Review of movie 'Storm of the Century'

Yesterday, I watched a DVD borrowed from my younger brother's friend. The director is Stephen King who directed this film based on his book.

The story started with a old lady at home enjoying her time watching TV program when suddenly, there was a knock on the door. The visitor is a stranger, completely never heard before in a small town. When the old lady opened the door, the stranger killed her with his tungka. His tungka is not an ordinary one. It has the head of a snake and the head is in silver color. Then came the story where the storm ranged heavily on this town and how this stranger killed the people in this town. He even had the power to plant dreams into people. Whenever he killed someone, he would write on the wall, mirror or any surface, urging the people to give him what he wanted and he would leave them.

Finally, the night came when he revealed what he wanted. He wanted a child to carry on his 'trade'. So the people all gathered in a town hall and voted whether they should believe what this stranger said. Only one man, a constable, stood on his belief that no children should be sacrificed and even gave the consequences of such actions. However, every one did not want to believe in him, not even his wife. Finally, the vote came to decide which child should be given to this stranger. The stranger called all the wives of the children, a total of 8 of them. They were to pick up a stone from a black bag which this stranger had. Only the one parent with the black stone will the child be taken. Well, it seemed that this stranger had already arranged in advance. The constable's child, Ralph, was to be the one to carry on the stranger's target. No matter how the constable objected, the people let this stranger took the child away.

What struck me most in this movie was the last part when all the people were faced with the possibility of losing their child for the sake of the small town. It's like God asking me and everyone out there, that when face with difficult situations, how do we react? God knows what is important to us. So do satan. Most of us will view our family members as the most important thing in our lives. If one day, satan will to use our family members to threaten us to deny our faith in God, will we do that?

Lord, please help me to resist the devil till the end. Even when he threatens me with my family members, may I never be shaken but to stand firm in You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Reviews of Rose Red

Today I have watched the DVD of Stephen King's Rose Red. For those in other countries like USA or Canada, they may have heard of this story.

Rose Red is a haunted house which existed in this world. Haunted because some people claimed that people were missing while in this house or found dead. This is especially when Dr Joyce, a paranormal psychologist found Ellen's diary.

In this story by Stephen King, a paranormal psychologist gathered a group of psychics and psychokinetics to this house called Rose Red to investigate and document whether there was any paranormal activities there. However, strange things started to happen and some of the people in that group died or went missing.

After watching this show, it dawns on me whether there is such a thing as psychic. Some say that they are able to read the minds of those whom they touch; some say that they are able to predict what is going to happen to the people around them. Frankly speaking, I do not believe in this. Rather, I believe that the devil wants us to believe so that he can control our minds the things that prevent us from seeing. For eg, mind readers may tell someone that he/she will meet a good opposite sex partner and they will live a wonderful life if they continue to do something. When such things are said, the receiver will somehow lock this in his/her mind and make it happen without realizing it. This is the same as fortune tellers. They tell you your 'future'; then you lock the 'future' in your mind unconsciously and make it happen. So when it happens, you will say that this fortune teller is very accurate. What we are doing here is exposing ourselves to things that can be quite dangerous. Just like what Stephen King said when he was interviewed for Rose Red. Things can be very unexpected in life and if we are not careful, we will fall into the devil's traps. Besides, another thing I have learnt from this show is that sometimes, we are so pre-occupied in getting what we want, that we lose focus on what is really important to us. Dr Joyce was so pre-occupied in trying to get the results of paranormal activities, that she could not care less of any of her group members' lives. When each one went missing or died, she was only curious on whether the findings were documented in her equipment. When she was confronted by Steven, she justified her actions by saying that there was no such thing as dangerous and that some of them deserved to die. How sad!

May we never end up pursuing our own interests and forsake the lives of our loved ones or any one around us. May God guide us and keep us pure. Help us to have the wisdom to accept things around us and to discern what is from You and what is from the devil. Keep our feet strong and steady in You, Lord so that we can stand up firm on the greatest mountains. We may not receive any reward on earth for doing that, but I know that our reward is already in heaven. Thank you Lord for everything You have done and are doing and going to do in our lives.

