Hi Lord
Today, I've decided to keep you posted of every things that happen to me every day by writing to you daily. So, let me share with you what happened today.
This morning, there was a call in the morning. Mr Teo called to say that he would not be going to SAC because he had no strength at all. Then he mentioned that he would most likely go to hospital. At first, I thought his daughter would be bringing him there. But he said he would be calling ambulance to go on his own. When I heard that, I was very sadden. I could hear his tears in his voice. Lord, I don't know what happened to him. But I pray that You would keep him in Your arms.
Then I helped WAL to fill up form for the application of enhanced PCPS. As more information was needed, I went to her unit to gather more things. At the same time, I went to see another elderly and asked why he decided to stop the delivery of lunch. Though not much was said, I could sense that someone could have told him something. So I encouraged him to accept the lunch sponsored by CW. He agreed. That would have helped him to save some money.
When the activities started, Jess was teaching the elderly to do craft work. I did not know how to do so I went around. Also, ET & FC were doing the medical checks. So I went to see how they were doing. To my amazement, JP did not arrange the files according to the number that was given out by her. So I went downstairs with the files and sort them up, before taking them to them again.
FC was a great help. After he had done the recording, he would help to keep the files. May God bless his humble heart. He was so willing to do so many things, just to show that because he has been blessed, he will bless others.
In the afternoon, I went to that same elderly's home again. This time round, his wife was sitting in a sofa, but in a very weak situation. His daughter and son-in-law were also there. I gave the rice, underpants and body wash to him. According to him, he has to spend almost more than $200 to buy these items every month. May God help them in their finances. Also, I pray that there will be more sponsors or donations for this so that we can help to ease their burden as well.
Then I went to TCT's house. She had a laptop from her son. So I showed her how to use it and after that, told her how to do the new cross stitch. She was very excited.
Though some unhappy things have made the relationship between TCT, SL, THL and YSH, I pray that God, You will reveal the truth to them and may they reconcile.
I commit these people unto Your hands. I pray that tomorrow, I will wake up early to go to service and also to Chinatown for window shopping. May You help me not to overspend my budget.
Thank you and may Your peace be with my family members.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Sleepy Day
Today, I had taken urgent leave. Was feeling very sleepy in the morning that my mind could only think of sleep. Lord, please let this be the last time for me to act this way. It's not glorifying You with this action of mine.
Many things have happened over the last few days. Some things really surprised me. First, it was S who told me about the struggles she faced at home. Then she told me that she had to go for operation for her kidney stones. After that, E told me that she resigned from her job again. She wanted to know how to hear from God correctly. She said that sometimes she could not understand why God opened a door but the situation became tough for her after some time. It was only just now when I heard K Love who talked about a door being opened. When God opens a door, He does not guarantee that it will be an easy route. In fact, most of the time, it is a difficult one, especially when we have not fully surrender ourselves to Him. So God uses the situation, the people around us to mould us. When I think about the work that He puts me in and the colleagues, I find this to be true but hard to follow. When I am in situation that I feel is frustrating because no body is lifting a finger to help or draw so many boundary lines, it is hard to know that God is trying to mould me. I get frustrated most of the time even though I try to hand the situation to God's hands. Lord, teach me Your ways. I know that with my own abilities, this is a limit to what I can do. With You helping me, I can do much more imaginable. Just like the crochet work that You showed me. Lord, let me have faith when faith seems weak. Let Your presence be more real to me in such situation. Lord, I need You every second, minute and hour of my life. Help me Lord.
Many things have happened over the last few days. Some things really surprised me. First, it was S who told me about the struggles she faced at home. Then she told me that she had to go for operation for her kidney stones. After that, E told me that she resigned from her job again. She wanted to know how to hear from God correctly. She said that sometimes she could not understand why God opened a door but the situation became tough for her after some time. It was only just now when I heard K Love who talked about a door being opened. When God opens a door, He does not guarantee that it will be an easy route. In fact, most of the time, it is a difficult one, especially when we have not fully surrender ourselves to Him. So God uses the situation, the people around us to mould us. When I think about the work that He puts me in and the colleagues, I find this to be true but hard to follow. When I am in situation that I feel is frustrating because no body is lifting a finger to help or draw so many boundary lines, it is hard to know that God is trying to mould me. I get frustrated most of the time even though I try to hand the situation to God's hands. Lord, teach me Your ways. I know that with my own abilities, this is a limit to what I can do. With You helping me, I can do much more imaginable. Just like the crochet work that You showed me. Lord, let me have faith when faith seems weak. Let Your presence be more real to me in such situation. Lord, I need You every second, minute and hour of my life. Help me Lord.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Down by 2
This month, I encountered 2 persons who had passed away. They left quite a deep impression on me.
1) Serene Lee Ying: She is my cousin from my eldest auntie. At age 57, she died of cancer. Her death came quite a shock. First, we were told that she had lost all her hair and had gone to Beijing 101 for treatment. The next thing we knew, she was admitted to hospital due to breathlessness while attending serivce. While in hospital, 2nd auntie and mom went to visit her. They realized that she was very blotted. However, Wendy assured them that there was nothing wrong with her. Then one day later, her death news came. It was only on her funeral service that we came to know that she had died of cancer. What was surprising to us was the Pastor in her church knew about her condition much earlier than ours.
2) David Tan Chow Heng: He was one of the elderly in our SAC. Though he had registered with us since 2009, he did not join our activities. It was only March 2011 that he came to our SAC requesting for financial assistance. At first, I thought that he might be one of those elderly who claimed that they were very poor and just wanted the easy way out for help. But as I went to his house to do a further interview with him, I realized that I was wrong. Here was a man, with little to spend and had to slog to have some money for food. This is often taken granted of by many people. He told me that when he was much younger, he had his taste of folly by committing adultery and did not take care of his children. When he broke up with his mistress in Malaysia, his children refused to have anything to do with him. This was especially so when his wife passed away. Only his daughter managed to forgive him as years passed by. He knew in his heart that what he did was wrong and there was no way to make amendments. So I tried to apply financial aid for him via the welfare fund. Thank God that the welfare fund helped him paid up one of his arrears in Town Council. But he still had problems meeting the other arrears. His god-daughter from Malaysia (from his ex-mistress' daughter) would come to Singapore once a while to help him pay off his arrears. However, he did not mind. He woke up every day to go to Geyland Serai to sell his barang barang. When the Town Council there threw his things away while he was in hospital, his loses were great. But he did not give up. Instead, he told me that he would slowly regain his barang barang business back. His health by then had taken a toll and he needed a pacemaker for his heart condition. He was worried about the cost, but I told him to look for the social welfare officer in TTSH who definitely could help him. After the pacemaker was implanted in his heart, he felt itchness and sometimes breathlessness. Though we had helped him financially and in whatever way we could, he did not take things for granted. He thought one colleague and many elderly how to make paper butterflies. Many elderly felt that he was so talented, being able to make sure of recycled items to make something so beautiful. Not only that, he made a good friend, Robert Wang at the SAC. Both of them were always sitting side by side, enncouraging each other. When he was admitted to hospital on 11 Nov, he took the trouble to call us and inform us that he would be absent from the activities at SAC. This was how responsible he was. However, that was the last I heard from him. When volunteer, Eric told me that he was discharged on Saturday, I was quite puzzled as to why he did not call to 'take leave' from SAC. So in that Saturday afternoon, Maikal went to visit him but there was no one at home. Today, I called him twice on his handphone to remind him of the outing tomorrow. However, the line was engaged. I remembered that the 2nd time I tried calling him, a voice spoke to me that he had passed away. But I was thinking, 'Impossible! He did not have any major illness. Morever, Eric checked with the nurse in TTSH and confirmed that he was discharged.' When I told Maikal that David's handphone line was still engaged, he called TTSH and confirmed that he had passed away on 15 Nov.
It was sad to see him leaving this world. But then I know that he will be happier with God now. Though our meet-up was only a few months, yet he left a very deep impression on me. This is the uncle which I will definitely miss, especially when I go to Merpati the next time round.
Uncle David, may you rest safely and peacefully in God's hands now. See you in heaven.
1) Serene Lee Ying: She is my cousin from my eldest auntie. At age 57, she died of cancer. Her death came quite a shock. First, we were told that she had lost all her hair and had gone to Beijing 101 for treatment. The next thing we knew, she was admitted to hospital due to breathlessness while attending serivce. While in hospital, 2nd auntie and mom went to visit her. They realized that she was very blotted. However, Wendy assured them that there was nothing wrong with her. Then one day later, her death news came. It was only on her funeral service that we came to know that she had died of cancer. What was surprising to us was the Pastor in her church knew about her condition much earlier than ours.
