinking, 'Impossible! He did not have any major illness. Morever, Eric checked with the nurse in TTSH and confirmed that he was discharged.' When I told Maikal that David's handphone line was still engaged, he called TTSH and confirmed that he had passed away on 15 Nov.
It was sad to see him leaving this world. But then I know that he will be happier with God now. Though our meet-up was only a few months, yet he left a very deep impression on me. This is the uncle which I will definitely miss, especially when I go to Merpati the next time round.
Uncle David, may you rest safely and peacefully in God's hands now. See you in heaven.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Logbook 15 Jul 2011
Dear Lord
Today began with much frustrations in my heart. In the morning when I woke up, I could not help but kept feeling frustrated. Did not know why.
When I reached office, I was surprised to see Maikal. He was supposed to be on full day OIL but he came in the morning. Then before our activities began, I went to the multi-media room and was shocked to see the dirty floor. I asked Jess whether she checked the cleanliness of the centre before letting Chik Yee went home. She said she did. So I asked her why she did not notice the dirtiness in the room. She just said that Maikal did scold him yesterday. Sigh!
Then came the time for activities. After Andrea shared the news, I did the announcements. At first, I was thinking of letting Jess do it but felt that I should do it instead. As I mentioned about the lunch on Wednesday, 20 July 2011, there were only 11 elderly who wanted to go. Then Andrea asked Jess what would happen to her Current Affairs since the elderly might be having the lunch sponsored by a temple. Jess looked very blur and said that they could do it first after their lunch. Apparently, she did not even notice that the lunch time coincide with her activity. Then Maikal halted us and asked how many elderly were needed for this lunch. I told him that Lye Chee had reserved 20 seats for our elderly, it was organized by a temple and the food would be vegetarian. Maikal was shocked that the sponsored lunch was from a temple and mentioned that he did not know that. So I asked Jess what was conveyed to Maikal. She said, 'Yea, I told you, Maikal, that it was from non-Christian organization'. Immediately, Maikal's and my reaction were: 'You should mentioned it was from a temple'. So Maikal disapproved of this and the invitation was canceled.
During our Chinese strokes session, I did a blessed draw with the elderly. The 4 gifts were supposed to be for the whole assembly of elderly today. But I was very pissed with Pech Ying and Phee Chin. First, Pech Ying wanted to change the elderly's t shirt because it was too long for her. But I told her that she should not look at the length but the size. But she insisted on changing to smaller size. So I told her to hold on first. Then she approached Andrea and requested the same thing. Andrea showed her a L-size and the length was about the same. So she kept the original size. Then Phee Chin mentioned that she did not know whether she could wear the t shirt. Andrea told her that it was measured according to her size. At that, I was so pissed that I commented that even if we gave free things to you, you would not appreciate it and kept making noises. So I withdrew the 4 gifts from them and let those who are studying since they made the effort every week to come for lessons.
Then in the afternoon, after lunch, Lye Chee came to ask about the lunch. So I told her that Maikal had disapproved it. Lye Chee was so mad that she stormed off. But she called me at night and asked for the reason. I told her that Maikal said that since it was from temple, we should not offer to the elderly. But I told her that I was following instructions.
Sometimes I wonder which angle we are looking at when people offer things to the elderly via our company. Like in this case, the temple is giving free food to the elderly. They are not promoting anything. Just lunch and goodie bags without offering to their idols. While I understand that Maikal may be afraid that it would cause confusion to the elderly, I feel that maybe giving the elderly a chance to choose may be better.
Whatever it is, I hope that this incident will not send a wrong message to the elderly.
Lord, tomorrow, as we are going to Jurong Central Park, I pray for good weather, Your protection upon each of us and a great time doing the pinwheel and other activities. Even for the sharing by me to the home visits team in the afternoon, I pray for Your presence to be with me as I speak forth what is required.
In Jesus' name I commit all these to, Amen.
Today began with much frustrations in my heart. In the morning when I woke up, I could not help but kept feeling frustrated. Did not know why.
When I reached office, I was surprised to see Maikal. He was supposed to be on full day OIL but he came in the morning. Then before our activities began, I went to the multi-media room and was shocked to see the dirty floor. I asked Jess whether she checked the cleanliness of the centre before letting Chik Yee went home. She said she did. So I asked her why she did not notice the dirtiness in the room. She just said that Maikal did scold him yesterday. Sigh!