Mess!!!!!

The past one week was a really mess week for me! Every thing started not as I thought it to be. Then last Saturday, I was left to handle the work with the elderly alone, without knowing that I was supposed to be the only one doing. That creates a bit of frustration. We have limited volunteers. In fact, on that day itself, there were only six volunteers. To get them to help in teaching the elderly to do art & craft was worse. The volunteers were not told what we were supposed to do, two volunteers were asked to do packing and two volunteers were doing the health checkup for the elderly. So basically, I was left with two other volunteers and we had to do everything in a short time. Then came another shock. My colleague announced that we would be giving some containers when the elderly were singing. Everything was a mess!!!!!! Then when one of the elderly was singing, she talked to another elderly so loudly that this elderly could not continue.

I really hope that I can do it better the coming week and do it according to what I have already planned. If not, it will be another messy time. In fact, some of the elderly were so restless. Everything was so draggy. Lord, please grant me the ability to encourage the elderly and let them do something useful, that they will not be so restless during their time with us.

Thank God that the donation for the elderly items was received with good response. In fact, thank God for Anne for coming up with the idea of moving to the crowds instead of let the crowds come to us. In less than an hour, most of the items were sold, so we left some for the Sunday event. On Sunday itself, though some were reluntant to give and some were thinking that we were 'begging' for money, there were also some who willingly give that little bit. I remember one lady (don't really know whether she is a Filipino or Indonesian) who gave one dollar for an item when all her friends looked away and pretended that they never saw us. May God bless those who willing give and though the amount may not be great, may You continue to bless them greatly.

Really after God's heart?

Today, I went to This Fashion - Special offer store and found out that they were playing worship songs in the shop. I don't know whether to be happy in hearing that or sad. Happy - because more people are beginning to recognize who God really is. Sad - because maybe they are playing this song not knowing what it really means. Much publicity has been given to the recently released Worship album which we can hear in TV commercial. Do people really listen to the lyrics or do they just play the album because it is popular now?

Whatever the motive, I pray that the Holy Spirit will do a marvelous work in all those who listen to this Worship album. May their spiritual eyes be opened and see the real God in their lives.

God is Good!

Today, I received some news that some volunteers felt that we have been very unfair to certain people. During an outing sponsored by companies, a group of them felt that they were being neglected and it was always the 'usual' ones who got to go for such trips. This group suddenly disappeared and expected us to know that something was wrong. I really hope that there is a way to make these volunteers talk to us first before the disappearing act. However, I must acknowledge that not many people will do that, especially those who feel that they are able to do so much more. It's always the self ego that makes them feel that they have done much more than anyone else.

Maybe I can separate the volunteer groups into 2: one to be in charge of food and the other group to be in charge of befriending the elderly and any other adhoc tasks. There must also be a briefing before each week's activity starts, just like in any outing. I pray that God will help us to open our eyes to solve this situation and help us to have the wisdom to encourage the elderly and the volunteers.

Lord, give Andrea and I the wisdom to speak love to the elderly and the volunteers. Let there be open communication and not bad-blood. Let them be transparency so that there will not be any misunderstanding. Lord, give us strength when it seems so hard to convince the elderly or volunteers on our good intention. As they give us constructive feedback, please help us to improve. In Your Name, let these be done with Your Agape Love!

A weekend well-spent

Last Friday, I went to JB with my new colleagues for Staff Summit. It was a very fun time spent not only with them but also with God. In this Summit, there was no restriction on our ranks or what we do. Rather, it was a corporative Summit. I must say that this Summit really helps me to do what other departments are doing. Now at least, I can tell people what other departments are available and what other things they can volunteer in.