2) David Tan Chow Heng: He was one of the elderly in our SAC. Though he had registered with us since 2009, he did not join our activities. It was only March 2011 that he came to our SAC requesting for financial assistance. At first, I thought that he might be one of those elderly who claimed that they were very poor and just wanted the easy way out for help. But as I went to his house to do a further interview with him, I realized that I was wrong. Here was a man, with little to spend and had to slog to have some money for food. This is often taken granted of by many people. He told me that when he was much younger, he had his taste of folly by committing adultery and did not take care of his children. When he broke up with his mistress in Malaysia, his children refused to have anything to do with him. This was especially so when his wife passed away. Only his daughter managed to forgive him as years passed by. He knew in his heart that what he did was wrong and there was no way to make amendments. So I tried to apply financial aid for him via the welfare fund. Thank God that the welfare fund helped him paid up one of his arrears in Town Council. But he still had problems meeting the other arrears. His god-daughter from Malaysia (from his ex-mistress' daughter) would come to Singapore once a while to help him pay off his arrears. However, he did not mind. He woke up every day to go to Geyland Serai to sell his barang barang. When the Town Council there threw his things away while he was in hospital, his loses were great. But he did not give up. Instead, he told me that he would slowly regain his barang barang business back. His health by then had taken a toll and he needed a pacemaker for his heart condition. He was worried about the cost, but I told him to look for the social welfare officer in TTSH who definitely could help him. After the pacemaker was implanted in his heart, he felt itchness and sometimes breathlessness. Though we had helped him financially and in whatever way we could, he did not take things for granted. He thought one colleague and many elderly how to make paper butterflies. Many elderly felt that he was so talented, being able to make sure of recycled items to make something so beautiful. Not only that, he made a good friend, Robert Wang at the SAC. Both of them were always sitting side by side, enncouraging each other. When he was admitted to hospital on 11 Nov, he took the trouble to call us and inform us that he would be absent from the activities at SAC. This was how responsible he was. However, that was the last I heard from him. When volunteer, Eric told me that he was discharged on Saturday, I was quite puzzled as to why he did not call to 'take leave' from SAC. So in that Saturday afternoon, Maikal went to visit him but there was no one at home. Today, I called him twice on his handphone to remind him of the outing tomorrow. However, the line was engaged. I remembered that the 2nd time I tried calling him, a voice spoke to me that he had passed away. But I was thinking, 'Impossible! He did not have any major illness. Morever, Eric checked with the nurse in TTSH and confirmed that he was discharged.' When I told Maikal that David's handphone line was still engaged, he called TTSH and confirmed that he had passed away on 15 Nov.
It was sad to see him leaving this world. But then I know that he will be happier with God now. Though our meet-up was only a few months, yet he left a very deep impression on me. This is the uncle which I will definitely miss, especially when I go to Merpati the next time round.
Uncle David, may you rest safely and peacefully in God's hands now. See you in heaven.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Logbook 15 Jul 2011
Dear Lord
Today began with much frustrations in my heart. In the morning when I woke up, I could not help but kept feeling frustrated. Did not know why.
When I reached office, I was surprised to see Maikal. He was supposed to be on full day OIL but he came in the morning. Then before our activities began, I went to the multi-media room and was shocked to see the dirty floor. I asked Jess whether she checked the cleanliness of the centre before letting Chik Yee went home. She said she did. So I asked her why she did not notice the dirtiness in the room. She just said that Maikal did scold him yesterday. Sigh!
Then came the time for activities. After Andrea shared the news, I did the announcements. At first, I was thinking of letting Jess do it but felt that I should do it instead. As I mentioned about the lunch on Wednesday, 20 July 2011, there were only 11 elderly who wanted to go. Then Andrea asked Jess what would happen to her Current Affairs since the elderly might be having the lunch sponsored by a temple. Jess looked very blur and said that they could do it first after their lunch. Apparently, she did not even notice that the lunch time coincide with her activity. Then Maikal halted us and asked how many elderly were needed for this lunch. I told him that Lye Chee had reserved 20 seats for our elderly, it was organized by a temple and the food would be vegetarian. Maikal was shocked that the sponsored lunch was from a temple and mentioned that he did not know that. So I asked Jess what was conveyed to Maikal. She said, 'Yea, I told you, Maikal, that it was from non-Christian organization'. Immediately, Maikal's and my reaction were: 'You should mentioned it was from a temple'. So Maikal disapproved of this and the invitation was canceled.
During our Chinese strokes session, I did a blessed draw with the elderly. The 4 gifts were supposed to be for the whole assembly of elderly today. But I was very pissed with Pech Ying and Phee Chin. First, Pech Ying wanted to change the elderly's t shirt because it was too long for her. But I told her that she should not look at the length but the size. But she insisted on changing to smaller size. So I told her to hold on first. Then she approached Andrea and requested the same thing. Andrea showed her a L-size and the length was about the same. So she kept the original size. Then Phee Chin mentioned that she did not know whether she could wear the t shirt. Andrea told her that it was measured according to her size. At that, I was so pissed that I commented that even if we gave free things to you, you would not appreciate it and kept making noises. So I withdrew the 4 gifts from them and let those who are studying since they made the effort every week to come for lessons.
Then in the afternoon, after lunch, Lye Chee came to ask about the lunch. So I told her that Maikal had disapproved it. Lye Chee was so mad that she stormed off. But she called me at night and asked for the reason. I told her that Maikal said that since it was from temple, we should not offer to the elderly. But I told her that I was following instructions.
Sometimes I wonder which angle we are looking at when people offer things to the elderly via our company. Like in this case, the temple is giving free food to the elderly. They are not promoting anything. Just lunch and goodie bags without offering to their idols. While I understand that Maikal may be afraid that it would cause confusion to the elderly, I feel that maybe giving the elderly a chance to choose may be better.
Whatever it is, I hope that this incident will not send a wrong message to the elderly.
Lord, tomorrow, as we are going to Jurong Central Park, I pray for good weather, Your protection upon each of us and a great time doing the pinwheel and other activities. Even for the sharing by me to the home visits team in the afternoon, I pray for Your presence to be with me as I speak forth what is required.
In Jesus' name I commit all these to, Amen.
Today began with much frustrations in my heart. In the morning when I woke up, I could not help but kept feeling frustrated. Did not know why.
When I reached office, I was surprised to see Maikal. He was supposed to be on full day OIL but he came in the morning. Then before our activities began, I went to the multi-media room and was shocked to see the dirty floor. I asked Jess whether she checked the cleanliness of the centre before letting Chik Yee went home. She said she did. So I asked her why she did not notice the dirtiness in the room. She just said that Maikal did scold him yesterday. Sigh!
Then came the time for activities. After Andrea shared the news, I did the announcements. At first, I was thinking of letting Jess do it but felt that I should do it instead. As I mentioned about the lunch on Wednesday, 20 July 2011, there were only 11 elderly who wanted to go. Then Andrea asked Jess what would happen to her Current Affairs since the elderly might be having the lunch sponsored by a temple. Jess looked very blur and said that they could do it first after their lunch. Apparently, she did not even notice that the lunch time coincide with her activity. Then Maikal halted us and asked how many elderly were needed for this lunch. I told him that Lye Chee had reserved 20 seats for our elderly, it was organized by a temple and the food would be vegetarian. Maikal was shocked that the sponsored lunch was from a temple and mentioned that he did not know that. So I asked Jess what was conveyed to Maikal. She said, 'Yea, I told you, Maikal, that it was from non-Christian organization'. Immediately, Maikal's and my reaction were: 'You should mentioned it was from a temple'. So Maikal disapproved of this and the invitation was canceled.
During our Chinese strokes session, I did a blessed draw with the elderly. The 4 gifts were supposed to be for the whole assembly of elderly today. But I was very pissed with Pech Ying and Phee Chin. First, Pech Ying wanted to change the elderly's t shirt because it was too long for her. But I told her that she should not look at the length but the size. But she insisted on changing to smaller size. So I told her to hold on first. Then she approached Andrea and requested the same thing. Andrea showed her a L-size and the length was about the same. So she kept the original size. Then Phee Chin mentioned that she did not know whether she could wear the t shirt. Andrea told her that it was measured according to her size. At that, I was so pissed that I commented that even if we gave free things to you, you would not appreciate it and kept making noises. So I withdrew the 4 gifts from them and let those who are studying since they made the effort every week to come for lessons.
Then in the afternoon, after lunch, Lye Chee came to ask about the lunch. So I told her that Maikal had disapproved it. Lye Chee was so mad that she stormed off. But she called me at night and asked for the reason. I told her that Maikal said that since it was from temple, we should not offer to the elderly. But I told her that I was following instructions.
