These few days, I have been listening to Danny Chan's songs. It might come as a surprise but I did not know that Pian Pian Hei Fuan Li was sung by him. The first time when I heard this song, it was sung by Leslie Cheung.
Then after going through his songs, I found it strange that such a young man, with promising future, actually suffered from depression. He sacrificed his studies in Sec 4 to pursue his interest in music. Then he began a journey of fame and song compositions. In fact, I found him to be very talented. The songs that he composed were very down-to-earth and mostly sad. However, I must say that they are very touching. Like 'Having you'.
As I viewed more of his videos and interviews in Youtube, I realized that his depression was quite serious. He was a perfectionist. He wanted everything to be perfect, if not, he would not even start anything. Like his fashion shop. In one interview, his fan asked him when he would open it, but he said that he would take time to open it as he did not want to rush things through. With this perfectionist character in him, he made himself unhappy. It is this obstacle that I think creates his low self-esteem. When his friends, Leslie Cheung and Alan Tam had more successes than him or so he thought, the pressure set in. He began to withdraw himself and then slowly lost the interest to compose songs. What is worse was he began to take alcohol to numb himself. In the end, he was found unconscious in his own home on 18 May 1992. During his unconscious state in hospital, one of the friends who was being interviewed mentioned that he was in a large hospital room filled with many well-wishes from fans. The only sound in the room was from the machine that kept him alive. When she told him to quickly wake up from his slumber and play, his eyeballs showed movement. To this, this friend said that she believed he wanted to wake up too but was unable to somehow. Whatever the reason, only God knows. Finally, on 25 Oct 1993, after being unconscious for 17 months, he passed away due to organs failure. He was only 35 years old when he passed away.
As I saw the videos and songs he sang in 1987, I think that maybe at that time, depression had already set in. His smile was very forceful and there were criticisms that he seemed unable to overcome. Being a perfectionist, I somehow understand how he must have felt. Did he think of getting help from God at that point in time? What he had was friends who cared for him, but what about him turning to God? Did it occur to him then? All these questions will only remain as questions unanswered.
His father even opened a memorial hall for people to go and visit. This hall contains not only his pictures from young, but also things that he used and clothes that he used to wear. The pain that his family members feel will always remain but God can heal them. A legend has passed on. His songs will forever remain in the hearts of those who appreciate him.
God, I may not have know the family members of Danny Chan. But I pray that Your strength to be with them. Let them come to know You and be comforted by You. The passing on of Danny is a pity to many but You have a greater plan for each one of them. Lord, be with them and help them understand that You are still in control. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