As each day was closed with fun and enjoyment, something which Pastor Beatrice said kept repeating in my mind. Don't let the distractions keep you away from what you are called to do. Indeed, I have let distractions keep me away from what God wanted me to do previously. I MUST NOT do that again! Though there may be problems, hardships or other enticements, I must recognize these and ask God for strength. With my own might, I can falter very fast. But with God, all things are possible. Also, I should not judge others. But to know that God sees all our hearts and we are all Work-In-Progress while on this earth.

Thank God for this organization! May you continue to do marvelous things among us. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Exciting memories!

On Thursday, 14 Aug 2008, we had our outing to Qian Hu Fish Farm. My first outing with the elderly in Leng Kee Community Centre. It was very tiring and one elderly tried to 'devalue' us by calling us names for not picking her up when she was late. However, the overall outcome was great. Every one had fun.

Today, 16 Aug 2008, we had another outing to Qian Hu Fish Farm. This time, it was with the elderly in Macpherson. There were also some volunteers from a financial planner company who sponsored this outing. Every one in that company was so sincere in spending time with the elderly. We shared our jokes and as usual, one of our regular volunteers cracked jokes. He even shared with me the things I can do whenever I am out in a coach with the elderly. Then we invited the elderly in that coach to sing. Only one uncle dared to take up the challenge. He was so spontaneous and funny. Then he profusely thanked all volunteers for doing this trip and made the elderly feel so happy.

During lunch, there was also a big singing session. That same uncle who sang in the coach was the first to sing, followed by another uncle, a lady and then an auntie. We had so much laughter.

Though this job requires alot of strength and planning, yet I can feel so happy and enjoy myself totally. Boy! I can't wait to meet these elderly again next week. They are so cute and adorable!

New Beginnings!

Today is the 4th day in my new job and tomorrow no need to work due to National Day! Yes!!!

Not that I don't like this job. But I was very tired. Yesterday, I had the honor of going to Leng Kee CC to see how the elderly programme was runned there. The volunteers there are really on auto-pilot mode. They know the elderly people there and will get them to the proper places first before doing any other things. Yesterday's experience was a bit long though. My colleague, Andrea and I were not told that the MP for this area would be joining us for the lunch which was sponsored by the CC. So we went with our activities and when we were about to cut the birthday cake for those whose birthday falls on this month, the person in charge of the CC told us to wait till the MP came. That really caught us by surprise. What is ever worse is that some elderly asked my colleague where there would be ang bao given to them. We thought, "Not Chinese New Year, where got ang bao?" But we were wrong. There was really ang bao given, to celebrate National Day. Though the event went well, it was very tiring. We ended our session there and reached office at 4pm.

Then we rest for a little while before moving to our hospital visitation. The person whom we visited had a heart operation. Though he had the operation only on Monday or Tuesday, he had most of the wires removed for him. In fact, I was so happy for him that he recovered so fast. He looked so healthy and energetic that you would not suspect that he was a patient in SGH. Besides, his recovery is so fast that he can be discharged tomorrow. Really thank God for His hand protecting this elderly and given him such speedy recovery.

Working in this organization really gives me a sense of hope, belonging and makes me squeeze my creative juices to come up with suggestions. Though I don't know some people yet and some of them look like they are really scared talking to me, I pray that through the days to come and the retreat, we can break the ice and be a team, working towards a common goal. As we are going to bring the elderly to an outing next Thursday, I pray that everything will go on smoothly and every one including the volunteers will enjoy ourselves. On 15 Aug 2008, the Mayor for our district is coming to visit our organization. I also pray that on that day, every thing will run smoothly.

Thank you Lord for everything!

Finally got some $$$

Thank God! The things which I sold in eBay after so many years finally can sell off. I just met a buyer for a Information Technology book which was used during my course for Advanced Diploma in Commerce. Though I sold at a very very small price, but at least I have money to give offering later when I go church.

Thank God for the provision!

THE Day to sign the Letter of Appointment

FINALLY! The day has come for me to sign the letter of appointment. Officially, I will be joining Care Community Services Society on 5 Aug 2008. After a long long wait.