Sometimes I wonder which angle we are looking at when people offer things to the elderly via our company. Like in this case, the temple is giving free food to the elderly. They are not promoting anything. Just lunch and goodie bags without offering to their idols. While I understand that Maikal may be afraid that it would cause confusion to the elderly, I feel that maybe giving the elderly a chance to choose may be better.
Whatever it is, I hope that this incident will not send a wrong message to the elderly.
Lord, tomorrow, as we are going to Jurong Central Park, I pray for good weather, Your protection upon each of us and a great time doing the pinwheel and other activities. Even for the sharing by me to the home visits team in the afternoon, I pray for Your presence to be with me as I speak forth what is required.
In Jesus' name I commit all these to, Amen.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Logbook on 13 July 2011
Dear Lord
Yesterday was an eventful day. I thank God for all that had happened.
1) Early in the morning, I went to office, wanting to adjust the upstairs air-con controller. However, there were too many brand codes to choose from. So I had asked Jess to give me the instruction sheets which I had asked her to keep. But she could not find it and said that I should be the one holding them. So I left it as it is.
2) Then we had meeting with Maikal. He asked me about the outing for this Saturday, next Tuesday and 30 July 2011. All have been confirmed except for 30 July 2011. As we need to arrive very early on Saturday, I told him that we need to be early on 30 July 2011 as well. He advised us to look out for the meals on Tuesday before committing on whether we want to have another meals there in August.
3) He also mentioned about the corporate t shirts for volunteers and staff. As a rule, we should not be giving volunteers who are on ad-hoc basis the t shirts since they come once in a blue moon. Also, they should not be given the zip t shirts as that were reserved for staff only. If volunteers forgot to wear the corporate t shirts for any events, they should not be given another one but to wear the volunteer's tag.
4) Next, we mentioned about the craft session. According to Jess, she could not find her second IC. But she would still look. Also, I informed Maikal that Trindy had decided to try out CareHut because someone had told her that Elderly department had too many volunteers.
5) In the afternoon, I went to visit Janap to give her the rations. But she was not in. So I went to see Achutan to inform him of his changed appointment.
6) After that, I was having some free time where I checked my personal email and also played Gardens of Time.
7) At 6:45pm, I went for dinner and waited for Eric to do our night home visits.
8) At 7pm, we started our home visits. I thank You for the open doors which You had shown us. The willingness of the elderly and residents to talk to us really warmed my heart. One elderly even wanted to give us drinks. May You bless this elderly's heart and that he and his wife will come to SAC to register for the activities.
9) When I came home, I was still wide awake. So I listened to my portable media and played some more games.
Thank God for the time of relaxing. May You continue to open doors for me to share Christ with the elderly and residents in Merpati.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Yesterday was an eventful day. I thank God for all that had happened.
1) Early in the morning, I went to office, wanting to adjust the upstairs air-con controller. However, there were too many brand codes to choose from. So I had asked Jess to give me the instruction sheets which I had asked her to keep. But she could not find it and said that I should be the one holding them. So I left it as it is.
2) Then we had meeting with Maikal. He asked me about the outing for this Saturday, next Tuesday and 30 July 2011. All have been confirmed except for 30 July 2011. As we need to arrive very early on Saturday, I told him that we need to be early on 30 July 2011 as well. He advised us to look out for the meals on Tuesday before committing on whether we want to have another meals there in August.
3) He also mentioned about the corporate t shirts for volunteers and staff. As a rule, we should not be giving volunteers who are on ad-hoc basis the t shirts since they come once in a blue moon. Also, they should not be given the zip t shirts as that were reserved for staff only. If volunteers forgot to wear the corporate t shirts for any events, they should not be given another one but to wear the volunteer's tag.
4) Next, we mentioned about the craft session. According to Jess, she could not find her second IC. But she would still look. Also, I informed Maikal that Trindy had decided to try out CareHut because someone had told her that Elderly department had too many volunteers.
5) In the afternoon, I went to visit Janap to give her the rations. But she was not in. So I went to see Achutan to inform him of his changed appointment.
6) After that, I was having some free time where I checked my personal email and also played Gardens of Time.
7) At 6:45pm, I went for dinner and waited for Eric to do our night home visits.
8) At 7pm, we started our home visits. I thank You for the open doors which You had shown us. The willingness of the elderly and residents to talk to us really warmed my heart. One elderly even wanted to give us drinks. May You bless this elderly's heart and that he and his wife will come to SAC to register for the activities.
9) When I came home, I was still wide awake. So I listened to my portable media and played some more games.
Thank God for the time of relaxing. May You continue to open doors for me to share Christ with the elderly and residents in Merpati.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Reflections on Church Camp 2011
On 6 June 2011, a group of Trinitarians boarded the plane to Bangkok then headed by coaches to Pattaya. It was my 2nd church camp. We arrived safely with no hiccups.
The first day was quite relaxing. The hotel was not very facinating but I thought it was God's word that was more important. That got me wrong on that day. Before we headed for dinner, we decided to take a bath first. Afterall, we had a long day, waking up so early in the morning. Then the nightmare began. Mom was the last one to have her bath. When she had finished, suddenly there was a loud sound on the bathroom door. I thought that maybe she could not open the door. However, she fell down due to the wet floor. We were not sure how the wet floor came about. As we were strolling to the dining area, we heard from several Trinitarians that they were upgrading their rooms to the Ocean wing. So we decided to do the same. There was a long queue and the staff there did not seem to be able to handle the things well. Finally, we had the new room key. After dinner and before service time, we packed our things and headed to the new room. Though it was not the best room, it was at least better than the previous one.
The first service started with Pastor Dominic giving us some headstart on what to expect for the next few days. The committee were also very patient with us. After our first night, we were totally tired. We just headed straight to bed.
The next day's activities were also jam-packed. But the morning sessions were filled with God's presence. The sermons being preached were very down-to-earth and really asked us to experience a breakthrough. The rest of the camp was just so relaxing and refreshing. I could really hear God speaking to so many people. Never did I know that on the day of leaving Thailand was the day where our faith was being tested.
On 9 June 2011, we were supposed to take a flight from Bangkok airport at 9pm, Singapore time. However, just when we were about to board the plane, there was a thunderstorm. The rain was heavy and thunder could be seen and heard many times. As we boarded the plane, we were all very anxious. Within minutes, the pilot announced that due to security reasons, the plane could not take off. Pastor Tat Leong began to call Trinitarians to pray since we had experienced breakthrough during the church camp. At 10pm, the pilot was finally given the clearance to load the baggages to the plane. This meant that we could be flying within minutes. However, after the baggages were put into the plane, the rain started to fall heavily again. But the pilot took a great risk to take off.
As the plane flew to higher grounds, something happened. It was like minutes before the plane took off, I began to see huge white clouds flying around the plane. In my heart, I exclaimed, 'Oh no'. The ironical part was when mom said that we would be going home, a voice said to me that we would be going back to heaven's home. That's where I said no, not time yet. I'm not sure whether it was God's saying this or the devil trying to weaken my faith. Then within seconds, the plane shook. At first, it just shook slightly but as it flew to higher heights, it shook so greatly that the plane dropped twice. Some screamed, some exclaimed that we were like sitting in a roller coaster. But what I heard too was God telling His people to pray and trust Him. Finally, God gave insight to the pilot to fly the plane at a lower height. The height was so low that I could see the lights below us. Throughout the journey, we experienced a few more turbulences but it was not as great as the one which we had experienced during take off.
Finally, we arrived at Singapore one and a half hour later than scheduled. Everyone was just relieved. In fact, Melissa told me that she was so frightened that she screamed and prayed at the same time.
Reflections: sometimes, during such incidences and events that are beyond my control, it is very easy to trust in logic than in God. However, through this eventful experiences, I know and affirm that the God whom I trust can bring me through whatever circumstances. He will never leave me nor forsake me. Where He leads me, I will follow. Lord, I give myself to You again. I am nothing and I have nothing. Everything I own in this world belongs to You. Where You lead me, Lord I will follow. Let my faith and focus always be in You. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Excitment!
Today, news about Ps Gerald Tan leaving TCC has been confirmed. He would be Senior Pastor of Calvary Assembly of God church next week. Though it was hard to let him and his whole family go, I believe that it is for the extension of Your Kingdom that needs him to move on.
In 2 weeks' time, the church camp will be here. I am excited about it and at the same time, I am expecting something. What that is, I am not sure. Something inside me seems to be asking me to expect something. So Lord, I pray that You will help me to understand what You want me to expect. May Your will be done.