Then came the time for activities. After Andrea shared the news, I did the announcements. At first, I was thinking of letting Jess do it but felt that I should do it instead. As I mentioned about the lunch on Wednesday, 20 July 2011, there were only 11 elderly who wanted to go. Then Andrea asked Jess what would happen to her Current Affairs since the elderly might be having the lunch sponsored by a temple. Jess looked very blur and said that they could do it first after their lunch. Apparently, she did not even notice that the lunch time coincide with her activity. Then Maikal halted us and asked how many elderly were needed for this lunch. I told him that Lye Chee had reserved 20 seats for our elderly, it was organized by a temple and the food would be vegetarian. Maikal was shocked that the sponsored lunch was from a temple and mentioned that he did not know that. So I asked Jess what was conveyed to Maikal. She said, 'Yea, I told you, Maikal, that it was from non-Christian organization'. Immediately, Maikal's and my reaction were: 'You should mentioned it was from a temple'. So Maikal disapproved of this and the invitation was canceled.
During our Chinese strokes session, I did a blessed draw with the elderly. The 4 gifts were supposed to be for the whole assembly of elderly today. But I was very pissed with Pech Ying and Phee Chin. First, Pech Ying wanted to change the elderly's t shirt because it was too long for her. But I told her that she should not look at the length but the size. But she insisted on changing to smaller size. So I told her to hold on first. Then she approached Andrea and requested the same thing. Andrea showed her a L-size and the length was about the same. So she kept the original size. Then Phee Chin mentioned that she did not know whether she could wear the t shirt. Andrea told her that it was measured according to her size. At that, I was so pissed that I commented that even if we gave free things to you, you would not appreciate it and kept making noises. So I withdrew the 4 gifts from them and let those who are studying since they made the effort every week to come for lessons.
Then in the afternoon, after lunch, Lye Chee came to ask about the lunch. So I told her that Maikal had disapproved it. Lye Chee was so mad that she stormed off. But she called me at night and asked for the reason. I told her that Maikal said that since it was from temple, we should not offer to the elderly. But I told her that I was following instructions.
Sometimes I wonder which angle we are looking at when people offer things to the elderly via our company. Like in this case, the temple is giving free food to the elderly. They are not promoting anything. Just lunch and goodie bags without offering to their idols. While I understand that Maikal may be afraid that it would cause confusion to the elderly, I feel that maybe giving the elderly a chance to choose may be better.
Whatever it is, I hope that this incident will not send a wrong message to the elderly.
Lord, tomorrow, as we are going to Jurong Central Park, I pray for good weather, Your protection upon each of us and a great time doing the pinwheel and other activities. Even for the sharing by me to the home visits team in the afternoon, I pray for Your presence to be with me as I speak forth what is required.
In Jesus' name I commit all these to, Amen.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Logbook on 13 July 2011
Dear Lord
Yesterday was an eventful day. I thank God for all that had happened.
1) Early in the morning, I went to office, wanting to adjust the upstairs air-con controller. However, there were too many brand codes to choose from. So I had asked Jess to give me the instruction sheets which I had asked her to keep. But she could not find it and said that I should be the one holding them. So I left it as it is.
2) Then we had meeting with Maikal. He asked me about the outing for this Saturday, next Tuesday and 30 July 2011. All have been confirmed except for 30 July 2011. As we need to arrive very early on Saturday, I told him that we need to be early on 30 July 2011 as well. He advised us to look out for the meals on Tuesday before committing on whether we want to have another meals there in August.
3) He also mentioned about the corporate t shirts for volunteers and staff. As a rule, we should not be giving volunteers who are on ad-hoc basis the t shirts since they come once in a blue moon. Also, they should not be given the zip t shirts as that were reserved for staff only. If volunteers forgot to wear the corporate t shirts for any events, they should not be given another one but to wear the volunteer's tag.
4) Next, we mentioned about the craft session. According to Jess, she could not find her second IC. But she would still look. Also, I informed Maikal that Trindy had decided to try out CareHut because someone had told her that Elderly department had too many volunteers.
5) In the afternoon, I went to visit Janap to give her the rations. But she was not in. So I went to see Achutan to inform him of his changed appointment.
6) After that, I was having some free time where I checked my personal email and also played Gardens of Time.
7) At 6:45pm, I went for dinner and waited for Eric to do our night home visits.
8) At 7pm, we started our home visits. I thank You for the open doors which You had shown us. The willingness of the elderly and residents to talk to us really warmed my heart. One elderly even wanted to give us drinks. May You bless this elderly's heart and that he and his wife will come to SAC to register for the activities.
9) When I came home, I was still wide awake. So I listened to my portable media and played some more games.
Thank God for the time of relaxing. May You continue to open doors for me to share Christ with the elderly and residents in Merpati.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Yesterday was an eventful day. I thank God for all that had happened.