Boy, I can't wait to go today to work. But then must tahan first. While I am happy to do something I like, I am sad to hear the news that one of my ex-colleague cum mentor cum friend cum big sister is resigning. So sad! We used to spend time talking about the work there, the pressures that we faced and the kind of treatment we as admin staff got. Then now, she will be gone on 16 Aug 2008. Before she goes, I must really get a good chance to talk with her.

Though I am sad, I think if it is God's will for her to venture into another aspect of journey, it will be better for her as well. May God bless this sister who is always so considerate and helpful and cheeky!

More waiting!

I thought that I can finally go to work again next week. However, another week to wait.

Somehow, I was quite disappointed. Why? No one was informed about the delay in the letter of appointment for me until I raised it up. Sigh! I just wanted to start early so that I can get things on hand first and then get myself fimilarize. Of course, I need money to go through this period of time. But no problem. Just trust G0d. Like the message which Pastor Dennis shared today. Our God is a God of more than enough. He will not let me be so financially trapped that I cannot get out of it. Of course, I must be responsible too. I think I have not thought through the process well enough, so I have been unemployed for coming to a month. But since it has happened, I only have to pick the pieces and move on. NO point dwelling over what has happened. May God give me more money to tide over the months to come.

What is Life built on?

Love means risk, but the payoffs outweigh the investment. Behind every success story you'll find people who once felt so discouraged they wanted to quit, who fell and needed lifting when someone stepped in, picked them up and helped them to keep going. Life is not built on acquisitions and accomplishments, it's built on relationships. So keep yours in good shape!

I NEED MONEY!!!!!

With so much increasing costs and many endless bills to pay, I sometimes wonder when I can really save some money for rainy days. Costs of living increase, bills increase, loan amount increase. Only not increasing is my pay. Sigh! When will there be a time to earn more money?

Now, my only hope is to get the Vemma products promoting so that I can get more people to sign up as members and me buying the products to sustain my health and earn some cash. PLEASE God, help me to get more members that are really interested in buying the products and share them with others so that my weekly income from Vemma will be at least 3 figures.

Oh God, please bless this webpage http://www.vemmabuilder.com/500580405 and let many sign up as members, not just pre-enrollees. Let them buy many products so that I too can get earned. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.

Why cancer?

This year, I have been dealing with many people with different types of cancer. First, it was my second uncle who had the last stage colon cancer. When we discovered it, he couldn't control his bowels anymore. That was a big blow to us. Never did we think he would get this. He was such a good man, always after God's work. After a short few months, he passed away. He had lost so much weight until I couldn't recognize him.

Then, some of my church members got cancer suddenly and died within a few months. What got me sadder was one of my close friends' husband who had a very rare cancer. He was said to be the 14th victim of such cancer. He died on Thursday. But thank God that he died without feeling any pain. According to my close friend, it was just a sigh before he passed on.

Today, I went to one funeral handled by the Pastoral Support in my church. She was also a cancer victim. She did not seem to pass on, rather when we looked at her, she seemed like sleeping. In a very deep sleep. Her son was very sad and was very emotion when Pastor Sunny prayed for her family members. He seemed to have much regret on things that he didn't do or say to her. But like what someone said at the funeral, maybe it was meant to be that. God wants us to have some things not yet done or said to our loved ones before they die so that when we go to heaven, we can do those things with them and say those things we wanted to.

What's important in this life is not whether I will get cancer and leave this world in pain. Rather, when I am still in this world, have I done things according to God's will for me? I hope that my family, friends and loved ones can say in their death beds that they have done God's will in their best efforts. May God bless all my family, friends and loved ones!