I thank You for all the good things that You have blessed me with. May I never take it for granted. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
In 2 weeks' time, the church camp will be here. I am excited about it and at the same time, I am expecting something. What that is, I am not sure. Something inside me seems to be asking me to expect something. So Lord, I pray that You will help me to understand what You want me to expect. May Your will be done.
I thank You for all the good things that You have blessed me with. May I never take it for granted. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
First acupuncture and cupping experience
Today, I had my first experience of doing acupuncture and cupping.
Why I did that? Simple, I had been thinking of trying to improve my blood circulation. However, it was to no avail. It is very frustrating. Then I thought of TCM. I tried before in Ma Guang. However, after a while, the effects of the medicines worn off. So to try something new, I thought that maybe going to the shop at my place downstairs would be good. Afterall, if the physician did not do a good job, I can easily go to his shop and complain. Plus, I do not have to spend on transport. So there, I went this morning after taking urgent leave.
The physician advised me to have acupuncture, followed by massage. So I tried. According to what the physician shown my mom who was with me, I had one leg shorter than the other due to the heavy things I carried on one of my shoulders. Plus, I had very stiff muscles on my left side of the body, thereby causing migrane on that area most of the time.
How the experience was like: First, I was asked to lay on a massage bed, facing down. Then I heard plastic bags being torn. The physician told me to relax so that there would not be so much pain when the needles were inserted. I actually did not know that he had started poking me until I left a slight pain on my right neck. Then slowly, the needles were poked onto my body and legs. After that, there was a light sending warmness to my body. I had to lay on my front for about 15 minutes. Then the needles were taken off me and the physician began to massage my body. He also did a few cupping. He told me that there were red marks on my body, showing that I was always very tired. After that, I paid for a discounted price for the session.
Whether this will remove my migrane, I am not sure. I have to go back again to do the whole process. But I must say that after I have done this, I feel sleepy now. But it was a good experience. At least, I do not see the needles, or else I may faint or get scared.
Hopefully, God, this is the physician You have sent to me to heal me of my migrane, giddiness and tightness in my shoulder area. I also want to go for shoulder massage. So Lord, please help me to keep track of my finances and not go overboard with it. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Frustration!
Beginning of this year, when I went back to work, things started to pile up and I found to my horror that certain things were not done correctly. But I kept telling myself that I should be more tolerant. I must train on my EQ.
Then today, frustration came back again. At 9:30am, I told my colleague to start the program as it was getting late. She simply did not follow instructions. At 9:40am, I went ahead to do the things I asked her to do. Then during news update, as usual, she would start talking to volunteers and not paying attention or give due respect to the one speaking. So I continued with my programs and told myself to keep cool.
Then during news update, she was talking to one volunteer about the sending of items which I assigned her to do this afternoon. She called me and told me that since some of the elderly were there, she would pass the items to them. At that remark, I told her iterally, ' Do you know what is the meaning of sending the items to the elderly's house?'
During the announcements, as I need recycled papers, I told her to bring me some. She was at the office for quite some time which I found it very puzzling. So I went in. To my horror, she was opening the cabinet where the files were and asked me where the papers were. I told her off! I showed her the place where the papers were and told her that I had shown her where they were put when she asked me on Wednesday.
Then when we were going to have birthday celebrations, I told her to do the necessary by opening the cake and announcing the elderly's names. When she called the elderly's name, she just told the elderly to stand to the front without specifying where. In the end, my boss had to do the showing of way to the elderly.
When I thought that everything was over, I realized that she did not send the items to all the elderly. She came back with the volunteers at 4pm and there was still time to send the other 6 packs to the elderly who were staying opposite our centre. So after my meeting, I did the sending. When she saw my boss, she asked whether she was needed to go with me. I just told her, 'No need'.
Sometimes, I really felt that she did things based on what she thought it was instead of following instructions. I tried to write the instructions by sending one instruction in one sentence and still she could do them wrongly.
Lord, how to work with her? Please show me. I am really up to my neck with so many things to do. Instead of helping me to do the assigned things, she created more work for me. Lord, how? She even keep so many things that are unnecessary. Lord, please teach me how to work with her?
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Monday, October 04, 2010
Death
In life, when there is life somewhere, there is death somewhere as well. It is not something new but a everyday thing that happens around the world.
On last Saturday, 2 October 2010, our Mother of Singapore, Mrs Lee Kuan Yew, passed away peacefully at home. By her side was her daughter. MM Lee was hospitalized due to chest infection and could not be with her when she breathed her last. As Singapore mourns for this wonderful lady, some other feelings welled up in me.
This morning, I received a call from Elsie, one of our elderly and was told that her grandson had passed away. She was very sad. As I listened to her cries, my heart melt. I said a prayer for her and hope that God would grant her comfort and grant her the strength that she needed.
Some days later, it will be Danny Chan's death anniversary. Will people around the world still remember him or will everyone be so busy with some other stars that they will forget him? For me, though I am not his fan till now, I must say that his voice is really special. If I am out of love, besides Jeff Chang, I believe Danny Chan will be a better choice to listen to so that cries of sorrow and anger will be vented out.
Today, as I saw Danny Chan's music videos, once again I am being reminded not to be a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist has its pros and cons but this mountain must be rid of in order for God to do the work in me. There are forever negative things being thrown right at my face, remarks that people have been hurling at me and I am just afraid of falling trap in my own room. Lord, please help me. There is only You to help me. Maybe those borned in the month of September are not only a fair person but a responsible person and a perfectionist.
Lord, please help me to go through life with You every day. As negative remarks and things are being hurled at me, I renounce them in Jesus' Name. Let not those things that they said affect me or hinder my growth in You.
Thank You, Lord.
On last Saturday, 2 October 2010, our Mother of Singapore, Mrs Lee Kuan Yew, passed away peacefully at home. By her side was her daughter. MM Lee was hospitalized due to chest infection and could not be with her when she breathed her last. As Singapore mourns for this wonderful lady, some other feelings welled up in me.
This morning, I received a call from Elsie, one of our elderly and was told that her grandson had passed away. She was very sad. As I listened to her cries, my heart melt. I said a prayer for her and hope that God would grant her comfort and grant her the strength that she needed.
Some days later, it will be Danny Chan's death anniversary. Will people around the world still remember him or will everyone be so busy with some other stars that they will forget him? For me, though I am not his fan till now, I must say that his voice is really special. If I am out of love, besides Jeff Chang, I believe Danny Chan will be a better choice to listen to so that cries of sorrow and anger will be vented out.
Today, as I saw Danny Chan's music videos, once again I am being reminded not to be a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist has its pros and cons but this mountain must be rid of in order for God to do the work in me. There are forever negative things being thrown right at my face, remarks that people have been hurling at me and I am just afraid of falling trap in my own room. Lord, please help me. There is only You to help me. Maybe those borned in the month of September are not only a fair person but a responsible person and a perfectionist.
Lord, please help me to go through life with You every day. As negative remarks and things are being hurled at me, I renounce them in Jesus' Name. Let not those things that they said affect me or hinder my growth in You.
Thank You, Lord.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Danny Chan
These few days, I have been listening to Danny Chan's songs. It might come as a surprise but I did not know that Pian Pian Hei Fuan Li was sung by him. The first time when I heard this song, it was sung by Leslie Cheung.
Then after going through his songs, I found it strange that such a young man, with promising future, actually suffered from depression. He sacrificed his studies in Sec 4 to pursue his interest in music. Then he began a journey of fame and song compositions. In fact, I found him to be very talented. The songs that he composed were very down-to-earth and mostly sad. However, I must say that they are very touching. Like 'Having you'.
As I viewed more of his videos and interviews in Youtube, I realized that his depression was quite serious. He was a perfectionist. He wanted everything to be perfect, if not, he would not even start anything. Like his fashion shop. In one interview, his fan asked him when he would open it, but he said that he would take time to open it as he did not want to rush things through. With this perfectionist character in him, he made himself unhappy. It is this obstacle that I think creates his low self-esteem. When his friends, Leslie Cheung and Alan Tam had more successes than him or so he thought, the pressure set in. He began to withdraw himself and then slowly lost the interest to compose songs. What is worse was he began to take alcohol to numb himself. In the end, he was found unconscious in his own home on 18 May 1992. During his unconscious state in hospital, one of the friends who was being interviewed mentioned that he was in a large hospital room filled with many well-wishes from fans. The only sound in the room was from the machine that kept him alive. When she told him to quickly wake up from his slumber and play, his eyeballs showed movement. To this, this friend said that she believed he wanted to wake up too but was unable to somehow. Whatever the reason, only God knows. Finally, on 25 Oct 1993, after being unconscious for 17 months, he passed away due to organs failure. He was only 35 years old when he passed away.