1) Early in the morning, I went to office, wanting to adjust the upstairs air-con controller. However, there were too many brand codes to choose from. So I had asked Jess to give me the instruction sheets which I had asked her to keep. But she could not find it and said that I should be the one holding them. So I left it as it is.
2) Then we had meeting with Maikal. He asked me about the outing for this Saturday, next Tuesday and 30 July 2011. All have been confirmed except for 30 July 2011. As we need to arrive very early on Saturday, I told him that we need to be early on 30 July 2011 as well. He advised us to look out for the meals on Tuesday before committing on whether we want to have another meals there in August.
3) He also mentioned about the corporate t shirts for volunteers and staff. As a rule, we should not be giving volunteers who are on ad-hoc basis the t shirts since they come once in a blue moon. Also, they should not be given the zip t shirts as that were reserved for staff only. If volunteers forgot to wear the corporate t shirts for any events, they should not be given another one but to wear the volunteer's tag.
4) Next, we mentioned about the craft session. According to Jess, she could not find her second IC. But she would still look. Also, I informed Maikal that Trindy had decided to try out CareHut because someone had told her that Elderly department had too many volunteers.
5) In the afternoon, I went to visit Janap to give her the rations. But she was not in. So I went to see Achutan to inform him of his changed appointment.
6) After that, I was having some free time where I checked my personal email and also played Gardens of Time.
7) At 6:45pm, I went for dinner and waited for Eric to do our night home visits.
8) At 7pm, we started our home visits. I thank You for the open doors which You had shown us. The willingness of the elderly and residents to talk to us really warmed my heart. One elderly even wanted to give us drinks. May You bless this elderly's heart and that he and his wife will come to SAC to register for the activities.
9) When I came home, I was still wide awake. So I listened to my portable media and played some more games.
Thank God for the time of relaxing. May You continue to open doors for me to share Christ with the elderly and residents in Merpati.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Reflections on Church Camp 2011
On 6 June 2011, a group of Trinitarians boarded the plane to Bangkok then headed by coaches to Pattaya. It was my 2nd church camp. We arrived safely with no hiccups.
The first day was quite relaxing. The hotel was not very facinating but I thought it was God's word that was more important. That got me wrong on that day. Before we headed for dinner, we decided to take a bath first. Afterall, we had a long day, waking up so early in the morning. Then the nightmare began. Mom was the last one to have her bath. When she had finished, suddenly there was a loud sound on the bathroom door. I thought that maybe she could not open the door. However, she fell down due to the wet floor. We were not sure how the wet floor came about. As we were strolling to the dining area, we heard from several Trinitarians that they were upgrading their rooms to the Ocean wing. So we decided to do the same. There was a long queue and the staff there did not seem to be able to handle the things well. Finally, we had the new room key. After dinner and before service time, we packed our things and headed to the new room. Though it was not the best room, it was at least better than the previous one.
The first service started with Pastor Dominic giving us some headstart on what to expect for the next few days. The committee were also very patient with us. After our first night, we were totally tired. We just headed straight to bed.
The next day's activities were also jam-packed. But the morning sessions were filled with God's presence. The sermons being preached were very down-to-earth and really asked us to experience a breakthrough. The rest of the camp was just so relaxing and refreshing. I could really hear God speaking to so many people. Never did I know that on the day of leaving Thailand was the day where our faith was being tested.
On 9 June 2011, we were supposed to take a flight from Bangkok airport at 9pm, Singapore time. However, just when we were about to board the plane, there was a thunderstorm. The rain was heavy and thunder could be seen and heard many times. As we boarded the plane, we were all very anxious. Within minutes, the pilot announced that due to security reasons, the plane could not take off. Pastor Tat Leong began to call Trinitarians to pray since we had experienced breakthrough during the church camp. At 10pm, the pilot was finally given the clearance to load the baggages to the plane. This meant that we could be flying within minutes. However, after the baggages were put into the plane, the rain started to fall heavily again. But the pilot took a great risk to take off.
As the plane flew to higher grounds, something happened. It was like minutes before the plane took off, I began to see huge white clouds flying around the plane. In my heart, I exclaimed, 'Oh no'. The ironical part was when mom said that we would be going home, a voice said to me that we would be going back to heaven's home. That's where I said no, not time yet. I'm not sure whether it was God's saying this or the devil trying to weaken my faith. Then within seconds, the plane shook. At first, it just shook slightly but as it flew to higher heights, it shook so greatly that the plane dropped twice. Some screamed, some exclaimed that we were like sitting in a roller coaster. But what I heard too was God telling His people to pray and trust Him. Finally, God gave insight to the pilot to fly the plane at a lower height. The height was so low that I could see the lights below us. Throughout the journey, we experienced a few more turbulences but it was not as great as the one which we had experienced during take off.