17 July 2008 - A mixed feelings day!

This morning, I received an sms from one of my close friends to inform me that one friend's husband was in critical condition. It was said that we had to see him as soon as possible. This friend's husband was actually suffering from a very rare cancer. He is in fact the 14th patient having such a condition. As you may expect, there was no medication to cure this kind of cancer. Everything was trial and error. So it was very painful to see him taking the medication and undergoing chemotherapy in the hope that his condition would be better. His family also tried their best to comfort him. I thought of visiting him after my interview.

Then in the afternoon, I went for my interview. It was more of a discussion between the interviewers and myself. They gave a very detailed description of what I was supposed to be doing. I thought, "Wow, great! I can finally fulfil my dream of working with the elderly'. As more details were given, my mind flashed with many images of how I could help in the job. At the same time, I was unsure whether I would meet the mark.

After the interview, I thought of calling my friend to inform her that I would be heading down to visit her husband. What's next was not what I expected! I received a missed call and an sms from my close firend. Her message mentioned that that friend's husband had passed on. I was very sad. I wish I could visit him earlier. But I could not due to my other commitment.

Through this incident, God gently reminds me that in life, we may try to control many things happening around us. However, there is one thing which we cannot control at all; we can never control when we die, how we die and where we die. You may build an empire for yourself, you may abuse the people around you to get to where you are today, or you may even have tons of money to spend. But as long as there is no partnership with God in all that you do, these are just worthless things. A breath of the wind!

Remember: we come into this world with nothing. We will exit from this world with nothing too. For those who trust in God, we need not fear. The exit from this world is the beginning of eternity. Just continue to trust God even when we do not know when, how and where we die. We just have to live like this is our last day on earth.

God bless!



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A Resting Period

Today is the 5th day of resting from all work. Though I have no plans to start working yet, but the money on my pocket states otherwise. To some people, I may be very stupid to quit a job that can pay well. But I only live once, so I want to do things according to my interest. Money is a means to buy things; it is essential. However, it is not everything. What's more important is that I need to live happily. May God grant me a temporary job soon.

An ending

Today is the second day of which I have left the previous company. Though I have not received news about working in the new company, somehow, I am not afraid or anxious. Funny right? It seems like everything will be arranged by God. I only need to obey and follow His ways. After leaving the previous company, it is such a relief. On my last day, I was doing nothing at all. Suddenly, one of the managers seemed so friendly. But to stay there for long, I am afraid I may become a double-standard Christian.

Though I don't have much savings and still have many expenses and loan to pay, I believe my God is able to provide me with much more. He is my provider, my help in times of need. Because of Him, I have the power to create wealth, healing and able to enjoy all the marvelous things He has prepared for me. Though the road may be long and tiring, but keeping ahead with Him in focus is what I want to do. Better to do things according to God's plan than to live a life without Him.

Thank you Lord for everything.

God, what is my call?

Yesterday, I have talked to Chew Lian and Shuyi about the possibilities of returning to Church to work. We talked about the push and pull factors that caused me to resign and they also asked how I would react if the same factors surfaced if I was able to work in Church. Frankly speaking, I told them that I was more clear-minded of what I want in life now. I want to honour God more. But there is an issue - the many medical leaves I had took while working there. They asked me of my health condition. I really don't know why my health is not so good while there. All I know is that I don't seem to have enough rest.

Then I went to meet Pastor Bea, a nice lady who looks a bit fierce. She opened another door for me, something that I dream of doing but not really bold enough to try. She told me to work with elderly people. Why I said that this is something I dream of? Well, in one of the office cell that we had while working in Church, Pastor Lam ever asked what we thought of doing if there is no limit of resources. I remembered saying that I wish to open a home for the elderly people, making sure that they have a place to sleep, a place to call their home, let them eat well, spend time listening to them, just be there for them. Then she said that when we had these desires, it did not happen now. But rather God has already placed them in us when He moulds us in our mothers' wombs. So when this proposal from Pastor Bea was given to me, I asked myself, is this from you, God?

This is my sincere prayer:

Please let me have a crystal clear answer to whether this is the call You have for me. To go to where Pastor Bea had proposed? I need to decide fast so that I can quickly let Shuyi know to ease her of other things. God, can You let me know before Tuesday?