As I saw the videos and songs he sang in 1987, I think that maybe at that time, depression had already set in. His smile was very forceful and there were criticisms that he seemed unable to overcome. Being a perfectionist, I somehow understand how he must have felt. Did he think of getting help from God at that point in time? What he had was friends who cared for him, but what about him turning to God? Did it occur to him then? All these questions will only remain as questions unanswered.
His father even opened a memorial hall for people to go and visit. This hall contains not only his pictures from young, but also things that he used and clothes that he used to wear. The pain that his family members feel will always remain but God can heal them. A legend has passed on. His songs will forever remain in the hearts of those who appreciate him.
God, I may not have know the family members of Danny Chan. But I pray that Your strength to be with them. Let them come to know You and be comforted by You. The passing on of Danny is a pity to many but You have a greater plan for each one of them. Lord, be with them and help them understand that You are still in control. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Then after going through his songs, I found it strange that such a young man, with promising future, actually suffered from depression. He sacrificed his studies in Sec 4 to pursue his interest in music. Then he began a journey of fame and song compositions. In fact, I found him to be very talented. The songs that he composed were very down-to-earth and mostly sad. However, I must say that they are very touching. Like 'Having you'.
As I viewed more of his videos and interviews in Youtube, I realized that his depression was quite serious. He was a perfectionist. He wanted everything to be perfect, if not, he would not even start anything. Like his fashion shop. In one interview, his fan asked him when he would open it, but he said that he would take time to open it as he did not want to rush things through. With this perfectionist character in him, he made himself unhappy. It is this obstacle that I think creates his low self-esteem. When his friends, Leslie Cheung and Alan Tam had more successes than him or so he thought, the pressure set in. He began to withdraw himself and then slowly lost the interest to compose songs. What is worse was he began to take alcohol to numb himself. In the end, he was found unconscious in his own home on 18 May 1992. During his unconscious state in hospital, one of the friends who was being interviewed mentioned that he was in a large hospital room filled with many well-wishes from fans. The only sound in the room was from the machine that kept him alive. When she told him to quickly wake up from his slumber and play, his eyeballs showed movement. To this, this friend said that she believed he wanted to wake up too but was unable to somehow. Whatever the reason, only God knows. Finally, on 25 Oct 1993, after being unconscious for 17 months, he passed away due to organs failure. He was only 35 years old when he passed away.
As I saw the videos and songs he sang in 1987, I think that maybe at that time, depression had already set in. His smile was very forceful and there were criticisms that he seemed unable to overcome. Being a perfectionist, I somehow understand how he must have felt. Did he think of getting help from God at that point in time? What he had was friends who cared for him, but what about him turning to God? Did it occur to him then? All these questions will only remain as questions unanswered.
His father even opened a memorial hall for people to go and visit. This hall contains not only his pictures from young, but also things that he used and clothes that he used to wear. The pain that his family members feel will always remain but God can heal them. A legend has passed on. His songs will forever remain in the hearts of those who appreciate him.
God, I may not have know the family members of Danny Chan. But I pray that Your strength to be with them. Let them come to know You and be comforted by You. The passing on of Danny is a pity to many but You have a greater plan for each one of them. Lord, be with them and help them understand that You are still in control. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Feedback!
Dear God
Yesterday, my supervisor and I had our first session of supervision. I told him what I had been feeling after each outreach programme and he said that it was time for him to have a debrief after each outreach.
Then the bomb came. He mentioned that I had a weak spiritual life. That could lead me not being able to see, feel or speak correctly. He cited so many incidences and told me that it was better to show grace to the elderly that we served rather than belittled them. I thought about this since yesterday and decided to search in Youtube the worship songs that I could relate to in this suitation. I still feel bad inside me. I want to have a better spiritual life. I know that I am not perfect Lord. Sometimes, I just feel that certain things can be done simplier but people complicate things.
I do not know why I am always the one being misunderstood. Maybe my spiritual life is really in a mess. Lord, thank you that You love me despite the mess. Help me to improve in my spiritual life. Help me to listen to You once again ever so dearly.
Here I am with all I have. I raise my hands to worship You. I want to say Thank You for who You are and how You have touched me. I pray that You can help me to have a deeper walk with You.
Nothing beats spending time with You Lord. Keep me in Your arms.
In Jesus' Name, I give thanks and commit myself to You, Amen.
Yesterday, my supervisor and I had our first session of supervision. I told him what I had been feeling after each outreach programme and he said that it was time for him to have a debrief after each outreach.
Then the bomb came. He mentioned that I had a weak spiritual life. That could lead me not being able to see, feel or speak correctly. He cited so many incidences and told me that it was better to show grace to the elderly that we served rather than belittled them. I thought about this since yesterday and decided to search in Youtube the worship songs that I could relate to in this suitation. I still feel bad inside me. I want to have a better spiritual life. I know that I am not perfect Lord. Sometimes, I just feel that certain things can be done simplier but people complicate things.
I do not know why I am always the one being misunderstood. Maybe my spiritual life is really in a mess. Lord, thank you that You love me despite the mess. Help me to improve in my spiritual life. Help me to listen to You once again ever so dearly.
Here I am with all I have. I raise my hands to worship You. I want to say Thank You for who You are and how You have touched me. I pray that You can help me to have a deeper walk with You.
Nothing beats spending time with You Lord. Keep me in Your arms.
In Jesus' Name, I give thanks and commit myself to You, Amen.
Monday, August 09, 2010
Disappointed!!!!
Today, bro and I went to buy a new vaccum cleaner. Well, the reason for buying this item is because I find that our house is getting dirtier and dirtier each day and no matter how we try to clean the dust, it just seems impossible. What is more frustrating is that after 5 minutes of sweeping the floor, I just find the floor very dusty. Maybe it is due to the construction of the circle line.
After buying the cleaner, when dad asked how much the item was, I told him that it was $799 and immediately he flared up. He said that he was so worried about his medical fee of $50 this month and yet I could spend so much money on a household item.
I find this very ridiculous and disappointed. When my family members have money, all they think of is themselves. They use the money for their own pleasure and when things in the house break down, they all turn to me and begin nagging at me when I tell me that I do not have money. Then when I buy something a bit more expensive for the family, they again say that I waste money on unnecessary things. How about them? When they have money, they can spend on cigarettes, alcohol, jewelleries, musical instruments, clothes, shoes, etc. Not that their clothes are torn or their shoes have spoilt. Then when I buy clothes or shoes once in a blue moon, I am being told that I am spending unwisely. Lord, I commit this kind of situation to You. I am really very tired and find it very ...........
After buying the cleaner, when dad asked how much the item was, I told him that it was $799 and immediately he flared up. He said that he was so worried about his medical fee of $50 this month and yet I could spend so much money on a household item.
I find this very ridiculous and disappointed. When my family members have money, all they think of is themselves. They use the money for their own pleasure and when things in the house break down, they all turn to me and begin nagging at me when I tell me that I do not have money. Then when I buy something a bit more expensive for the family, they again say that I waste money on unnecessary things. How about them? When they have money, they can spend on cigarettes, alcohol, jewelleries, musical instruments, clothes, shoes, etc. Not that their clothes are torn or their shoes have spoilt. Then when I buy clothes or shoes once in a blue moon, I am being told that I am spending unwisely. Lord, I commit this kind of situation to You. I am really very tired and find it very ...........
Friday, August 06, 2010
Movie 1: The Room by Media Evangelism
On Thursday, I spent the most of my time watching 2 movies from Media Evangelism.
The first is called The Room. It talks about the spiritual room that each of us has. In this spiritual room, it holds very intimate things which an individual does not share with anyone. It is a room where only that individual can access to. At the start of the movie, it showed a senior social worker persuading a teacher not to commit suicide. Everyone really envied the social worker's courage by stepping on broken glasses to prove that she understood what the teacher went through.
Then the different deadlines, the different expectations that the social worker had to face, the different negative comments by friends and colleagues and ultimately, the suicide of that teacher whom she had rescued previously took a toll on her. She began to withdraw herself more and more to this little spiritual room that she had. Even her boyfriend could not get to her. Slowly, she began to have the symptoms of a depressed person. She began to lose her sleep, she had no interest in doing things that she used to like and she began to shun people, even her boyfriend. Then one day, she decided to commit suicide. As she was standing at the ledge, she called the Life Line hotline. The counselor who took her call happened to be the one who witnessed how she rescued the teacher previously and found her courage commendable. As the counselor began to listen to the inner voices of God telling her what to do, she began to share with the social worker that God still loves us no matter what the past was like. Even though there were many tears in this world, we could still embrace it because we had God with us. At that, the social worker began to experience a peace that she never experienced in her heart before. She decided not to end her life because she believed that with God, she could live each day and embrace life bravely.