Finally, we arrived at Singapore one and a half hour later than scheduled. Everyone was just relieved. In fact, Melissa told me that she was so frightened that she screamed and prayed at the same time.
Reflections: sometimes, during such incidences and events that are beyond my control, it is very easy to trust in logic than in God. However, through this eventful experiences, I know and affirm that the God whom I trust can bring me through whatever circumstances. He will never leave me nor forsake me. Where He leads me, I will follow. Lord, I give myself to You again. I am nothing and I have nothing. Everything I own in this world belongs to You. Where You lead me, Lord I will follow. Let my faith and focus always be in You. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Excitment!
Today, news about Ps Gerald Tan leaving TCC has been confirmed. He would be Senior Pastor of Calvary Assembly of God church next week. Though it was hard to let him and his whole family go, I believe that it is for the extension of Your Kingdom that needs him to move on.
In 2 weeks' time, the church camp will be here. I am excited about it and at the same time, I am expecting something. What that is, I am not sure. Something inside me seems to be asking me to expect something. So Lord, I pray that You will help me to understand what You want me to expect. May Your will be done.
I thank You for all the good things that You have blessed me with. May I never take it for granted. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
In 2 weeks' time, the church camp will be here. I am excited about it and at the same time, I am expecting something. What that is, I am not sure. Something inside me seems to be asking me to expect something. So Lord, I pray that You will help me to understand what You want me to expect. May Your will be done.
I thank You for all the good things that You have blessed me with. May I never take it for granted. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
First acupuncture and cupping experience
Today, I had my first experience of doing acupuncture and cupping.
Why I did that? Simple, I had been thinking of trying to improve my blood circulation. However, it was to no avail. It is very frustrating. Then I thought of TCM. I tried before in Ma Guang. However, after a while, the effects of the medicines worn off. So to try something new, I thought that maybe going to the shop at my place downstairs would be good. Afterall, if the physician did not do a good job, I can easily go to his shop and complain. Plus, I do not have to spend on transport. So there, I went this morning after taking urgent leave.
The physician advised me to have acupuncture, followed by massage. So I tried. According to what the physician shown my mom who was with me, I had one leg shorter than the other due to the heavy things I carried on one of my shoulders. Plus, I had very stiff muscles on my left side of the body, thereby causing migrane on that area most of the time.
How the experience was like: First, I was asked to lay on a massage bed, facing down. Then I heard plastic bags being torn. The physician told me to relax so that there would not be so much pain when the needles were inserted. I actually did not know that he had started poking me until I left a slight pain on my right neck. Then slowly, the needles were poked onto my body and legs. After that, there was a light sending warmness to my body. I had to lay on my front for about 15 minutes. Then the needles were taken off me and the physician began to massage my body. He also did a few cupping. He told me that there were red marks on my body, showing that I was always very tired. After that, I paid for a discounted price for the session.
Whether this will remove my migrane, I am not sure. I have to go back again to do the whole process. But I must say that after I have done this, I feel sleepy now. But it was a good experience. At least, I do not see the needles, or else I may faint or get scared.
Hopefully, God, this is the physician You have sent to me to heal me of my migrane, giddiness and tightness in my shoulder area. I also want to go for shoulder massage. So Lord, please help me to keep track of my finances and not go overboard with it. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Frustration!
Beginning of this year, when I went back to work, things started to pile up and I found to my horror that certain things were not done correctly. But I kept telling myself that I should be more tolerant. I must train on my EQ.
Then today, frustration came back again. At 9:30am, I told my colleague to start the program as it was getting late. She simply did not follow instructions. At 9:40am, I went ahead to do the things I asked her to do. Then during news update, as usual, she would start talking to volunteers and not paying attention or give due respect to the one speaking. So I continued with my programs and told myself to keep cool.
Then during news update, she was talking to one volunteer about the sending of items which I assigned her to do this afternoon. She called me and told me that since some of the elderly were there, she would pass the items to them. At that remark, I told her iterally, ' Do you know what is the meaning of sending the items to the elderly's house?'
During the announcements, as I need recycled papers, I told her to bring me some. She was at the office for quite some time which I found it very puzzling. So I went in. To my horror, she was opening the cabinet where the files were and asked me where the papers were. I told her off! I showed her the place where the papers were and told her that I had shown her where they were put when she asked me on Wednesday.
Then when we were going to have birthday celebrations, I told her to do the necessary by opening the cake and announcing the elderly's names. When she called the elderly's name, she just told the elderly to stand to the front without specifying where. In the end, my boss had to do the showing of way to the elderly.