Corinne told me that all the experiences we had so far, God will not let any go to waste. What should I do Lord? I need to quit from this current job. That's for sure. But where should I go next? Please help me to make a wise decision and let this decision be the correct one. I want to make a difference to the elderly's lives. I know I don't have much patience, especially when talking to my parents. What can I do to make sure that this is not something for me to try out but rather it is Your will for me, Your direction for me? Will I be lazy by not volunteering my time for the elderly or by making excuses for not going to the elderly cell? Lord, what is Your plan for me? Please show me.

I commit these to Your hands. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

What happened all these while?

It's been a long time since writing in here. Well, things may have turned worst or better. Last year, I went into full time ministry by working in the church. It was the closest I was to my life motto! You may ask: So what's your life motto? My life motto: To spend more time with my family, to become a pastor and help the elderly in whatever way I can. Sound simple but seem difficult to achieve. You say, I left my ministry this year, thinking that God wanted me to venture back to the marketplace. I did not know why I have this idea. Maybe the limitless boundary that I was facing at church make me leave.

So I joined a General Insurance company as a claims executive. I thought that was the company that God wanted me to work. Why? I was shortlisted because I did not have the necessary experiences. What's more - the pay was much better that what I quoted. So I believed God was intending me to do something good. However, first week into the job and I felt like quitting. The colleagues in the same rank as me and those higher seem to build a wall around them. They are so unfriendly, so unapproachable. At noon sharp, you will see them dash out for lunch. To me, that's amazing! They did not even bother to ask the new staff on board to join them. However, those colleagues in the lower rank are more approachable. You can ask them whatever, and if they know, they will willingly share with you. What a contrast!

Then during the Stress and Time Management which all staff need to attend, I was faced with another reality check. On the second day of the course, we were asked what was our life motto. I happily wrote it down and the next thing I know, I stared at the paper really hard. Then a thought came and asked, 'What happened to your motto? You were so near but now you seemed so far.' That got me very upset that I did not have the mood to do anything. I was faced with the hard reality that my life would not belong to the marketplace ministry. My life belong to full time ministry in church. I was dumbfounded.

I shared with two of my sisters-in-christ. They gave me much encouragement, something that I did not think someone will ever do for me. I told them that I felt rotten inside. I was so stupid to miss God's call in my life. They spent time listening to me and telling me that whatever experiences we have now, God will make it to good use. But that did not ease the pain and heartache I feel inside.

Then one day when I just could not take it any longer, I handed in my resignation. My boss who joined this company at the same time as me was not surprise. In fact, he also wanted to resign. We spent some time talking about the department's structure and the ways the colleagues around us worked and we just could not help but felt more like leaving. However, the AGM in that department was quite astonished at my resignation and talked to me. Though most of the conversation I could not remember, there was one part where she said, 'Ask God for direction'. So I tried engaging God in this aspect. I feel like I am doing this battle alone. I feel tired, aimless, helpless.

One of my sisters-in christ then told a Pastor about my calling and mentioned my wish to return to church to work. So that Pastor is going to meet me tomorrow. What we will discuss, I am unsure. I just pray that everything will turn out well. Then I got a call from the church office. The HR HOD and my previous HOD wanted to meet me tomorrow too. So I will meet up with them first before meeting with this Pastor. I do not know what will come out of this. Then I received an sms from one of my AM who is outstationed that she wanted to lunch with me on Monday by talking to me before I make the final decision of quitting. Today seems to be a day full of unexpected arrangements.

Whatever happens, I pray that God will help me to make the right decision this time. I may break down and cry when I talk to the Pastor. I may hold back my feelings. What really matters is that God will teach me what and how to say things. I also pray that when I finally tender my resignation, all my colleagues will really wish me well and not treat me as an enemy.

I hope that everything will turn out well tomorrow.