When I saw this movie, a few lessons came to mind.
1) Very often, we find people say that being a counselor/social worker/psychologist, when we face obstacles, we know how to solve it ourselves. We will not be depressed or suffer any depression. However, being in this line of work, it will have more stress that nobody can understand. As the client/beneficiary begins to tell you of their sad stories/problems, you will begin to think how to help them. Sometimes, you will feel discourage when things do not go the right way and questions begin to envelope. But what we need to remember is this: we must not let other people's problems become our problems. Easier said than done, but we can do it with God's help. We can pray to God about it, we can discuss with our seniors in this area. Sometimes, some psychologists, social workers and counselors are so prideful that they refuse to let anyone know what they are going through. In the end, they become depressed.
2) Each of us has a spiritual room. We will open this room and enter into it whenever we like. Most of the people enter the room without being able to exit from it. This cause them to have depression. It is like going around in circles and find that there is nothing you can do about the 'problems/issues' in life. But always remember that God is in control. What we cannot do, He can give us the strength to do.
3) Like the counselor when she was in training, she thought that she knew how to listen with her ears. However, she was too impatient. When the instructor asked the students to close their eyes and began to listen to their own voices, she had problem staying for long. We are like the counselor at times. We tell God that we know this area of expertise; it is simple and everyone can follow. However, when we really try, we find that we have a hard time listening to Him. Like what the instructor said, we must learn to listen to God in the morning to start our day, to listen to what others are saying in the afternoon and to listen to our inner voices in the evening. This will then teach us how to listen attentively.
May God help me to do so with discipline.
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
The first is called The Room. It talks about the spiritual room that each of us has. In this spiritual room, it holds very intimate things which an individual does not share with anyone. It is a room where only that individual can access to. At the start of the movie, it showed a senior social worker persuading a teacher not to commit suicide. Everyone really envied the social worker's courage by stepping on broken glasses to prove that she understood what the teacher went through.
Then the different deadlines, the different expectations that the social worker had to face, the different negative comments by friends and colleagues and ultimately, the suicide of that teacher whom she had rescued previously took a toll on her. She began to withdraw herself more and more to this little spiritual room that she had. Even her boyfriend could not get to her. Slowly, she began to have the symptoms of a depressed person. She began to lose her sleep, she had no interest in doing things that she used to like and she began to shun people, even her boyfriend. Then one day, she decided to commit suicide. As she was standing at the ledge, she called the Life Line hotline. The counselor who took her call happened to be the one who witnessed how she rescued the teacher previously and found her courage commendable. As the counselor began to listen to the inner voices of God telling her what to do, she began to share with the social worker that God still loves us no matter what the past was like. Even though there were many tears in this world, we could still embrace it because we had God with us. At that, the social worker began to experience a peace that she never experienced in her heart before. She decided not to end her life because she believed that with God, she could live each day and embrace life bravely.
When I saw this movie, a few lessons came to mind.
1) Very often, we find people say that being a counselor/social worker/psychologist, when we face obstacles, we know how to solve it ourselves. We will not be depressed or suffer any depression. However, being in this line of work, it will have more stress that nobody can understand. As the client/beneficiary begins to tell you of their sad stories/problems, you will begin to think how to help them. Sometimes, you will feel discourage when things do not go the right way and questions begin to envelope. But what we need to remember is this: we must not let other people's problems become our problems. Easier said than done, but we can do it with God's help. We can pray to God about it, we can discuss with our seniors in this area. Sometimes, some psychologists, social workers and counselors are so prideful that they refuse to let anyone know what they are going through. In the end, they become depressed.
2) Each of us has a spiritual room. We will open this room and enter into it whenever we like. Most of the people enter the room without being able to exit from it. This cause them to have depression. It is like going around in circles and find that there is nothing you can do about the 'problems/issues' in life. But always remember that God is in control. What we cannot do, He can give us the strength to do.
3) Like the counselor when she was in training, she thought that she knew how to listen with her ears. However, she was too impatient. When the instructor asked the students to close their eyes and began to listen to their own voices, she had problem staying for long. We are like the counselor at times. We tell God that we know this area of expertise; it is simple and everyone can follow. However, when we really try, we find that we have a hard time listening to Him. Like what the instructor said, we must learn to listen to God in the morning to start our day, to listen to what others are saying in the afternoon and to listen to our inner voices in the evening. This will then teach us how to listen attentively.
May God help me to do so with discipline.
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
What a day!
These past 2 weeks have been quite challenging for me.
First of all, I was quite sick last week. Suddenly, I experienced needle-piercing pain into my heart when I was travelling in a bus back home. Then 2 days later, I could not really breath. It was like something heavy was put on top of my chest.
This week, I thought of going to the morning prayers. But the whole early morning of Monday, I was dreaming of fighting demons and casting them out in Jesus' name. What a funny dream I thought! But then, I began to question and ask God to show me light. What was the dream supposed to be? Are You telling me that it was my gift to drive out demons Lord? Questions seemed unanswered but I will not give up asking. These few days, I have been asking God to show me what my gifting is so that I can use it for the extension of His Kingdom. So maybe, this is the answer from Him. I do not know.
Today, I went to visit one elderly couple and again, kana 'scolded' by this elderly uncle that I 'shouted' at him during one of his visits to the centre and that my actions showed that I did not give him face. When I tried to explain, he refused to listen. Then his wife tried to mediate and told me to apologise to him. So I did. Then he told me to change my hot temper. His wife told me to just agree to what he said. She just smiled when he told her not to accept anything from me. But then, he slowly mellowed down when I told him that I would change my temper and offered my hand to shake his. He was then abit pai seh. So his wife shoke my hand instead.
Sometimes, I wonder why such incident happened. People misunderstood what I said or felt that I never showed them any respect. I just want to make rapport with them. It seems so difficult at times to really make them understand my actions. Lord, may You show me how. I am really tired. Let all unspiritual things be dismissed from me. Let any curses that others put on me be broken down in Jesus' name, that it would not have any effect on me. Let my health be restored and that I will not take any more MCs or urgent leave. Let my urgent leave be really urgent Lord. Grant me strength for each day. Also, Lord, as I go through each day's activities, help me to enjoy what You have prepared for me and not be agitated when things go awry or not according to what was planned. May Your presence be with me and teach me along the way. In Jesus' name I commit myself to You, Amen.
First of all, I was quite sick last week. Suddenly, I experienced needle-piercing pain into my heart when I was travelling in a bus back home. Then 2 days later, I could not really breath. It was like something heavy was put on top of my chest.
This week, I thought of going to the morning prayers. But the whole early morning of Monday, I was dreaming of fighting demons and casting them out in Jesus' name. What a funny dream I thought! But then, I began to question and ask God to show me light. What was the dream supposed to be? Are You telling me that it was my gift to drive out demons Lord? Questions seemed unanswered but I will not give up asking. These few days, I have been asking God to show me what my gifting is so that I can use it for the extension of His Kingdom. So maybe, this is the answer from Him. I do not know.
Today, I went to visit one elderly couple and again, kana 'scolded' by this elderly uncle that I 'shouted' at him during one of his visits to the centre and that my actions showed that I did not give him face. When I tried to explain, he refused to listen. Then his wife tried to mediate and told me to apologise to him. So I did. Then he told me to change my hot temper. His wife told me to just agree to what he said. She just smiled when he told her not to accept anything from me. But then, he slowly mellowed down when I told him that I would change my temper and offered my hand to shake his. He was then abit pai seh. So his wife shoke my hand instead.
Sometimes, I wonder why such incident happened. People misunderstood what I said or felt that I never showed them any respect. I just want to make rapport with them. It seems so difficult at times to really make them understand my actions. Lord, may You show me how. I am really tired. Let all unspiritual things be dismissed from me. Let any curses that others put on me be broken down in Jesus' name, that it would not have any effect on me. Let my health be restored and that I will not take any more MCs or urgent leave. Let my urgent leave be really urgent Lord. Grant me strength for each day. Also, Lord, as I go through each day's activities, help me to enjoy what You have prepared for me and not be agitated when things go awry or not according to what was planned. May Your presence be with me and teach me along the way. In Jesus' name I commit myself to You, Amen.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Filial Piety
These days, there is a new TV ad to tell people how to show filial piety.