When I thought that everything was over, I realized that she did not send the items to all the elderly. She came back with the volunteers at 4pm and there was still time to send the other 6 packs to the elderly who were staying opposite our centre. So after my meeting, I did the sending. When she saw my boss, she asked whether she was needed to go with me. I just told her, 'No need'.
Sometimes, I really felt that she did things based on what she thought it was instead of following instructions. I tried to write the instructions by sending one instruction in one sentence and still she could do them wrongly.
Lord, how to work with her? Please show me. I am really up to my neck with so many things to do. Instead of helping me to do the assigned things, she created more work for me. Lord, how? She even keep so many things that are unnecessary. Lord, please teach me how to work with her?
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Monday, October 04, 2010
Death
In life, when there is life somewhere, there is death somewhere as well. It is not something new but a everyday thing that happens around the world.
On last Saturday, 2 October 2010, our Mother of Singapore, Mrs Lee Kuan Yew, passed away peacefully at home. By her side was her daughter. MM Lee was hospitalized due to chest infection and could not be with her when she breathed her last. As Singapore mourns for this wonderful lady, some other feelings welled up in me.
This morning, I received a call from Elsie, one of our elderly and was told that her grandson had passed away. She was very sad. As I listened to her cries, my heart melt. I said a prayer for her and hope that God would grant her comfort and grant her the strength that she needed.
Some days later, it will be Danny Chan's death anniversary. Will people around the world still remember him or will everyone be so busy with some other stars that they will forget him? For me, though I am not his fan till now, I must say that his voice is really special. If I am out of love, besides Jeff Chang, I believe Danny Chan will be a better choice to listen to so that cries of sorrow and anger will be vented out.
Today, as I saw Danny Chan's music videos, once again I am being reminded not to be a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist has its pros and cons but this mountain must be rid of in order for God to do the work in me. There are forever negative things being thrown right at my face, remarks that people have been hurling at me and I am just afraid of falling trap in my own room. Lord, please help me. There is only You to help me. Maybe those borned in the month of September are not only a fair person but a responsible person and a perfectionist.
Lord, please help me to go through life with You every day. As negative remarks and things are being hurled at me, I renounce them in Jesus' Name. Let not those things that they said affect me or hinder my growth in You.
Thank You, Lord.
On last Saturday, 2 October 2010, our Mother of Singapore, Mrs Lee Kuan Yew, passed away peacefully at home. By her side was her daughter. MM Lee was hospitalized due to chest infection and could not be with her when she breathed her last. As Singapore mourns for this wonderful lady, some other feelings welled up in me.
This morning, I received a call from Elsie, one of our elderly and was told that her grandson had passed away. She was very sad. As I listened to her cries, my heart melt. I said a prayer for her and hope that God would grant her comfort and grant her the strength that she needed.
Some days later, it will be Danny Chan's death anniversary. Will people around the world still remember him or will everyone be so busy with some other stars that they will forget him? For me, though I am not his fan till now, I must say that his voice is really special. If I am out of love, besides Jeff Chang, I believe Danny Chan will be a better choice to listen to so that cries of sorrow and anger will be vented out.
Today, as I saw Danny Chan's music videos, once again I am being reminded not to be a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist has its pros and cons but this mountain must be rid of in order for God to do the work in me. There are forever negative things being thrown right at my face, remarks that people have been hurling at me and I am just afraid of falling trap in my own room. Lord, please help me. There is only You to help me. Maybe those borned in the month of September are not only a fair person but a responsible person and a perfectionist.
Lord, please help me to go through life with You every day. As negative remarks and things are being hurled at me, I renounce them in Jesus' Name. Let not those things that they said affect me or hinder my growth in You.
Thank You, Lord.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Danny Chan
These few days, I have been listening to Danny Chan's songs. It might come as a surprise but I did not know that Pian Pian Hei Fuan Li was sung by him. The first time when I heard this song, it was sung by Leslie Cheung.
Then after going through his songs, I found it strange that such a young man, with promising future, actually suffered from depression. He sacrificed his studies in Sec 4 to pursue his interest in music. Then he began a journey of fame and song compositions. In fact, I found him to be very talented. The songs that he composed were very down-to-earth and mostly sad. However, I must say that they are very touching. Like 'Having you'.