God is still in control!

It's been quite some time now since I last wrote in here. Well, some unpleasant things have happened. At the same time, some wonderful things have been happening too!

Let's talk about unhappy things first. Things that really nearly killed me. Since last year, I was suddenly being put under a supervisor who liked to micro-supervise her subordinates. It seemed that everything I did was not up to her expectations. In fact, she said that I was too stubborn not to look to others for help. Well, what happened was this.

After attending Life Conference 2006, I went back office to find that there were so many things to be done. Office incoming and outgoing mails were not sorted for three days, no one keyed in the corporate ids for new companies created, my phonemail was full of messages asking why the corporate ids were not created, etc. So after some time to clear the backlog, my supervisor kept asking me questions about the things that I did, why I was so slow in doing my tasks. Realizing that the year end was approaching and I still have so many tasks to clear, I requested from my Head of Department (HOD) for a temporary staff. He told me to discuss this with my supervisor. So I did two days later. My supervisor requested that I listed down what I was doing and the man-hours needed to do each task. On that day itself, I did as I was told. However, there was no reply from either my supervisor or HOD.

Then came the year end mad rush. Every thing was last minute. So the whole team had to help out. Of course, the team members were not happy as they felt that that was my job. By the time we had finished what was supposed to do, it was time for reports and final contests results to be out for the financial year. In one of the contests results that I did, I was being questioned by my supervisor why the figures did not tally for one of the insurance agency force. I was quite puzzled what she meant. Then upon probing, I told her that another supervisor in another section had told me to do that method. But guess what! That supervisor denied that she ever told me to do that method. As there was no written proof, I was made to bear the consequences. Not only do I have to clear all the reports, I also had to clear the backlogs, sending out of gifts to the insurance agents. My HOD and supervisor felt that I had not done my best. They felt that I should have been more proactive and quickly came up with a solution. I was very depressed at that time. I asked why God was allowing this to happen. Then I shared this episode with one of my carecell members. She in turn shared this with my sectional leader in carecell. Then came a chance where we were able to meet together during the combined cell get-together. My cell member, Edeline, my sectional leader, Mandy and Pastor Pat then prayed for me, that God would give me strength and that my supervisor would be nicer in treating her subordinates. One comment made by Mandy suddenly hit me hard. She commented that maybe God wanted to move out of this situation and go to another place. But I had not moved. I thought about it that whole night. I prayed hard that God would show me the way. What should I do?

Then I was given a rude shock! During my yearly appraisal, my HOD told me that I would be assessed by two supervisors and himself. However, only my supervisor did an open appraisal with me. She told me that there was only one area which I was quite weak in, and that is my tactfullness in dealing with people. I agreed with her that I was quite untactful at times. Then when my HOD gave me the incremental letter this year, he told me that I was an irresponsible, no accountability, untactful subordinate, basically, everything negative about me. And because of that, I was not given any incremental for the hard work put in. I was totally shattered by his comments. Again, I asked God what should I do?

Then came the answer that I should leave that company. However, I did not manage to get any job interview despite several resumes being sent. So I began to doubt whether I should really leave that company. Maybe it was only my desire to get out of there but never God's. So I boldly told God to give me an idiot-proof signal to show me that it was His desire to move me out of there.

In the next few days, something happened. My two staff passes came off from the card holder twice when I was holding them on my hand. At first, when the passes came off the first time, I thought: 'Hey, it's really God asking me to leave. But is it that coincidence?' So I told God to show me another time to confirm that it was really His answer to me. Then the passes came off the second time and I knew that very instant that it was God wanting me to leave. So I spent the next few days asking God where He wanted me to go to as I sent resumes to many companies. Even though there were two interviews that I went after that, there were no second interview being offered. Then I saw in Jobstreet that Trinity Christian Centre (TCC) had a job vacancy as a ministry assistant. I immediately grabbed the opportunity. Working in this church has always been my dream, not because I am attending this church but rather I feel that God has something in store for me here. This is where I have grown spiritually.