In this ad, it showed that the old grandmother was very hard to please when she moved to live with her son and his family. The daughter-in-law tried to please her too but was hurt whenever she commented negatively about the things she did. The grandson saw all this and found it very disgusting. One day, the grandmother was hospitalized and in serious condition. The grandson asked his father why he needed to treat her so well since she treated them badly when she was well and kicking. The son remembered a time when he was sick and his mother had to rush him to hospital under the rain. When they reached the hospital, the mother was all drenched. While waiting for the doctor, she sang her the song, 'Tian hey hey'. The son then woke up. As he remembered this scene, he sang the same song to his mother.
This ad taught me something. When an elderly parent comes to stay with the children, there will definitely be inconvenience. Not only must the elderly parent try to adapt to the children, the children's family also need to adapt to the parent. Tension will then arise. But as the golden wordings says, 'When there is an elderly at home, there is gold/treasure.' However, this is the opposite of today. In the area where I serve, many stories of elderly parents being neglected by their children who are well-to-do. Some elderly found that it was stupid of them to dote their children so much and in the end, they were being treated like dirt. Some children feel that if they give their parents money, it is filial piety. However, these elderly need company, someone that they can talk to, someone who dotes them. These cannot be replaced by outsiders. Only a fresh and blood children can comfort them.
Of course, there is another group of children who really treat their elderly parents well. They give them not only allowances but also bring them to eat, visit them regularly and take them to tours. This is good but the elderly parents sometimes become overly proud and begin to exploit charitable organizations. When they are in charitable organizations, they will despise other elderly whose situation is worst than them. Then when the organizations give donated items, they complain that they receive too little or never receive at all or receive poor quality items. Some even appear poor in order to get these donated items and sell it to someone else. Such actions are really absurd. But this is the way life is.
Whatever it is, filial piety is not something that we can coach. It comes from observation. We observe how our parents treat their parents and in turn we learn how to treat our parents. This is learned behaviour. If our parents treat their parents badly, the vicious cycle will continue until someone along the family line decides to stop it. May God guide us in treating our parents well.
In this ad, it showed that the old grandmother was very hard to please when she moved to live with her son and his family. The daughter-in-law tried to please her too but was hurt whenever she commented negatively about the things she did. The grandson saw all this and found it very disgusting. One day, the grandmother was hospitalized and in serious condition. The grandson asked his father why he needed to treat her so well since she treated them badly when she was well and kicking. The son remembered a time when he was sick and his mother had to rush him to hospital under the rain. When they reached the hospital, the mother was all drenched. While waiting for the doctor, she sang her the song, 'Tian hey hey'. The son then woke up. As he remembered this scene, he sang the same song to his mother.
This ad taught me something. When an elderly parent comes to stay with the children, there will definitely be inconvenience. Not only must the elderly parent try to adapt to the children, the children's family also need to adapt to the parent. Tension will then arise. But as the golden wordings says, 'When there is an elderly at home, there is gold/treasure.' However, this is the opposite of today. In the area where I serve, many stories of elderly parents being neglected by their children who are well-to-do. Some elderly found that it was stupid of them to dote their children so much and in the end, they were being treated like dirt. Some children feel that if they give their parents money, it is filial piety. However, these elderly need company, someone that they can talk to, someone who dotes them. These cannot be replaced by outsiders. Only a fresh and blood children can comfort them.
Of course, there is another group of children who really treat their elderly parents well. They give them not only allowances but also bring them to eat, visit them regularly and take them to tours. This is good but the elderly parents sometimes become overly proud and begin to exploit charitable organizations. When they are in charitable organizations, they will despise other elderly whose situation is worst than them. Then when the organizations give donated items, they complain that they receive too little or never receive at all or receive poor quality items. Some even appear poor in order to get these donated items and sell it to someone else. Such actions are really absurd. But this is the way life is.
Whatever it is, filial piety is not something that we can coach. It comes from observation. We observe how our parents treat their parents and in turn we learn how to treat our parents. This is learned behaviour. If our parents treat their parents badly, the vicious cycle will continue until someone along the family line decides to stop it. May God guide us in treating our parents well.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Frustration!
Over the weekend, I had a mixture of feelings overwhelming me at the same time. Today, when I woke up, the only feelings that I had was anger. I know that I should not have let the sun go down and my anger is still there but this was really getting on my nerves.
One elderly fell down on one outing on Saturday. At first, I called the daughter to ask for her ward details. I explained to her how the incident happened. Then yesterday night, I received another call from her. This time, I could sense that she was putting the blame on us for not taking good care of her mother. Apparently, someone went to visit her from one of our volunteers and said that maybe because of the huge number of elderly for this outing, we staff did not take good care of her. This was outrageous. First of all, I can say with all my heart that staff, volunteers and cell members were good at taking care of the elderly on that day. However, there was this elderly who was so stubborn in listening to others. When someone told her to sit down, she refused. When someone told her not to stand near the glass door, she used her hand to brush off that person and insisted on standing there. So when the incident happened, she claimed that she did not know the door would reverse back. Secondly, the volunteer who went to visit her yesterday should not have said that to the daughter. He was not even at the site when the incident happened. What right does he has in making such a sweepy statement? The most ridiculous thing that the daughter asked me was why the restaurant did not call for ambulance when this incident happened. Before she hung up the phone, she commented that 'I know that it is good for your company to bring the elderly for such outings. But you all should take good care of them and not let this happened'. Blame shifting! How nice and hyprocritical!
I just pray that this incident will resolve soon and God I really wish for full recovery of this elderly and that she will not be so stubborn anymore, making our job so frustrated.
One elderly fell down on one outing on Saturday. At first, I called the daughter to ask for her ward details. I explained to her how the incident happened. Then yesterday night, I received another call from her. This time, I could sense that she was putting the blame on us for not taking good care of her mother. Apparently, someone went to visit her from one of our volunteers and said that maybe because of the huge number of elderly for this outing, we staff did not take good care of her. This was outrageous. First of all, I can say with all my heart that staff, volunteers and cell members were good at taking care of the elderly on that day. However, there was this elderly who was so stubborn in listening to others. When someone told her to sit down, she refused. When someone told her not to stand near the glass door, she used her hand to brush off that person and insisted on standing there. So when the incident happened, she claimed that she did not know the door would reverse back. Secondly, the volunteer who went to visit her yesterday should not have said that to the daughter. He was not even at the site when the incident happened. What right does he has in making such a sweepy statement? The most ridiculous thing that the daughter asked me was why the restaurant did not call for ambulance when this incident happened. Before she hung up the phone, she commented that 'I know that it is good for your company to bring the elderly for such outings. But you all should take good care of them and not let this happened'. Blame shifting! How nice and hyprocritical!
I just pray that this incident will resolve soon and God I really wish for full recovery of this elderly and that she will not be so stubborn anymore, making our job so frustrated.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Who are my friends?
Just minutes ago, I read a very long email from one of my closest friends, IC.
A little background: we have known each other since 1986. There was a period when we lost touch but then we managed to keep in touch again when we worked in AIA.
What happened to IC: well, she has been pressurized by a friend (ST) previously to buy goods from another friend (ML) because ML was facing financial difficulties. ST assured IC that she could buy the goods on her behalf first and take IC's time to repay her the money. However, IC was very reluntant as she was helping her brother to pay his credit card bills + her own bills + her new home expenses. ST kept pressurizing her further until IC consented. However, now, ST pressurized IC to repay the outstanding amount of goods to her because her husband was quarrelling with her about this now. IC felt very ridiculous about this and reasoned with her. What made matters worse was that she had borrowed money from her boss to pay for the renovation and home expenses for her new house. So with her marginal pay, she was finding it so hard to settle anything.
I wish I could help her but all I can do right now is to lend her my ears. I sure hope that our circle of friends can be with her and support her financially. What I found it funny was that she had to pay the credit bills of her brother when her brother is working.
God, please send some Samaritians to help IC. Let her stay sound. I know what it is like to have such a burden. Keep her in Your arms Lord, even though she does not know You. I pray for Your protection to be over her. Let ST be responsible for her own actions instead of blaming others for her plight. God, please help IC. In Jesus' name I commit her to, Amen.
A little background: we have known each other since 1986. There was a period when we lost touch but then we managed to keep in touch again when we worked in AIA.
What happened to IC: well, she has been pressurized by a friend (ST) previously to buy goods from another friend (ML) because ML was facing financial difficulties. ST assured IC that she could buy the goods on her behalf first and take IC's time to repay her the money. However, IC was very reluntant as she was helping her brother to pay his credit card bills + her own bills + her new home expenses. ST kept pressurizing her further until IC consented. However, now, ST pressurized IC to repay the outstanding amount of goods to her because her husband was quarrelling with her about this now. IC felt very ridiculous about this and reasoned with her. What made matters worse was that she had borrowed money from her boss to pay for the renovation and home expenses for her new house. So with her marginal pay, she was finding it so hard to settle anything.