As I viewed more of his videos and interviews in Youtube, I realized that his depression was quite serious. He was a perfectionist. He wanted everything to be perfect, if not, he would not even start anything. Like his fashion shop. In one interview, his fan asked him when he would open it, but he said that he would take time to open it as he did not want to rush things through. With this perfectionist character in him, he made himself unhappy. It is this obstacle that I think creates his low self-esteem. When his friends, Leslie Cheung and Alan Tam had more successes than him or so he thought, the pressure set in. He began to withdraw himself and then slowly lost the interest to compose songs. What is worse was he began to take alcohol to numb himself. In the end, he was found unconscious in his own home on 18 May 1992. During his unconscious state in hospital, one of the friends who was being interviewed mentioned that he was in a large hospital room filled with many well-wishes from fans. The only sound in the room was from the machine that kept him alive. When she told him to quickly wake up from his slumber and play, his eyeballs showed movement. To this, this friend said that she believed he wanted to wake up too but was unable to somehow. Whatever the reason, only God knows. Finally, on 25 Oct 1993, after being unconscious for 17 months, he passed away due to organs failure. He was only 35 years old when he passed away.
As I saw the videos and songs he sang in 1987, I think that maybe at that time, depression had already set in. His smile was very forceful and there were criticisms that he seemed unable to overcome. Being a perfectionist, I somehow understand how he must have felt. Did he think of getting help from God at that point in time? What he had was friends who cared for him, but what about him turning to God? Did it occur to him then? All these questions will only remain as questions unanswered.
His father even opened a memorial hall for people to go and visit. This hall contains not only his pictures from young, but also things that he used and clothes that he used to wear. The pain that his family members feel will always remain but God can heal them. A legend has passed on. His songs will forever remain in the hearts of those who appreciate him.
God, I may not have know the family members of Danny Chan. But I pray that Your strength to be with them. Let them come to know You and be comforted by You. The passing on of Danny is a pity to many but You have a greater plan for each one of them. Lord, be with them and help them understand that You are still in control. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Then after going through his songs, I found it strange that such a young man, with promising future, actually suffered from depression. He sacrificed his studies in Sec 4 to pursue his interest in music. Then he began a journey of fame and song compositions. In fact, I found him to be very talented. The songs that he composed were very down-to-earth and mostly sad. However, I must say that they are very touching. Like 'Having you'.
As I viewed more of his videos and interviews in Youtube, I realized that his depression was quite serious. He was a perfectionist. He wanted everything to be perfect, if not, he would not even start anything. Like his fashion shop. In one interview, his fan asked him when he would open it, but he said that he would take time to open it as he did not want to rush things through. With this perfectionist character in him, he made himself unhappy. It is this obstacle that I think creates his low self-esteem. When his friends, Leslie Cheung and Alan Tam had more successes than him or so he thought, the pressure set in. He began to withdraw himself and then slowly lost the interest to compose songs. What is worse was he began to take alcohol to numb himself. In the end, he was found unconscious in his own home on 18 May 1992. During his unconscious state in hospital, one of the friends who was being interviewed mentioned that he was in a large hospital room filled with many well-wishes from fans. The only sound in the room was from the machine that kept him alive. When she told him to quickly wake up from his slumber and play, his eyeballs showed movement. To this, this friend said that she believed he wanted to wake up too but was unable to somehow. Whatever the reason, only God knows. Finally, on 25 Oct 1993, after being unconscious for 17 months, he passed away due to organs failure. He was only 35 years old when he passed away.
As I saw the videos and songs he sang in 1987, I think that maybe at that time, depression had already set in. His smile was very forceful and there were criticisms that he seemed unable to overcome. Being a perfectionist, I somehow understand how he must have felt. Did he think of getting help from God at that point in time? What he had was friends who cared for him, but what about him turning to God? Did it occur to him then? All these questions will only remain as questions unanswered.
His father even opened a memorial hall for people to go and visit. This hall contains not only his pictures from young, but also things that he used and clothes that he used to wear. The pain that his family members feel will always remain but God can heal them. A legend has passed on. His songs will forever remain in the hearts of those who appreciate him.
God, I may not have know the family members of Danny Chan. But I pray that Your strength to be with them. Let them come to know You and be comforted by You. The passing on of Danny is a pity to many but You have a greater plan for each one of them. Lord, be with them and help them understand that You are still in control. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Feedback!
Dear God
Yesterday, my supervisor and I had our first session of supervision. I told him what I had been feeling after each outreach programme and he said that it was time for him to have a debrief after each outreach.
Then the bomb came. He mentioned that I had a weak spiritual life. That could lead me not being able to see, feel or speak correctly. He cited so many incidences and told me that it was better to show grace to the elderly that we served rather than belittled them. I thought about this since yesterday and decided to search in Youtube the worship songs that I could relate to in this suitation. I still feel bad inside me. I want to have a better spiritual life. I know that I am not perfect Lord. Sometimes, I just feel that certain things can be done simplier but people complicate things.
I do not know why I am always the one being misunderstood. Maybe my spiritual life is really in a mess. Lord, thank you that You love me despite the mess. Help me to improve in my spiritual life. Help me to listen to You once again ever so dearly.