One week passed since I sent in the resume to TCC. However, there was no reply. I asked God whether this is the ONE He wanted me to work in. The next day, I got a call from TCC for an interview! I was so happy when I heard the news. When I went to Trinity@Paya Lebar, I was actually very nervous. Pastor Danny explained to me the broad job scope and what was to be expected in a church environment. Then he asked me the reason why I wanted to leave that company after staying there for 12 years and 8 months. I told him the reason frankly. So he told me that the church would contact me again if I were selected.

One week passed again. Still no news of second interview. This one week was worse than the first. Unreasonable demands from my HOD and supervisor began pouring in and every day, I would be reprimanded by either my HOD or supervisor. I cried myself to sleep every night. I asked God why I had to go through this. What was His purpose? It was my desire to work in church, so what was holding Him back? Then came the call from TCC. I was asked to go for a second interview. This time, I had to take half-day leave as the interview was on a weekday. I went and answered the questions frankly to the interviewers. They told me that they would let me know within a week whether I would be selected. When I stepped out of the room, I was feeling demoralized. I felt that I did not do the interview well. I asked God how come after going through all the waiting, I just felt that I would not be given the opportunity to work in church. That day, I walked around like a zombie. I did not know what I had talked to my friend about. Every thing seemed to be very meaningless suddenly. During that night, I told God that if it was really His will for me to work in this church, let me be able to go through this period in the company and even when I might have to take a pay cut, I would be willing to follow Him.

On Saturday, 24 March 2007, I was woken up suddenly, not by any disturbances. When I woke up, there was a strange feeling. Then the phone rang and my mom picked up the call. Suddenly, she came running to wake me up, shouting that there was a call from TCC. I jumped out of bed to answer the call. Yes! I got the offer. I was so excited that I kept jumping with joy. Then I thought: 'Was I dreaming?' So I went to ask my mom to confirm that I did receive a call from TCC. She confirmed and I quickly typed my resignation letter.

On Monday, 26 March 2007, I handed in my resignation letter to my supervisor. She was shocked to hear that I wanted to resign. She asked me whether I had given a very careful thought and whether I had found a new job. I told her that I would be working in TCC and she told me that she would need to inform my HOD about this and let me know whether the resignation was approved.

Finally, my HOD called me to a meeting with him. The first words he said was, "All the best to your new job." Given the normal circumstances, I would have been quite sad to hear my HOD whom I serve for one and a half-years said this. However, at that point in time, I was too happy to care for anything. When news of my resignation reached my other colleagues, most were sad that I would be leaving whereas some felt that I was stupid to go to a job that paid lower. But one of my friends gave me encouragement by saying that as long as I felt happy, a lower pay would be nothing. Every thing would be settled by God.

The day before I was to report to the new job, I was so happy that I could not sleep. I kept tossing around and I could even hear my heartbeats so loudly. Finally, the day came. To my pleasant surprise, everyone in church is so nice, welcoming new staff into the family. Though I do not know most of the people there, but they still give me a helping hand so that I can easily blend in. Most importantly, everyone has a common objective: to serve God. He is the only employer that we work for.

I really thank God for His arrangement. Though at first I thought that God seemed far from me, He's actually walking with me all these while. He has not left me to do what I need to do. Rather He carries me in His shoulders and let me know that nothing is too difficult for Him. He wants me to listen to Him and put my trust in Him. Time and again, He tells me that if I have faith as small as a mustard seed, I can ask for a mountain to move and it will move. I do not have to doubt. Also, I need not fear of the future. Like what Pastor Jeffrey said during the staff devotion that fear only cripples us, making us lose sight of God. I thank God that He opens my eyes just in time to see His mercies and greatness upon my life. Though I may not know what holds tomorrow, but I know that He is still in control.

God, I hand my future to You. Do the work in me as I fulfill my destiny in You. In Jesus' name, Amen!