I wish I could help her but all I can do right now is to lend her my ears. I sure hope that our circle of friends can be with her and support her financially. What I found it funny was that she had to pay the credit bills of her brother when her brother is working.
God, please send some Samaritians to help IC. Let her stay sound. I know what it is like to have such a burden. Keep her in Your arms Lord, even though she does not know You. I pray for Your protection to be over her. Let ST be responsible for her own actions instead of blaming others for her plight. God, please help IC. In Jesus' name I commit her to, Amen.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Opening of centre
Yesterday was the opening of our centre. After weeks of preparations, it was finally over!
Though there was rain, the program started with many elderly. Some tried to gatecrash too and one elderly even asked whether there was ang bao to take. Though it was a bit messy, we managed to have fun ourselves.
First of all, my colleague told the volunteers to put the tables and chairs very closely to the stage. I told them otherwise and she was not happy. Reason for my action: the tentage was so long and if we put all tables and chairs near the stage, then what's the point of having a long tentage? We might as well save money and asked for a shorter one.
Then, when one colleague saw that most of the seats were taken up, she was frustrated and questioned why I did not bother to let her have the table settings for her to arrange the VIPs and management committee members to sit. I told her that one table was already reserved but I did not know why 3 persons were sitted there. She then told me to shift the elderly who were performing to sit behind but I told her otherwise. Later, I told my reporting boss about it and he agreed that she should be the one to let us know the number of seats we should reserve not the other way round.
After that, during lunch, most of the Malay elderly were asking whether the food was halal. At first, I could not understand why they were asking until I was having my lunch, I saw that the food seemed to suggest that it was a Chinese-cooked food.
Then one of the RC people was so rude. She demanded that I took 2 bags of goodie bags and not asked so many questions. Then when one elderly came to ask for the goodie bag, she gave it to her without asking anyone. Thank God I saw it. I told this elderly that before I gave her the bag, she was to let me see her new medication and medication box. She tends to forget her medication and all staff in the centre are worried that she would get a stroke. She dutifully followed my instructions.
Though everything seemed to be a mess at first, the staff at the centre were just glad that everything went smoothly and ended well. Now, I have to get feedback from the elderly and volunteers. Some volunteers are just not ready and sensitive to the needs of the volunteers except for Dawn. She was so mad with the volunteers eating at the buffet tables and not helping out when I gave signals that she scolded them with vulgarities. I told my reporting boss about this so that if any of the volunteers complain later, he will know what happened.
Thank God for letting the event run as planned. Though there are hipcups, I'm just glad that there are volunteers around to help us do the cleaning up. Thank You Lord.
Though there was rain, the program started with many elderly. Some tried to gatecrash too and one elderly even asked whether there was ang bao to take. Though it was a bit messy, we managed to have fun ourselves.
First of all, my colleague told the volunteers to put the tables and chairs very closely to the stage. I told them otherwise and she was not happy. Reason for my action: the tentage was so long and if we put all tables and chairs near the stage, then what's the point of having a long tentage? We might as well save money and asked for a shorter one.
Then, when one colleague saw that most of the seats were taken up, she was frustrated and questioned why I did not bother to let her have the table settings for her to arrange the VIPs and management committee members to sit. I told her that one table was already reserved but I did not know why 3 persons were sitted there. She then told me to shift the elderly who were performing to sit behind but I told her otherwise. Later, I told my reporting boss about it and he agreed that she should be the one to let us know the number of seats we should reserve not the other way round.
After that, during lunch, most of the Malay elderly were asking whether the food was halal. At first, I could not understand why they were asking until I was having my lunch, I saw that the food seemed to suggest that it was a Chinese-cooked food.
Then one of the RC people was so rude. She demanded that I took 2 bags of goodie bags and not asked so many questions. Then when one elderly came to ask for the goodie bag, she gave it to her without asking anyone. Thank God I saw it. I told this elderly that before I gave her the bag, she was to let me see her new medication and medication box. She tends to forget her medication and all staff in the centre are worried that she would get a stroke. She dutifully followed my instructions.
Though everything seemed to be a mess at first, the staff at the centre were just glad that everything went smoothly and ended well. Now, I have to get feedback from the elderly and volunteers. Some volunteers are just not ready and sensitive to the needs of the volunteers except for Dawn. She was so mad with the volunteers eating at the buffet tables and not helping out when I gave signals that she scolded them with vulgarities. I told my reporting boss about this so that if any of the volunteers complain later, he will know what happened.
Thank God for letting the event run as planned. Though there are hipcups, I'm just glad that there are volunteers around to help us do the cleaning up. Thank You Lord.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Jack Neo's scandal
These few days, whenever I opened the newspapers or go to Yahoo, the first thing that I saw was Jack Neo's scandal.
So many people have been blaming Jack Neo for committing adultery and conning young women to have sex with him. Some even claimed that they nearly fell into his schemes some years back. It is interesting to find that the internet forum has so many discussions about him and his family, including his works. I noticed that one internet user even claimed that it was the devil's work and we should not blamed Jack for his actions.
Well, my point of view is this: whatever has happened, Jack must take the responsibility to shoulder the consequences, even if it means his wife and children are leaving him. The consequences may not be so dire, given that the wife mentioned that she loved him, this marriage and this family. We should not blamed entirely on the devil too. No doubt that the devil will try to tempt us whenever he has the chance to, we should not forget our carnal nature that is at work as well. The devil can tempt us, but if our focus is on God thereby reducing more of our carnal nature, then chances of us making mistakes will be reduced. What makes me more curious is that after being a Christian, who come he commits adultery without feeling guilt or can sleep so well each night? What went wrong with his Christian walk with God?
Whatever it is, we should not keep focusing on Jack and his family during this time of crisis. The family has suffered much through the media focus. Let us keep them in prayer that as they go through this together, God will show them a way to resolve it.
Lord, I pray for Jack and his family right now. In Jesus' name, I pray for healing to take place. Let the hatred, guilt and shame be removed and instead let Your Spirit be with them, giving them comfort and strength. Lord, I pray for forgiveness to take place in this family that as they go through this, they will see Your goodness and grace and be blessed by You. Though they may be accused of many things now, I pray that these accusations will not stand. Lord, every one errs as we are still work-in-progress. But let us not take this for granted. Let Your spirit continue to lead them during this time. Let Your presence be felt even more strongly now. I also pray for the media and friends of Jack and his family that they will not put pressure on them anymore but rather, they will give their support and time to leave them alone to settle whatever that needs to be settled. Even for their relatives, I pray that they will be a source of strength for them. I commit this family into Your hands. You know best and You love us more than anyone else in this world. Let Your love and mercy be with them. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
So many people have been blaming Jack Neo for committing adultery and conning young women to have sex with him. Some even claimed that they nearly fell into his schemes some years back. It is interesting to find that the internet forum has so many discussions about him and his family, including his works. I noticed that one internet user even claimed that it was the devil's work and we should not blamed Jack for his actions.
Well, my point of view is this: whatever has happened, Jack must take the responsibility to shoulder the consequences, even if it means his wife and children are leaving him. The consequences may not be so dire, given that the wife mentioned that she loved him, this marriage and this family. We should not blamed entirely on the devil too. No doubt that the devil will try to tempt us whenever he has the chance to, we should not forget our carnal nature that is at work as well. The devil can tempt us, but if our focus is on God thereby reducing more of our carnal nature, then chances of us making mistakes will be reduced. What makes me more curious is that after being a Christian, who come he commits adultery without feeling guilt or can sleep so well each night? What went wrong with his Christian walk with God?
Whatever it is, we should not keep focusing on Jack and his family during this time of crisis. The family has suffered much through the media focus. Let us keep them in prayer that as they go through this together, God will show them a way to resolve it.
Lord, I pray for Jack and his family right now. In Jesus' name, I pray for healing to take place. Let the hatred, guilt and shame be removed and instead let Your Spirit be with them, giving them comfort and strength. Lord, I pray for forgiveness to take place in this family that as they go through this, they will see Your goodness and grace and be blessed by You. Though they may be accused of many things now, I pray that these accusations will not stand. Lord, every one errs as we are still work-in-progress. But let us not take this for granted. Let Your spirit continue to lead them during this time. Let Your presence be felt even more strongly now. I also pray for the media and friends of Jack and his family that they will not put pressure on them anymore but rather, they will give their support and time to leave them alone to settle whatever that needs to be settled. Even for their relatives, I pray that they will be a source of strength for them. I commit this family into Your hands. You know best and You love us more than anyone else in this world. Let Your love and mercy be with them. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)