Here I am with all I have. I raise my hands to worship You. I want to say Thank You for who You are and how You have touched me. I pray that You can help me to have a deeper walk with You.
Nothing beats spending time with You Lord. Keep me in Your arms.
In Jesus' Name, I give thanks and commit myself to You, Amen.
Yesterday, my supervisor and I had our first session of supervision. I told him what I had been feeling after each outreach programme and he said that it was time for him to have a debrief after each outreach.
Then the bomb came. He mentioned that I had a weak spiritual life. That could lead me not being able to see, feel or speak correctly. He cited so many incidences and told me that it was better to show grace to the elderly that we served rather than belittled them. I thought about this since yesterday and decided to search in Youtube the worship songs that I could relate to in this suitation. I still feel bad inside me. I want to have a better spiritual life. I know that I am not perfect Lord. Sometimes, I just feel that certain things can be done simplier but people complicate things.
I do not know why I am always the one being misunderstood. Maybe my spiritual life is really in a mess. Lord, thank you that You love me despite the mess. Help me to improve in my spiritual life. Help me to listen to You once again ever so dearly.
Here I am with all I have. I raise my hands to worship You. I want to say Thank You for who You are and how You have touched me. I pray that You can help me to have a deeper walk with You.
Nothing beats spending time with You Lord. Keep me in Your arms.
In Jesus' Name, I give thanks and commit myself to You, Amen.
Monday, August 09, 2010
Disappointed!!!!
Today, bro and I went to buy a new vaccum cleaner. Well, the reason for buying this item is because I find that our house is getting dirtier and dirtier each day and no matter how we try to clean the dust, it just seems impossible. What is more frustrating is that after 5 minutes of sweeping the floor, I just find the floor very dusty. Maybe it is due to the construction of the circle line.
After buying the cleaner, when dad asked how much the item was, I told him that it was $799 and immediately he flared up. He said that he was so worried about his medical fee of $50 this month and yet I could spend so much money on a household item.
I find this very ridiculous and disappointed. When my family members have money, all they think of is themselves. They use the money for their own pleasure and when things in the house break down, they all turn to me and begin nagging at me when I tell me that I do not have money. Then when I buy something a bit more expensive for the family, they again say that I waste money on unnecessary things. How about them? When they have money, they can spend on cigarettes, alcohol, jewelleries, musical instruments, clothes, shoes, etc. Not that their clothes are torn or their shoes have spoilt. Then when I buy clothes or shoes once in a blue moon, I am being told that I am spending unwisely. Lord, I commit this kind of situation to You. I am really very tired and find it very ...........
After buying the cleaner, when dad asked how much the item was, I told him that it was $799 and immediately he flared up. He said that he was so worried about his medical fee of $50 this month and yet I could spend so much money on a household item.
I find this very ridiculous and disappointed. When my family members have money, all they think of is themselves. They use the money for their own pleasure and when things in the house break down, they all turn to me and begin nagging at me when I tell me that I do not have money. Then when I buy something a bit more expensive for the family, they again say that I waste money on unnecessary things. How about them? When they have money, they can spend on cigarettes, alcohol, jewelleries, musical instruments, clothes, shoes, etc. Not that their clothes are torn or their shoes have spoilt. Then when I buy clothes or shoes once in a blue moon, I am being told that I am spending unwisely. Lord, I commit this kind of situation to You. I am really very tired and find it very ...........
Friday, August 06, 2010
Movie 1: The Room by Media Evangelism
On Thursday, I spent the most of my time watching 2 movies from Media Evangelism.
The first is called The Room. It talks about the spiritual room that each of us has. In this spiritual room, it holds very intimate things which an individual does not share with anyone. It is a room where only that individual can access to. At the start of the movie, it showed a senior social worker persuading a teacher not to commit suicide. Everyone really envied the social worker's courage by stepping on broken glasses to prove that she understood what the teacher went through.
Then the different deadlines, the different expectations that the social worker had to face, the different negative comments by friends and colleagues and ultimately, the suicide of that teacher whom she had rescued previously took a toll on her. She began to withdraw herself more and more to this little spiritual room that she had. Even her boyfriend could not get to her. Slowly, she began to have the symptoms of a depressed person. She began to lose her sleep, she had no interest in doing things that she used to like and she began to shun people, even her boyfriend. Then one day, she decided to commit suicide. As she was standing at the ledge, she called the Life Line hotline. The counselor who took her call happened to be the one who witnessed how she rescued the teacher previously and found her courage commendable. As the counselor began to listen to the inner voices of God telling her what to do, she began to share with the social worker that God still loves us no matter what the past was like. Even though there were many tears in this world, we could still embrace it because we had God with us. At that, the social worker began to experience a peace that she never experienced in her heart before. She decided not to end her life because she believed that with God, she could live each day and embrace life bravely.
When I saw this movie, a few lessons came to mind.
1) Very often, we find people say that being a counselor/social worker/psychologist, when we face obstacles, we know how to solve it ourselves. We will not be depressed or suffer any depression. However, being in this line of work, it will have more stress that nobody can understand. As the client/beneficiary begins to tell you of their sad stories/problems, you will begin to think how to help them. Sometimes, you will feel discourage when things do not go the right way and questions begin to envelope. But what we need to remember is this: we must not let other people's problems become our problems. Easier said than done, but we can do it with God's help. We can pray to God about it, we can discuss with our seniors in this area. Sometimes, some psychologists, social workers and counselors are so prideful that they refuse to let anyone know what they are going through. In the end, they become depressed.
2) Each of us has a spiritual room. We will open this room and enter into it whenever we like. Most of the people enter the room without being able to exit from it. This cause them to have depression. It is like going around in circles and find that there is nothing you can do about the 'problems/issues' in life. But always remember that God is in control. What we cannot do, He can give us the strength to do.
3) Like the counselor when she was in training, she thought that she knew how to listen with her ears. However, she was too impatient. When the instructor asked the students to close their eyes and began to listen to their own voices, she had problem staying for long. We are like the counselor at times. We tell God that we know this area of expertise; it is simple and everyone can follow. However, when we really try, we find that we have a hard time listening to Him. Like what the instructor said, we must learn to listen to God in the morning to start our day, to listen to what others are saying in the afternoon and to listen to our inner voices in the evening. This will then teach us how to listen attentively.
May God help me to do so with discipline.
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
The first is called The Room. It talks about the spiritual room that each of us has. In this spiritual room, it holds very intimate things which an individual does not share with anyone. It is a room where only that individual can access to. At the start of the movie, it showed a senior social worker persuading a teacher not to commit suicide. Everyone really envied the social worker's courage by stepping on broken glasses to prove that she understood what the teacher went through.
Then the different deadlines, the different expectations that the social worker had to face, the different negative comments by friends and colleagues and ultimately, the suicide of that teacher whom she had rescued previously took a toll on her. She began to withdraw herself more and more to this little spiritual room that she had. Even her boyfriend could not get to her. Slowly, she began to have the symptoms of a depressed person. She began to lose her sleep, she had no interest in doing things that she used to like and she began to shun people, even her boyfriend. Then one day, she decided to commit suicide. As she was standing at the ledge, she called the Life Line hotline. The counselor who took her call happened to be the one who witnessed how she rescued the teacher previously and found her courage commendable. As the counselor began to listen to the inner voices of God telling her what to do, she began to share with the social worker that God still loves us no matter what the past was like. Even though there were many tears in this world, we could still embrace it because we had God with us. At that, the social worker began to experience a peace that she never experienced in her heart before. She decided not to end her life because she believed that with God, she could live each day and embrace life bravely.
When I saw this movie, a few lessons came to mind.
1) Very often, we find people say that being a counselor/social worker/psychologist, when we face obstacles, we know how to solve it ourselves. We will not be depressed or suffer any depression. However, being in this line of work, it will have more stress that nobody can understand. As the client/beneficiary begins to tell you of their sad stories/problems, you will begin to think how to help them. Sometimes, you will feel discourage when things do not go the right way and questions begin to envelope. But what we need to remember is this: we must not let other people's problems become our problems. Easier said than done, but we can do it with God's help. We can pray to God about it, we can discuss with our seniors in this area. Sometimes, some psychologists, social workers and counselors are so prideful that they refuse to let anyone know what they are going through. In the end, they become depressed.
2) Each of us has a spiritual room. We will open this room and enter into it whenever we like. Most of the people enter the room without being able to exit from it. This cause them to have depression. It is like going around in circles and find that there is nothing you can do about the 'problems/issues' in life. But always remember that God is in control. What we cannot do, He can give us the strength to do.
3) Like the counselor when she was in training, she thought that she knew how to listen with her ears. However, she was too impatient. When the instructor asked the students to close their eyes and began to listen to their own voices, she had problem staying for long. We are like the counselor at times. We tell God that we know this area of expertise; it is simple and everyone can follow. However, when we really try, we find that we have a hard time listening to Him. Like what the instructor said, we must learn to listen to God in the morning to start our day, to listen to what others are saying in the afternoon and to listen to our inner voices in the evening. This will then teach us how to listen attentively.
May God help me to do so with discipline.
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
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